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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Movies  |  Bad Movies  |  Three bad "S" movies - - my Saturday night viewings « previous next »
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Author Topic: Three bad "S" movies - - my Saturday night viewings  (Read 1848 times)
The Burgomaster
Aggravating People Worldwide Since 1964
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« on: April 20, 2008, 09:33:07 AM »

Coincidentally, the 3 DVDs I watched last night all begin with the letter "S" and are all bad!  Here they are (and some of you may consider some of this information to be SPOILERS, so beware if you care!):

* SOUL VENGEANCE (aka WELCOME HOME BROTHER CHARLES) - This is a confusing, poorly-acted, poorly-edited blaxploitation flick directed by Jamaa Fanaka (PENITENTIARY).  Charles is a small-time Watts drug dealer who gets arrested by a white cop who recently found out his wife was having an affair with a black man.  In a moment of fury, the cop nearly castrates Charles, but Charles survives the ordeal and spends 3 years in prison.  When he is released, he discovers that he has hypnotic abilities and his penis can grow to enormous proportions (???) and strangle people.  So, he hypnoptizes the wives of his enemies, instructs them to let him into their houses late at night, and he strangles their husbands with his snake-like penis.

* SHE-DEVILS ON WHEELS - This very low budget is a Herschell Gordon Lewis female biker flick.  The biker gang calls itself "the Maneaters."  The members wear cheesy vests that have a picture stitched onto the back of a cat's head with long fangs.  (The quality of these vests is what you would expect from a group of 8 year-old girls who decide to create their own clothes).  The girls spend most of their time riding around and having sex (mostly implied or off-screen) with a bunch of guys in a clubhouse.  The "exciting climax" (????) involves a battle between the girls and a gang of male hot-rodders.  This movie has some blood and gore, but it is very cheesy and pretty tame compared to some other HG Lewis movies.  As usual, the dialogue, acting, costumes, props, sets . . . damn, just about eveything . . . are bad and cheap.  But if you are a fan of HG Lewis movies or biker flicks, you'll probably want to see this some day.

* THE SWARM - It's amazing that this movie often gets overlooked when we discuss the worst movies ever made.  This one probably has the worst dialogue of any mainstream movie I can think of.  And the rest of it is typical Irwin Allen crap.  Michael Caine (bee expert); Katharine Ross, Richard Widmark, Bradford Dillman (all representing the air force); Henry Fonda (creaky old scientist); Fred MacMurray, Ben Johnson, Olivia de Havilland (local-yokels); Richard Chamberlain, Lee Grant, Jose Ferrer, Patty Duke Astin, Slim Pickens (other "name" actors making up the "all-star cast") all fret, argue, and run around as a swarm of killer bees attacks a small town and then heads for Houston!  The verbal exchanges between Caine and Widmark are painful to listen to . . . I mean, this is REALLY bad dialogue.  One standout example is Caine yelling at Widmark about how important the honey bees are.  It sounds like he's reading his lines right out of a text book.  And the romantic conversations between Caine and Ross will make you want to either laugh or thow up (or both).  And this damn movie is almost 2 1/2 hours long!
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