On Saturday my fiancee and I headed into Manhattan to see the now infamous
Bodies Exhibition. On the way there, we hopped the R train and were soon greeted by the face of horror: the Happy Guy. For no less than 45 minutes, the man walked back and forth through the car, talking in a shrill, earsplitting, clown-like voice about how he's the Happy Guy and he wants to make everybody happy. He tried to make people look into his handheld mirror and see how beautiful they all were and how happy they should be. When no one in the full car reacted, he vowed to leave the car and not bother us anymore at the next stop... only to re-enter the car from another door and begin the shtick anew.
This time, instead of "leaving" because no one would respond to him, he started doing racist caricatures of Italian and Puerto Rican people, loudly reciting generic lines from The Sopranos and calling us his "Boriquas". Then, Happy Guy began expressing his sarcastic delight that we were all apparently depressed. Because we wouldn't give him the attention he wanted, we were all a depressed group of sad and pathetic people who couldn't join him in his "happiness", even though it was Saturday and no one had to work or go to school, and we instead chose to act like we were suffering the torments of Hell... which, as you can imagine, we actually were at this point. His "depressed" routine continued until we eventually left the train to transfer, crossing out fingers that he wouldn't be making the same transfer, nor that we would be "entertained" by him on the return trip home.
I haven't wanted to put my fist through a person's skull this bad since the last time I saw Anne Coulter on TV saying that Jews and Muslims need to be put in Christian re-education camps so they can see the error of their ways. Yes, that's right, I've now seen someone who irritating outlook on life is as intolerable and disgusting as Anne Coulter's. The guy even looks like a clown sans greasepaint and colorful costume! Now that I look at
his website, it looks like he was trying to promote his cable access show. There wasn't anyone following him with a camera, but I'll TiVo the thing and post a clip of the resultant skit if he was wired with a hidden cam and that's in fact what this was all for. Sadly, the one clip they offer on the website doesn't even come close to the highest of rash-inducing irritation this blight on humanity can sustain.
If anyone in the NYC area should see this guy or know someone who has, I'd love to hear about their reaction.
