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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Movies  |  Bad Movies  |  You're in charge of Hollywood, what're the next five blockbuster remakes? « previous next »
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Author Topic: You're in charge of Hollywood, what're the next five blockbuster remakes?  (Read 16492 times)
BoyScoutKevin
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« Reply #75 on: December 06, 2008, 06:36:50 PM »

BoyScoutKevin,

If not a remake of LAIR then how about a fresh adaptation of the story?

CARMILLA could also use such treatment.


Hellwood606,

Actually that's already what a lot of Hollywood producers do.  They buy/secure the rights to a property then, instead of doing a proper adaptation of the work, take that dusty old script they've had mouldering in their underwear drawer since they were 12 and use it instead.

An adaptation of Bram Stoker's original novel. It might work. The BBC radio has already done a radio adaptation of the book, which sounded promising. I haven't heard it, so I can't comment on it, but it was probably a more "faithful" adaptation than Russell's film. Having read the book and seen the film, the only things Russell kept from the book, was the title and the name Mercy Farm. Everything else was changed. Even the names of the characters.
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Rat-Bat-Spider
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« Reply #76 on: December 06, 2008, 09:19:31 PM »

5. Armand Assante And Sean Young star in the remake of Them! (Sean Young as a giant ant!) Budget: 80 Million

4.Robert Downey Jr. is... El Topo! With Andy Richter as El Topo's naked young son! Budget: 45 Million

3.Kevin Mckidd as J.J. Gittes in Chinatown! Sir Ian Mckellan as Noah Cross! Adrian Brody as Kevin Mckidd's face double in the infamous "nose-cutting" scene for extra nasal details! Budget: 60 Million

2. Samuel L. Jackson as Blacula! In Blacula! "You betta scream, muthaf**ka! 'Cuz I'm gonna drain yo ass dry!" Budget: 52.5 Million

1. MANOS: The Hands of Fate!!!!! Daniel Day-Lewis as The Master! Cate Blanchett and Brad Pitt as Michael and Margaret! And (drum-roll please!)... Johnny Depp as Torgo! Big knees will be the hottest fashion breakthrough since the skinny tapered jean! Budget: 300 Million
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Kester Pelagius
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« Reply #77 on: December 06, 2008, 10:02:20 PM »

2. Samuel L. Jackson as Blacula! In Blacula! "You betta scream, muthaf**ka! 'Cuz I'm gonna drain yo ass dry!" Budget: 52.5 Million

Yes!

But why stop there.  Let's restart the blaxsploitation genre.

What about a remake of Blackenstein?  Might as well cast a Bride of Blackenstein too!  How about. . . Nia Long as the Bride and Martin Lawrence (if you want to go the comedy route) or Will Smith (if you want to go the big budget vacuous CGI route) as the monster.   Hmm, so that's. .

5. BLACKENSTEIN

4. BRIDE OF BLACKENSTEIN

3. BLACKZILLA - A tongue-in-cheek pseudo-remake of Godzilla but give the monster an afro and instead of having an all Asian cast it's a all Black cast.  This will be totally politically incorrect and have just about every comedian in it you can imagine, with the white actors getting killed off or playing reverse stereotype roles.  Making a special appearance would be Andy Dick; who we see snorting white powder off a stripper's arse just before Blackzilla squishes him underfoot.

2. SUPER FLY - Remake with Samuel L. Jackson starring.

1. BIG DOLL HOUSE - I know BLACK MAMA, WHITE MAMA is probably the better "blaxsploitation" title but there's something about this one.  Not sure who to cast in it though.  Any suggestions?
« Last Edit: December 06, 2008, 10:05:59 PM by Kester Pelagius » Logged

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« Reply #78 on: December 07, 2008, 02:42:42 AM »

Famke Janssen as Collier (Judy Brown), Drew Barrymore as Alcott (Roberta Collins), and Kelly Rowlands as luscious, leggy Grear (Pam Grier). I love The Big Doll House and all things Corman-sleaze. When it comes to blaxploitation, my three faves are Black Belt Jones (Jim Muthaf**kin' Kelly!), Boss N' word (or just The Boss), and Blackenstein ("To stop this mutha, takes one bad brutha")
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« Reply #79 on: January 06, 2009, 06:09:55 PM »

Here's some movies I'd like to see in the new year because, well, with the economy the way it is they'd make me happy.

5. X-MEN: UNLEASHED - My own title that.  This would the X-Men as it should be, gritty, R-rated, for adults.  It'll be full of blood and guts and gore and hideous mutants oozing puss from blisters and other weeping orifices.  Wolverine's claws would rip and rend with visceral horror and his dialogue will cut deep with scathing four letter blood spurting detail.  When Cyclops uses his power flesh will burble and blister and pop, buildings will burst into flames, children will cry, and women will weep in terror.  When Storm uses her powers it wont be a neat clinical CGI effect added in post we'll break out the wind machines and crank them up to hurricane strength and drench extras in REAL water.  This will be no dumb, watered down, PG-esque live action cartoon fantasy.  This will be a live action graphic novel driven by hardcore plot that pulls no punches, either in restrictions on dialogue or nudity or gore &tc.  Oh, yeah, and Magneto wont be a p#$$y this time!

4. FLESH GORDON - A movie released as a jump-off to a CATV series.  I know, I've mentioned this before, but there's nothing in the original FLESH GORDON that you couldn't do today.  Actually you could go much further!  Just look at Rome or the L-Word.  This is SOOOO doable, and it couldn't possibly be any worse than the abortion sciffy put on the air.

3. CALIGULA - Have I nominated this already?  If not it's past time for a fresh Caligula movie.  Give it the sort of attention LOTR got.  I'd like to see it released theatrically but it the subject matter requires it to run too long release it both theatrically and as a CATV miniseries.

Okay, now something new. .

2. 7th Voyage of Sinbad  - No CGI.  Made with animatronics/puppets.  Update the story, give a bit of an edge, toss in some slave girls, gratuitous "nudity" (flimsy attire, semi-clad, &tc), and basically just have fun.  Sorry kids.  Life is too short and I'm tired of movies getting dumbed down so you'll just have to wait to see this till you're old enough!  ;)

1. ARENA - Just read the review and tell me this movie is NOT worthy of a update/remake!
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Doggett
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« Reply #80 on: January 06, 2009, 06:17:55 PM »

1. War of the Worlds...again
2. Superman
3. Attack of the Killer Tomatoes...I've heard they're gonna try this...
4. Beetlejuice
5. Gremlins...All the merchandise would be a film producers wet dream.
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Frogger
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« Reply #81 on: January 06, 2009, 06:28:01 PM »

1. War of the Worlds...again
2. Superman
3. Attack of the Killer Tomatoes...I've heard they're gonna try this...
4. Beetlejuice
5. Gremlins...All the merchandise would be a film producers wet dream.

Nice selection.

I agree with the first but if they rape one of my favorout books again to bring out a s**tty film which can not even follow the f**king story...... (Breaths deeply after the insult that was the last remake)

Superman would be interesting.

Attack of the killer tomatoes. I would be interested in watching the end product hopefully with lots of stupid tomatoes killing scenes.

Bettlejuice I never got into the original but a remake would be interesting.

Gremlins  Cheers I would not mind perhaps critters or tremors as possible choices.

1. The creeping terror mainly due to the fact I liked the story but with a slightly faster monster and with out the rouge narrator. This film stands a chance.
2. Critters.
3. Blades (A parody of Jaws with better funding and more time would be excellent) Of course it may be a bit out dated.
4. Gamera
5. The planet of the apes. (all 5 films)
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Doggett
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« Reply #82 on: January 06, 2009, 06:34:43 PM »

Blades...BRILLIANT!!!!!! BounceGiggle
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WilliamWeird1313
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« Reply #83 on: January 16, 2009, 12:16:30 PM »


Mutant Hunt

I have an idea in my head of how to turn it into a "can't miss" kind of movie. Sorta more like a "reimagining" than a straight remake though. Blade Runner re-imagined as an ultraviolent psychosexual Cronenbergian nightmare.

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« Reply #84 on: January 17, 2009, 02:32:31 AM »

NO MORE GAWD DAMN REMAKES!!!!I HATE REMAKES.
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Kester Pelagius
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« Reply #85 on: January 19, 2009, 02:16:15 PM »

It occurs to me that the one spoof Hollywood's cookie cutter spoof machine hasn't done yet is REMAKE THE MOVIE.  Of course it will have to have Carmen Electra in it, as most of them do, and perhaps Anna Farris.  As to plot. .

Any ideas?

Of course if Hollywood is going to spoof themselves by making the ultimate spoof movie then we can't leave out National Lampoon so how about. . NATIONAL LAMPOON'S LOONY LAMPOON MOVIE.

The unrated editions of these should be interesting.   Wink
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Skull
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« Reply #86 on: January 19, 2009, 03:18:00 PM »

Lets talk gold...

1, White Christmas... Remake will be about two soldier budies from the Iraq war and 2 showgirls (Miley Cyrus???), music will be like *High School the Musical* good enough to make Bing Crosby cry... :)

2, Videodrome... Remake will be upgraded that the character will be sticking a DVD's in his chest, the movie will have a ton of CGI effects and less *sexual* content for a PG-13 rating.

3, Ghost... Remake will star Lindsay Lohan, Shia LaBeouf and Rosie O'Donnell... Hmmmmmmm... Can anybody picture the Lindsay Lohan/Rosie O'Donnell sex scene... :)

4, The Ice Pirates... How could this go wrong??? Pirates of the Caribbean meet Star Wars, this will have ton of CGI effects, it'll have so much CGI effects that the actors will not need any makeup... :)

5, Dr. Phibes... It's time to cash in on the success of SAW with a "Torture Porn" story that started it all... Crispin Glover will play Vincent Price's role... :)


Please note I will not be surprised if White Christmas, Ghost and Dr. Phibes will be remade within the next 5 years... :)
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Doggett
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« Reply #87 on: January 19, 2009, 05:11:59 PM »

How long before Jaws...
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Skull
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« Reply #88 on: January 19, 2009, 06:00:17 PM »

How long before Jaws...

You are talking about the guy that took the guns away from the cops in ET... I'll assume that within 10 years the humans will be tossing cotton balls at the shark, before it's remade... :)

(Nobody will dare to remake a Steven Spielberg movie while he is alive)
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AndyC
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« Reply #89 on: January 19, 2009, 06:30:34 PM »

True enough. Guys like George Lucas and Steven Spielberg don't do remakes. They just monkey around with the original movie to try and keep it current. Worse than a remake, if you ask me.
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