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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Movies  |  Bad Movies  |  You're in charge of Hollywood, what're the next five blockbuster remakes? « previous next »
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Author Topic: You're in charge of Hollywood, what're the next five blockbuster remakes?  (Read 42554 times)
Tim
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« Reply #60 on: September 29, 2008, 09:08:37 PM »

Them
Monolith Monsters
Island of Terror (Generic name, but the premise of this movie RAWKS!)
The Blob (Yet again...)
War of the Worlds (Only done right this time)
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Justy
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« Reply #61 on: September 30, 2008, 12:29:02 PM »

OK... My top 5 remakes if I were the Shogun of Hollywood... Sho'nuff.

I agree that I am not a big fan of remakes, but there movies which could be brought back, given another chance to get it right or brought back with better special effects.

1. Dune (1984) - This is a movie truly deserving the need to get it right. Length will not be an issue. I will force the Producer and Director to read the books and understand them. The mini-series was accurate but very bland. The movie was great but well... yeah.

2. Twelve Angry Men (1957) - I think that this movie could be brought back with more of an ethnic / gender dynamic added to it. However, even though the jury would not just be men I would retain the title for historical reasons.

3. The Black Hole (1979) - This was a great underrated movie. I'd like to see it with better effects and taken more seriously. You can keep the robots just make them cooler. Keep Maximillian the same big, red devil he is but make him more realistic. Keep the giant fireball scene and definitely keep the ending. That was one the best endings for a film I ever saw.

4. Flash Gordon (1980) - I loved the campy version. It is a classic unto itself, but let's see a more serious version. If I could get Sydow back as Ming that would be great. I want to see a more realistic Mongo, strange races more epic battles. Retain the old sci fi feel to it with the modern effects.

5. The Charge of the Light Brigade (1936) - I'd keep it period (19th century) and make it a serious romance movie with authentic battle scenes. I'd like to see Robert Downey Jr. in the Errol Flynn role, both have that bad boy off camera persona with the distinguished looks. I'd pair him up with a nice up and coming starlett. Again, I'd keep it a 1936 feel, but with better effects and serious writing.
« Last Edit: October 16, 2008, 08:27:16 PM by Justy » Logged

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Kester Pelagius
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« Reply #62 on: October 07, 2008, 06:38:54 PM »

For October I'd like to nominate the following films and/or TV series for the remake/re-envisioning treatment.  Some of these may have already been nominated.  Some may have impossible casts but, hey, these are MY fantasy picks so deal with it.   Wink --

5. THUNDAR THE BARBARIAN -- Do I really need to explain why this post-apocalypse Saturday morning cartoon full of wild wahoo wackiness AND fun sword and sorcery silliness is an awesome choice for turning into a live action movie?  I'd film it in two versions: PG-13 for the kiddies and R for the adults with an "Unrated" special edition for DVD release that has twice as many over-the-top and totally unnecessary-but-mindless-fun-to-watch CGI SFX and &tc.

4. DUNGEONS & DRAGONS - I'd make this a movie actually based on the 1st ED era D&D game, but not necessarily one of the extant properties like DRAGONLANCE or FORGOTTEN REALMS.  I'm thinking, since this is October and Halloween is just around the corner, I'd like to see RAVENLOFT, the classic original module, adapted for the big screen.  Yeah, Dungeons & Dragons: Raventloft.

With perhaps two casting requests: 1) Uwe Boll must have a cameo in this as a anonymous unnamed hiker that gets ripped limb from limb before the title scroll.  Not by Strahd but maybe by a pack of wolves or rabid bats. Something fun and unexpected. 2) Paris Hilton must be in this AS A HICK-ABILLY REDNECK CHICK. By which I mean she wears no make-up, wears worn out daisy dukes, a old tattered flannel shirt, and walks around barefoot.  She'll be the stupid girl who steps on a rusty nail.  The scent of her blood will draw in some beasties.  She'll die in fountain of blood and gore while the other cast members run screams.  Yeah, that's it, that's all I want.  Just those two casting/scene caveats.

 BounceGiggle

3. INCREDIBLY TRUE ADVENTURES OF TWO WOMEN IN LOVE -- Adapted from Incredibly True Adventures of Two Girls in Love.  This is not a sequel but rather a re-envisioning that turns the original "coming of age" story into an tale about two older women discovering each other.  Starring Today's Hoda Kotb in the role of Evie and Kathie Lee Gifford as Randy.

Synopsis: Evie is a college professor and single mother raising a teenage daughter.  Randy, a divorcee and owner of a automotive garage, is a earthy widow who's been alone for many years.  It's not that she hates men or prefers to be alone it's just that she buried herself in the business once her husband died and hasn't come up for a vacation since.  That is until Evie brings her car into the shop after a fender bender and sparks fly.

2. LAIR OF THE WHITE WORM -- I'll admit it. I liked this oddball little flick.  So much so that I think it should be remade with the eroticism and surrealism cranked way, way up.  This should be weird but fun with moments bordering on sheer visceral horror that, somehow, disturb without being gratuitously gory.  (No torture porn here!)

1. CAFE FLESH -- Starring Sarah Silverman as Lana, with comedian Mario Cantone as Max Melodramatic, and directed by John Waters.  Like the original this will liberally mix sex, satire, and the surreal with a storyline of the absurd about annoying characters addicted to watching sex shows because they can't perform themselves and are just going through the motions of living.
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Justy
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« Reply #63 on: October 09, 2008, 11:11:03 AM »

UKLA! ARIAL! RIIIIDE!!   BounceGiggle
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roscoenadsat
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« Reply #64 on: October 11, 2008, 03:21:00 PM »

i will never remake a good movie or a classic
Only bad and mediocre, a bit funny ones ...
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Sleepyskull
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« Reply #65 on: October 13, 2008, 04:37:38 PM »

These would be more like twists on the original than actual remakes:

1. Gremlins: With flying gremlins, cyborg gremlins, and gremlins crossed with insects and spiders.

2. Tales of Terror: It would be done in rotoscoping and have bizarre colors.

3. The Terminator: Done as a musical with lots of cameos by people I like and the Terminator could move super fast as well as having skin that bullets would just bounce off of.

4. A Bucket of Blood: Have Walter Paisley be super tough starting at the very beginning and at the very end have his victims come back to life and try to kill him. However he will escape unharmed and begin a new life in another country in a way that sets up the possiblity for a sequel.

5. Jurassic Park: The only thing I would make different is I would have the dinosaurs become much smarter than humanity in general and their level of smartness and ability to learn would never stop growing. Within a few weeks the smartest human would become only about as intelligent as the dumbest dinosaur. But only if the dinosaur also had brain damage.

 TongueOut 
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Fishasaurus
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« Reply #66 on: October 14, 2008, 05:26:24 PM »

1) All 3 of the Creature From The Black Lagoon  features remade with NO CGI, good acting, a great script and many, many, many more Gillmen.  Who win in the end.  Every time.   Twirling

2) Humanoids From The Deep -- yes, again! -- only GOOD, with horrid onscreen piscatorial date rapes and dreadful carnage as the women under attack fight back -- and sometimes win.

3) Unknown Island,  with MUCH MORE CLAYMATION and dinosaurs that actually eat the WWII flyboys.  Hugh Beaumont's death would be particularly grisly and unenviable.

4) Land Of The Dead, only GOOD, with a much more crushing zom victory and a lot less macho posturing from the living.

5) London Voodoo, MUCH scarier and with a lot more bloodshed.
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Kester Pelagius
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« Reply #67 on: October 15, 2008, 02:50:17 PM »

i will never remake a good movie or a classic
Only bad and mediocre, a bit funny ones ...

Welcome to the board roscoenadsat!

Not even A MIDSUMMER NIGHT'S DREAM?  That's a classic.  But, aside from the 68 version, most of the adaptations have been less than great.

As for bad and mediocre. . .  I could see taking something like, FUTURE WAR, and giving it a decent budget and making something of it.  Couldn't possibly be any worse!

Not sure about the "funny ones" as comedy tends to either work or not.  If you have a comedy that doesn't work re-making it wont help.  Now you can maybe recycle the basic premise, but really you're going to need to start from the ground up, IMO.
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roscoenadsat
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« Reply #68 on: October 16, 2008, 08:45:11 PM »

maybe the incredible shrinking man...
and a "not too funny one" like PAT, and another SNL movie but with different scritp and cast, just that
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JJ80
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« Reply #69 on: October 28, 2008, 05:27:03 PM »

For a slightly older movie remake, the old Bruce Bennett serial "Hawk Of The Wilderness" would make a decent genre-melding blockbuster full of Hoolywood friendly elements. This features a red Indian version of Tarzan called Kioga, a lost Indian tribe with an evil medicine man, endangered scientists, a fake monster, pirates and the obligatory erupting volcano. This could work in an 'Indian Jones' style manner with decent stunt work, well-placed cgi effects but would probably be killed by too much political correctness these days.
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Kester Pelagius
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« Reply #70 on: November 11, 2008, 11:27:49 PM »

My list of blockbuster remakes for this month is dedicated to Circus_Circus.


 Cheers

5. GALACTIC GIGOLO - You know that annoying former SNL dude that stars in those ridiculous Gigolo movies?  Well this will star him.  It'll be one of those sad sack "comedies" that poke fun at Hollywood movies ala MEET THE SPARTANS.

4. SLAVE GIRLS FROM BEYOND INFINITY - This time the movie will actually be about slave girls, or rather women abducted by aliens and taken aboard the slaveship INFINITY.  The costumes will be skimpy.  The subtext gorean.  The plot minimal.  Okay, I exaggerate, the plot will be an excuse for nudity. . . AND LOTS OF IT!

3. PRINCESS WARRIOR - This time it will actually be a sci-fi space opera.  Will start about the same but, instead of cheaping out and shifting to guerilla street shots of a lame non-action action dramady the movie will be about a warrior Princess' epic struggles against the evil Empire, er, I mean her evil step sisters machinations to take over the Empire.  Yes, that's right, I'm dressing Cinderella up in sci-fi garb with some Messalina, Messalina undertones.  Should be fun.  Lots of bare flesh and some light torture porn.  I know making this torture porn is selling out but that's what Hollywood and the MPAA seem to be endorsing these days.  So it'll be part FLESH GORDON, part HOSTEL, and a whole lot of ludicrous.

2. HELLO MARY LOU: PROM NIGHT 2 - I've always felt this movie needed more nudity, much much much MORE nudity.  So more shower scenes, half naked chicks writhing around in beds, and lesbianism.  Not just sapphic subtext I mean split beavers dripping gore in your face leave nothing to the imagination lesbianism!  So, yeah, I'd pretty much just make this a near direct remake with an eye to correcting those deficiencies.   TeddyR

1. STAR WARS - Basically boot Lucas in the posterier and hire some intelligent adults to redo the entire series (using the old canon) as an intelligent adult science fantasy.  Sorry kids.  You'll just have to wait to grow up to see it!  Oh, yeah, and there will be no medium-chlorine Anakim the seeker savant messiah bollocks either!
« Last Edit: November 11, 2008, 11:34:49 PM by Kester Pelagius » Logged

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WilliamWeird1313
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« Reply #71 on: November 12, 2008, 10:05:19 AM »

For October I'd like to nominate the following films and/or TV series for the remake/re-envisioning treatment.  Some of these may have already been nominated.  Some may have impossible casts but, hey, these are MY fantasy picks so deal with it.   Wink --

5. THUNDAR THE BARBARIAN -- Do I really need to explain why this post-apocalypse Saturday morning cartoon full of wild wahoo wackiness AND fun sword and sorcery silliness is an awesome choice for turning into a live action movie?  I'd film it in two versions: PG-13 for the kiddies and R for the adults with an "Unrated" special edition for DVD release that has twice as many over-the-top and totally unnecessary-but-mindless-fun-to-watch CGI SFX and &tc.

4. DUNGEONS & DRAGONS - I'd make this a movie actually based on the 1st ED era D&D game, but not necessarily one of the extant properties like DRAGONLANCE or FORGOTTEN REALMS.  I'm thinking, since this is October and Halloween is just around the corner, I'd like to see RAVENLOFT, the classic original module, adapted for the big screen.  Yeah, Dungeons & Dragons: Raventloft.

With perhaps two casting requests: 1) Uwe Boll must have a cameo in this as a anonymous unnamed hiker that gets ripped limb from limb before the title scroll.  Not by Strahd but maybe by a pack of wolves or rabid bats. Something fun and unexpected. 2) Paris Hilton must be in this AS A HICK-ABILLY REDNECK CHICK. By which I mean she wears no make-up, wears worn out daisy dukes, a old tattered flannel shirt, and walks around barefoot.  She'll be the stupid girl who steps on a rusty nail.  The scent of her blood will draw in some beasties.  She'll die in fountain of blood and gore while the other cast members run screams.  Yeah, that's it, that's all I want.  Just those two casting/scene caveats.

 BounceGiggle

3. INCREDIBLY TRUE ADVENTURES OF TWO WOMEN IN LOVE -- Adapted from Incredibly True Adventures of Two Girls in Love.  This is not a sequel but rather a re-envisioning that turns the original "coming of age" story into an tale about two older women discovering each other.  Starring Today's Hoda Kotb in the role of Evie and Kathie Lee Gifford as Randy.

Synopsis: Evie is a college professor and single mother raising a teenage daughter.  Randy, a divorcee and owner of a automotive garage, is a earthy widow who's been alone for many years.  It's not that she hates men or prefers to be alone it's just that she buried herself in the business once her husband died and hasn't come up for a vacation since.  That is until Evie brings her car into the shop after a fender bender and sparks fly.

2. LAIR OF THE WHITE WORM -- I'll admit it. I liked this oddball little flick.  So much so that I think it should be remade with the eroticism and surrealism cranked way, way up.  This should be weird but fun with moments bordering on sheer visceral horror that, somehow, disturb without being gratuitously gory.  (No torture porn here!)

1. CAFE FLESH -- Starring Sarah Silverman as Lana, with comedian Mario Cantone as Max Melodramatic, and directed by John Waters.  Like the original this will liberally mix sex, satire, and the surreal with a storyline of the absurd about annoying characters addicted to watching sex shows because they can't perform themselves and are just going through the motions of living.



Sarah Silverman in Cafe Flesh?

Homina homina homina homina.

Excuse me, I have to go touch myself.
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« Reply #72 on: November 16, 2008, 10:26:30 AM »

I don't get it? Why if I was a rich movie producer would I waste my time trying to better some old used up scripts. No, what today's audience is looking for is something new and exciting. It's like that music out there. Now they call it new, but it still sounds like the same old rock-and-roll to me. Oh yes, if I was a rich movie producer in Hollywood right now. I would take my finished and copyrighted sci-fi manuscript, turn down the publisher who is now talking about a book deal for the work. Convert it into a movie script and produce my own sci-fi movie with a running time of three hours. theoretically speaking, it would be the equivalent of five movies in one!!!
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BoyScoutKevin
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« Reply #73 on: November 20, 2008, 04:27:35 PM »

Like Kester Pelagius, I'm quite fond of "Lair of the White Worm," but unlike him I wouldn't like to see it remade, because you cannot top what is over the top in the first place.

What I would like to see is the sequel to the film, which is called "Return of the White Worm," and for which a script supposedly exists. What exactly is in it, I don't know, but the story supposedly revolves around two American reporters, Prince Charles, the British Museum in London, an abandoned tube station that is connected to the museum, and the body of a woman, painted all in blue, which can be found in the basement of the museum.

And, oh yes, I hope the sequel also involves alot of scouts or boy scouts.
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Kester Pelagius
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« Reply #74 on: November 24, 2008, 12:38:43 PM »

BoyScoutKevin,

If not a remake of LAIR then how about a fresh adaptation of the story?

CARMILLA could also use such treatment.


Hellwood606,

Actually that's already what a lot of Hollywood producers do.  They buy/secure the rights to a property then, instead of doing a proper adaptation of the work, take that dusty old script they've had mouldering in their underwear drawer since they were 12 and use it instead.
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