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Author Topic: WORST MOVIE EVER!!  (Read 7656 times)
CheezeFlixz
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« on: May 03, 2008, 12:12:07 AM »

In honor of IMDB I'm starting a WORSE MOVIE EVER thread, because every movie on IMDB has a WORSE MOVIE EVER thread.

Well I don't know what it is, because I haven't seen ever movie ever made. But nearly every movie I look up on IMDB had a WORSE MOVIE EVER thread, it was annoying long ago now I find it comical and a validation I'm watching a bad movie.

I just watch "DON'T BE SCARED" ... I won't bore you with the details, I'll just say skip it and save 75 minute of your life. Hitting your hand repeatedly with a hammer would be less painful. I've now moved on the "HOUSE OF BLOOD" it's about on par with a SciFi original nothing fancy or that great but it don't completely suck.

"DON'T BE SCARED" is not the worst movie ever, but it's a close second. It had a budget of $10,000 and it was written and directed by 'Master P' I'm guessing he's a rapper. Soon as John Carpenter and other horror directors starts making rap album, Master P can made more movies. And some thought Uwe Boll was bad.

edit typo
« Last Edit: May 03, 2008, 08:52:36 PM by CheezeFlixz » Logged

Jack
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« Reply #1 on: May 03, 2008, 07:55:40 AM »

Oh, so many to choose from.  Death Tunnel immediately pops into my head.  Imagine a cheap, derivative horror movie with terrible acting, but now let's only use about 3 seconds of each scene.   Yup, let's jump from 3 seconds of this to 3 seconds of that to 3 seconds of something else, throughout damned near the whole freakin' movie.  And lets stick the snowy TV effect in there about 150 times as well.  Seriously, if someone should be banned from making films, it's the two numbskulls that came up with this "thing".

Stick It.  To paraphrase Pinhead "You shall suffer annoyance the likes of which even God has never seen".  You know how annoying kids in their early teens can be?  But it's tolerable, because they're in their teens.  Now imagine a 24 year old actress acting like this.  Egads, it's just off-the-scales annoying. 

Anacondas:  The hunt for the blood orchid.  I don't mind generic, been-there-done-that 100 times before type movies.  Any film maker with even an entry-level IQ will normally add something of at least moderate interest.  Not so with this movie.  I mean, the boilerplate characters, the painful tedium of the infinitely predictable plot, the banal cliche dialogue (I correctly guessed what the next line of dialogue would be in more than one part of this movie), the unbearable comedy relief character who seems to be killed (we cheer!) but he lives.  If I had a copy of the DVD right now I'd shove it through the paper shredder just to hear the electric motor go rurr rurr rurr reeeeeeeeearrrrr.
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Patient7
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« Reply #2 on: May 03, 2008, 02:59:02 PM »

I've seen some movies that I just couldn't finish.  I tried City of Lost Children last night, some french film with Ron Pearlman and theres a guy stealiong kids dreams or something, I lasted about half an hour and I just said, "This is terrible," so bye bye!
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Pilgermann
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« Reply #3 on: May 03, 2008, 03:11:17 PM »

Oh, so many to choose from.  Death Tunnel immediately pops into my head.  Imagine a cheap, derivative horror movie with terrible acting, but now let's only use about 3 seconds of each scene.   Yup, let's jump from 3 seconds of this to 3 seconds of that to 3 seconds of something else, throughout damned near the whole freakin' movie.  And lets stick the snowy TV effect in there about 150 times as well.  Seriously, if someone should be banned from making films, it's the two numbskulls that came up with this "thing".

I've never heard a single good thing about that movie.  For a while I wanted to see how bad it was for myself, but now I'm afraid.  The place where it was filmed is actually pretty creepy by itself.
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Menard
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« Reply #4 on: May 03, 2008, 05:39:36 PM »

First off...

Zardoz - A pointless, grindingly annoying film featuring James Bond running around in his version of a loincloth; which makes about as much sense as a giant head floating in air. If the plot and imagery in the film seem a little too phallic, that is because this is one dick of a movie. Only loved by the incurably, and obnoxiously, insane.



Two more:


Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle - The cast, the budget, and someone still laid a huge, steaming log o' crap on us. Should be followed up by the sequel Charlie's Angels: Full Refund.


Stephen King's Desperation - Ever wondered what a film written by a six year old might be like? Watch this movie. Who knew that you could blow up an entire mountainside with a tube sock's worth of fertilizer?
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indianasmith
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« Reply #5 on: May 03, 2008, 10:35:58 PM »

THE BLOOD SHED -

How bad can a movie be that features characters named BeefTina and Butternut???


Bad beyond words.  Trust me.
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hellbilly
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« Reply #6 on: May 04, 2008, 05:22:25 AM »

Mummy Maniac (2007) - Awful piece of turd with an estimated budget of $500 according to IMDb. This film is the reason why Lionsgate is on my s**tlist.

Return Of The Boogeyman (1994) - According to legend this one went down in history for being the first (or one of the first) movie released on DVD. Your brain will freeze and eyes will explode because there is no other way of escaping devouring dullness wrapped in sticky boredom. Worst ever.

Space Zombie Bingo (1993) - I remain torn on this one. A great achievement or a crime against humanity? One should only watch equipped with a bottle of aspirins. Just in case.
« Last Edit: May 07, 2008, 10:18:44 AM by hellbilly » Logged
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« Reply #7 on: May 04, 2008, 05:59:42 AM »

PSYCHED BY THE 4-D WITCH (197?)-An incomprehensible waste of film if there ever was one. Hard to describe. How does one describe the smell of a dirty diaper? It's unique in it's stench.  Bluesad
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Sister Grace
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« Reply #8 on: May 04, 2008, 06:08:17 AM »

The Stink of Flesh: this movie was so aweful, i wanted to clean my eyes out with clorox after watching it. Its so bad that one of the actor's names are listed as Diva in the credits!! good actor? no. Stripper gotten to old and too fat for her line of work? more than likely...
and get this, the tagline for the movie was "How do you lead an alternative lifestyle when everyone's dead?" In the beginning, there is a zombie plauge afoot. The main character who is somewhat of a amateur ninja(a guy who reminds you of the stoner checkout clerk that works the night shift at the local gas station) gets kidnapped and taken to a 'safe' house that looks like it has been fortified with cardboard. In order to be allowed to stay there, he has to 'service' the main guys wife whose name is Dexy(fat old stripper with bad dye job listed as Diva in the credits). Dexy also has a sister named Sassy who happens to have a dead fetus growth on her stomach. Sassy has a spanking fetish.
Eventually some army guys show up and there's even more swinger action. The husband, his name escapes me, starts to get jealous and the turmoil begins. I don't know why he gets jealous, considering he has another out-of-work stripper chained up by the arms in the shed. This out-of-work stripper (and potential meth-head) just happens to be infected with the undead virus (think zombie sex-slave). I can't help but ask myself, if the undead virus is spread thru blood, couldn't it also be passed in the same way as an STD?
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Patient7
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« Reply #9 on: May 04, 2008, 05:16:28 PM »


Return Of The Boogeyman (1994) - According to legend this one went down in history for being the first (or one of the first) movie released on DVD. Your brain will freeze and eyes will explode because there is no other way of escaping devouring dullness wrapped in sticky boredom. Worst ever.


This is another movie that I just couldn't make it through, ten minutes and I felt my brain begin to hemmorage.
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frank
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« Reply #10 on: May 05, 2008, 08:12:25 AM »


....
Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle - The cast, the budget, and someone still laid a huge, steaming log o' crap on us. Should be followed up by the sequel Charlie's Angels: Full Refund.
...

I've seen this accidentally with my girlfriend on TV lately. We both actually couldn't believe what we were watching. The reason to keep on going must be the same as for some people watching a messy car wreck. I now officially declare that hence and from now on this movie shall be the worst movie I've ever seen (... until I see something worse...)
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« Reply #11 on: May 05, 2008, 08:58:21 AM »

Master P?

Nah, couldn't be one of the Polonia brothers, could it?

Zardoz - A pointless, grindingly annoying film featuring James Bond running around in his version of a loincloth; which makes about as much sense as a giant head floating in air. If the plot and imagery in the film seem a little too phallic, that is because this is one dick of a movie. Only loved by the incurably, and obnoxiously, insane.

Or, maybe, just maybe, you weren't in the right state of mind to enjoy it's pyschotronic OZness.

 Drink
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« Reply #12 on: May 05, 2008, 09:08:08 AM »

Mummy Maniac (2007) - Awful piece of turd with an estimated budget of $500 according to IMDb. This film is the reason why Lionsgate is on my s**tlist.

Return Of The Boogeyman (1994) - According to legend this one went down in history for being the first (or one of the first) movie released on DVD. Your brain will freeze and eyes will explode because there is no other way of escaping devouring dullness wrapped in sticky boredom. Worst ever.

Space Zombie Bingo (1993) - I remain torn on this one. A great achievement or a crime on humanity? One should only watch equipped with a bottle of aspirins. Just in case.

I haven't seen (or heard) of any of those.  But I can name three similar titles...

DAWN OF THE MUMMY - Just plain awful.

BREEDERS - Actually: "Your brain will freeze and eyes will explode because there is no other way of escaping (the brain) devouring dullness wrapped in sticky boredom."  Does kind of sum this one up rather well.

ZOMBIE ISLAND - At least I think that was it's title.  A tediously dull menticide of boring cinematic impotence with no redeeming artistic merit what-so-ever.  Naturally it was released by Troma.
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Menard
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« Reply #13 on: May 05, 2008, 11:11:03 AM »

DAWN OF THE MUMMY - Just plain awful.

Thank you for pointing that out. That is one truly wretched movie; though one submitted review on this very site suggests otherwise.

I would like to add one that even surpasses the level of boredom of the aforementioned film: Oasis of the Zombies



BREEDERS - Actually: "Your brain will freeze and eyes will explode because there is no other way of escaping (the brain) devouring dullness wrapped in sticky boredom."  Does kind of sum this one up rather well.

Which one?

This is an odd entity in that a nowhere film was remade in no less than a period of 11 years (1986 for the original and 1997 for the remake); and still can't figure out why it was remade.

ZOMBIE ISLAND - At least I think that was it's title.  A tediously dull menticide of boring cinematic impotence with no redeeming artistic merit what-so-ever.  Naturally it was released by Troma.

I'm presuming you mean Zombie Island Massacre and not Scooby Doo on Zombie Island.

The infamous zombie bush that chases people.

I actually liked this one, somewhat, though there is the disappointment factor in finding out that what you watched it for was one big red herring. I could certainly understand why people are not too fond of this one as it is misrepresented up front, though that is part of the plot, and moves kind of slowly for what someone is expecting.
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DistantJ
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« Reply #14 on: May 05, 2008, 12:34:40 PM »

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