In another thread (Dumb Things I've Done Lately), Andrew shared a story of him doing melee with with a nest of hornets.
Attacked by bald faced hornets (actually a species of yellowjacket) on our front step. I went offensive against them. Getting stung, and the species likes to go for your face, I managed to crash off the steps in the middle of the melee. I lost a lot of skin off my legs because I was in shorts and the steps are concrete.
Then, lying on the ground, another stung me and I grabbed it, smashing it onto the concrete steps so hard I broke my watch and scraped up my wrist. That was the last of the attackers; the rest were smashed, dead, out of action.
Not done yet. I was a bit upset.
Grabbed the broom, went after the nest. Stung again, but the nest was destroyed and the big female who started the nest dead. I went inside to clean my wounds with soap and slam down some Jack Daniels before falling asleep on the couch while trying to watch "Maneater of Hydra." Katie gets home after working late, finds me on the couch covered in blood, freaks out and wakes me up to find out what happened.
I was a little grumpy about being woken up.
To which I though a Jeff Foxworthy type of reply was appropriate:
"If you see a hornet's nest and going into hand-to-hand combat with them is your first thought; you might be a jarhead."
In honor of Andrew's antics
, I thought it would be an interesting idea to extend that idea into a "you might be a jarhead...if" thread.
If you love the color green so much that you even use it on your own website, you might be a jarhead.
If every other incident you describe somehow involves the use of the words
Jack Daniel's, you might be a jarhead.
If you describe your proximity to work as "I don't live far from home", you might be a jarhead.
If every time you describe an activity and it involves the use of the words
tactic,
maneuver,
plan,
mission, and/or
melee, you might be a jarhead.
If your idea of a classy night out only involves slicking back your hair (if you can call it that), you might be a jarhead.
If your description of the birth of a child involves the use of the words "mission completed", you might be a jarhead.
Everybody, please feel free to add your own.
