THINGS I'VE LEARNED FROM BAD MOVIES.

[LilCerberus]

A six inch gold bar weighs a little less than a pack of cigarettes, & actually gets lighter the more of them you pile on.

[SynapticBoomstick]

If you own a a car or boat, run a boat charter business of any kind, or fly a plane, either commercial or private, do not under any circumstances accept business from the following person or group of people:

• -Any group of naturalists or anthropologists whose team leader's background, accent, baldness or gray hair, or any other thing that marks them as different from the rest of the meat. This person is rotten to the core and has a hidden agenda to exploit either the local natives, wildlife, or resources for his/her own gains. They will get everyone killed and your boat will sink.
• -Any group of "naturalists" booking passage to the Congo via airplane. You will lose your airplane and risk being torn apart by mutant gorillas.
• -Any obvious group of international paramilitary thieves who want to use your boat to rob a cruise ship. There is guaranteed to be a monster involved and you will lose your boat.
• -Anyone who holds a grudge of any kind against marine life. You will lose your boat (and in some cases, your plane)
• -Any government body with classified cargo to transport. Everyone will die and you will lose both your plane and your boat.
• -A group of violent individuals who show an odd dislike for sunlight and require that they sleep in the trunk/cabin during the day. you will lose any mode of travel that you currently have.

It's better just to never provide transportation to anyone, open a diner instead. However, do not do so near any of the following locations...

[LilCerberus]

The Creeping Terror
A Guitar isn't really effective as a weapon against a (uh, whatever the heck it is) from outer space.

[Lyedecker]

If you experience visions of the future, other people will see it projected in front of you as well. (Time Runner)

[Jack]

Cherry Bomb

Very large guys can take several bullets to the gut and it only slows them down.  They're pretty much impervious to any sort of pain actually.

If you stab someone in the stomach in the middle of a dance floor, not only will no one notice, but the guy won't make any sound, and he'll stand there until you've walked away before falling down.  And still nobody will notice.

It's quite possible for a guy with basically no firearms training to, using a pistol, shoot a gun out of another person's hands at a distance of 100'.  Without really aiming or anything.  Provided that he needs to explain a plot twist afterwards.

Throwing a brick of cocaine into a fan will immediately kill anyone who inhales it.

If you get beat up and have to go to the hospital, they'll allow you to stay there until all traces of bruises have completely healed.

Guys who own strip clubs are pretty much above the law because they've got incriminating pictures of just about every cop who might bother them.

[VenomX73]

Pit and the Pendulum (1961)

The iron maiden is the WORST way to go! I'd take the Pendulum any day over it.

[Lyedecker]

Mariel Hemingway can breath in outer space. (Superman IV)

I can only conclude one thing: her character must've possessed kryptonian DNA.

[Lyedecker]

Great White Sharks roar. (Jaws The Revenge)

[Ozzymandias]

Ozzymandias speaks: It is something I will never use in real life, but I learned the best way to put on a bra from the film Bad Girls Go To Hell.

Ozzymandias has spoken!!!

[jimpickens]

You can fire a sawed off shotgun, regular shotgun, rifle, sub machinegun, and a magnum over 22 with one hand and have absolutely no recoil or muzzle climb from a moving vehicle and hit your target.

[Flangepart]

You are expected to run ahead of the giant monster...directly in it's path...where it is walking.

[LilCerberus]

DRESSED TO KILL (Spoiler Alert)


When putting a tail on a murder witness, It's probably not a good idea to assign a cop who looks exactly like the suspect...

[VenomX73]

Great White Sharks roar. (Jaws The Revenge)

That's funny - I always say the same thing when I watch Jaws The Revenge...

and Jaw's roar is very close to the random monster's roar from 80's He-Man cartoons.

[Trevor]

Prepare to sometimes be surprised at a bad movie's entertainment value 

[jimpickens]

You can jump cars over everything from bridges, buildings, canyons, and other vehicles, ride a motorcycle like a maniac, fly an aircraft like a kamikaze and not even get so much as whiplash just a few scratches.