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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Information Exchange  |  Movie Reviews  |  Submitted Reader Reviews  |  PUBLISHED: An Eye For An Eye (1981) « previous next »
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Trevor
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« on: September 12, 2008, 06:42:47 AM »

Quote


AN EYE FOR AN EYE
Rated: R
XXXXX
Copyright Company and Date: Avco-EmbassyFilms, 1981
Submitted by TREVOR



THE CHARACTERS

Sean Kane: Chuck Norris! Great cop, lousy listener to his boss. Resigns from the police force after his friend Dave gets fried in a drug bust gone wrong.

Dave Pearce: Terry Kiser! Sean’s partner and good friend: steps into wet dog poo, shot, gets turned into a flaming Sambuca and dies horribly. And so, how’s your day been so far?

Captain Stevens: Richard Roundtree! Sean’s ass-kicking, ass chewin’ boss, mean mutha…..I’m talkin’ ‘bout Shaft and we can dig……uhhhh, wrong film. Shut yo’ mouth, Trevor!

James Chan: Mako! Righteous ass-kicker, abuser of telephones and sayer of wise sayings like “Warrior is not a mountain goat: it is well to remember this”. Goes up against The Professor…..bad idea.

Morgan Canfield: Christopher Lee! Newspaper and media magnate whose picture window overlooks Alcatraz Island, his next destination at the end of the film. It doesn’t matter that Alcatraz, like Robben Island in South Africa is now a museum, that is where he’s going. Gets his throat gently squeezed by Chuck Norris.

Linda Chan: Rosalind Chao! James' daughter, a high flying investigative reporter for Canfield’s station, gets pursued and finally strangled by the Human Tank.

The Professor: Professor Toru Tanaka! The aforementioned Human Tank, mute, except for an occasional “Ugga” when he is belted by Chuck Norris. Dies in one on one conflict when he is kicked into a oak table by Mr Norris, giving us an impressive view of his nads.

Heather Sullivan: Maggie Cooper! Linda’s friend and Chuck’s main squeeze, also user of his snot rag.

MacCoy: Matt Clark! Old Oirish San Franciscan policeman, heavy on the take. Gets completely trashed by Chuck Norris.

 LESSONS LEARNED

If you keep your eyes on the puddle, you’ll probably step in dog poo.
The Chinese language is an excellent device for ambushing someone.
Saying “Excuse me” is not always the right thing to say.
Drug dealers also have annual general meetings: dunno who takes minutes, though.
Nosey old ladies make a very tempting target.
You can shoot two people with the same bullet.
Limousines can sometimes self-destruct without warning.
Smuggling heroin in firecrackers ain’t a good idea.
Never assume your house is secure when Chuck Norris is coming to visit.
Telephones (the 1981 variety) can be excellent martial arts weapons.



STUFF TO WATCH FOR

48 seconds: Random act of violence against Chuck Norris’ lungs!
6 minutes 13 seconds: Random act of violence against a nosey old lady!
7 minutes 18 seconds: I sincerely hope he didn’t land on my car there.
15 minutes 39 seconds: That’s the guy my landlord sends after me when the rent’s due.
18 minutes 48 seconds: Random act of violence against a VW Beetle!
39 minutes 51 seconds: Not that button either, Chuck: that gets the Playboy Channel!
1 hour 16 minutes: Random act of violence with a telephone!
1 hour 19 minutes: If Mac doesn’t want to kill Sean, he’s doing a good job of not trying to.
1 hour 20 minutes: Someone’s reputation just got totally trashed.
1 hour 24 minutes 59 seconds: Random act of violence against two limo drivers’ heads! OW!
1 hour 31 minutes 39 seconds: Huh? Did he just say “Ugga?”
1 hour 33 minutes 12 seconds: That is the scene I want to see before I close my eyes permanently.
1 hour 34 minutes: Random act of violence against Christopher Lee’s throat!
1 hour 37 minutes: That guy can’t walk too well anymore: maybe his head bandage’s on too tight?

 NOTABLE QUOTES

Kane: “What about Linda, Mac? Why Linda?”
Canfield: “Kane?”
James Chan: “Warrior is not a mountain goat. It is well to remember this.”
Canfield: “The Professor has quite a way with the ladies.”
Kane: “You’re excused.”
Kane: “I can’t play your games, Stevens.”
Stevens: “What do I tell the Commissioner? How do I defend a man like you?”
Pearce: “I was watching the puddle so I stepped in some dog sh*t: wet dog sh*t.”
Canfield: “I wouldn’t hesitate to shoot this young lady, you know.”
Kane: “Hey guys, what’s going on?”
James Chan: “I am also in need of retribution!”



 THE PLOT

This is the only film I’ve ever seen where someone gets knocked out cold with a telephone. End of plot.

Seriously, although no one believes me, Steve Carver’s An Eye For An Eye with Chuck Norris is my favourite film of all time and one of the few that I have seen in a cinema with my late father. It’s odd that the movie was rated PG in South Africa in 1981 and was rated R in the USA. It is so much so my favourite film that I have it on VHS and DVD and I have a poster of it on my wall at work. So no one, not even Mr Norris’ webmaster believes me, but it is and remains my favourite film. I tried to recapture the magic of sitting in that same Cape Town cinema a few years back (I had also seen Ghostbusters in the same cinema a few years after that) only to be told that the cinema had closed and that there was now a bank in its’ place. Bummer.

Chuck Norris plays Sean Kane, an unorthodox policeman whose friend and partner is killed in a drug bust on the streets of San Francisco. After going beserk Billy Jack style and ruining the investigation as a result, Kane resigns from the police force and swearing revenge, mounts his own investigation, teaming up with his Zen quoting martial arts sensei James Chan when the latter’s investigative reporter daughter is murdered by what can only be described as a Sherman tank in a suit. Kane is assisted in his investigations by Heather Sullivan and her media magnate boss Morgan Canfield.

Tracking the killers down proves dangerous to Kane and James as they clash with Triad killers for hire and the scary Sherman tank in a suit. Even more dangerous are Kane’s erstwhile boss Captain Stevens and the omnipresent McCoy ~ the latter almost always being on crime scenes where Kane’s friends have met their ends. Knowing who to trust is the difficult part as Kane finds out to his dismay as his main ally on the San Francisco force proves to be up to his neck in skullduggery (this guy gets his reputation totally trashed) and the affable, fatherly, pipe smoking Canfield turns out not only to be the mastermind behind the drug smugglers that James’ daughter was investigating but also the driver of the car that turned his friend and partner Dave Pearce into a flaming Sambuca. Canfield also has a very irritating dog which Sean Kane should also have taken out, but that's another story entirely.

The Odd Couple, Kane and James mount a two man assault on Canfield’s home, using every known, unknown and slightly weird martial arts trick to defeat the baddies (even Mandarin songs are used as a sleight of hand tactic) while Stevens’ men launch their attack on the estate, shooting everything and everyone in sight, stopping to check out the food on offer and arguing bitterly all the way. Almost all of the firefights between the police and Canfield's Zombies For Hire thugs are shown in slow motion and one particular incident which defies explanation: two limousines blow up for no reason at all. Perhaps they got tired of waiting around. Even the earlier funeral of the fried Dave Pearce is in slow-mo. Despite all this, director Steve Carver couldn't have done better than what he did: turn on the camera and leave Chuck Norris to it. From battles with Chinese Triad terrorists in a San Francisco hillside home, to a one on one battle with bodyguards in an exclusive whorehouse to the final showdown, this is Chuck at his best, minus the beard.

The final showdown in the movie provided me with a thrill that has never left me (and also got me interested in the martial arts) where Kane beats the seven colors of crap out of the Professor and kicks him into a solid oak table, killing him. After Canfield is taught a lesson by Kane (and we are given an acting lesson by Christopher Lee: it looked like Chuck Norris was really strangling him) the movie ends with Kane, Heather and James walking away from the estate, smiling and laughing.

Thanks, Dad for taking me to see this.  Smile

« Last Edit: December 10, 2008, 07:08:52 PM by Andrew » Logged
Trevor
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« Reply #1 on: October 01, 2008, 03:57:11 AM »

Review has been edited in the lessons learnt and stuff to watch for sections, and slightly updated elsewhere.  Smile
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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Information Exchange  |  Movie Reviews  |  Submitted Reader Reviews  |  PUBLISHED: An Eye For An Eye (1981) « previous next »
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