Bad Movie Logo
"A website to the detriment of good film"
Custom Search
HOMEB-MOVIE REVIEWSREADER REVIEWSFORUMINTERVIEWSUPDATESABOUT
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
Did you miss your activation email?
March 29, 2024, 05:02:17 AM
713389 Posts in 53058 Topics by 7725 Members
Latest Member: wibwao
Badmovies.org Forum  |  Movies  |  Bad Movies  |  Bizarro Christian Exploitation Films « previous next »
Pages: [1] 2
Author Topic: Bizarro Christian Exploitation Films  (Read 19140 times)
Metropolisforever
Guest
« on: September 16, 2008, 07:57:47 PM »

Let's take a look at Christian exploitation films, a special little subgenre of exploitation.  These wild, paranoid, over-the-top propaganda films are usually intended to frighten fence-sitting viewers into giving themselves up to a fundamentalist interpretation of an interpretation.  If you routinely watch the Christian channels, you might see some of these weirdo films.  Here's a few examples of these under-appreciated cinematic gems.

If Footmen Tire You, What Will Horses Do? (1971) - After B-movie filmmaker Ron Ormond survived a plane crash in 1968, he began making Christian films... and this is the Christian film from Hell.  According to the preaching of Estus Perkle, if Americans don't begin living lives of Christian purity soon, a communist takeover is inevitable... within the next several months(!). Television, alcohol, drugs, sex, and miniskirts are condemned in his wild sermon, brought to life with some extremely gory, awful scenes (people senselessly gunned down, women raped, and children being beheaded and having their ears jammed full of shish-ke-bob skewers). And let's not forget the age-old sin of DANCING... we all know what THAT leads to, don't we, you shameless whores!  The special effects are absolutely atrocious, and the whole film resembles a weird acid trip.  This is, without question, the most relentless assault on the senses you will ever experience. No matter what your personal belief system may be, you will be nauseated, mortified, perplexed, and delighted watching this hopelessly dated cautionary paranoiac vision... a stultifying and richly rewarding viewing experience.  HALLELUJAH!!!  (NOTE: Ron Ormond's other Christian films are just as awful.)

The A Thief in the Night series (1972, 1978, 1980, 1983) - Another dreadful attempt to scare unsuspecting viewers into becoming devout fundamentalists.  Actually, the only people who watch this junk are devout fundamentalists themselves.  This traumatizing film series follows several different people as they struggle to survive during the "Tribulation", such as a non-believing housewife named Patty (who is decapitated by God in the third film).  The third film has the best special effects, but that's not saying much.  These films are pretty disturbing, and not nearly as entertaining as Ron Ormond's dreadful slop.  At the very least, these films will certainly spark some debate.

The Blood of Jesus (1941) - Weird, low-budget, all-Black film about a Baptist woman who is accidentally shot by her atheist husband in the rural south of the United States.  She succumbs to the injuries, whereupon a good angel bids her to journey with him to the Crossroads of Life. Before she can travel far, the Devil lures her with the temptations of juke joints and the city. Can she regain the straight and narrow before it's too late? And what is to become of those she left behind?  An odd little curiosity piece, added to the National Film Registry in 1991.  Unlike so many other films, this actually has some cinematic and historical value.

As always, feel free to add some more "classic" films to the list.
Logged
WingedSerpent
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 290
Posts: 2531


I AM THE BAD PHOTOSHOP EFFECT!


« Reply #1 on: September 16, 2008, 09:27:26 PM »

I sometime watch them to see which TV actors from the 80s/90s are starring in them.  It's propably more than you think.

There was one called Unidentified which says that UFO's are demons.  Naturally, it had the archetypes of this genere.  There was the fundamentalist Christian-who is usually one of the only nice people in the movie, and the skeptic who is a often portrayed as a jerk.  As a matter of fact, non-Christians in these movies are usually shown as jerks, bumlbling fools, or having some other sort of social ineptitude. 


I will not watch anything that has "Left Behind" in the title.  I've heard the books take a downward look on Catholics (like myself)



   
Logged

At least, that's what Gary Busey told me...
Rev. Powell
Global Moderator
B-Movie Kraken
****

Karma: 3100
Posts: 26772


Click on that globe for 366 Weird Movies


WWW
« Reply #2 on: September 16, 2008, 09:53:58 PM »

I think this may be one of the few poorly explored domains left in the bad movie universe.  

IF FOOTMEN TIRE YOU...  I recently heard of this and planned to track it down.  I believe it was deliberately left in the public domain, so as to better save souls, so it should be easy to locate.

You forgot to mention the Christian/gore/anti-drug/turkey monster movie BLOOD FREAK (link to Andrew's review, which unfortunately de-emphasises the Christian element of the film).   That's probably the weirdest, wildest and worst proselytizing movie ever made.

A long time ago I found a clip on youtube of a preacher describing his trip to Hell.  He was so impressed with what he saw there that he decided he had to show the rest of the world what he had seen, so that fear of eternal damnation would make them fall in line and join his sect.  His solution to the problem of demonstarting the reality of Hell to the masses was to make a cheap B-movie tour of hell, complete with rubber demons and ultra-cheap special effects, and to sell the videotapes off his church website.   Unfortunately, I lost the bookmark to that clip.  But I imagine that there's a lot of self-produced stuff like that out there that is truly bizarre but never got seen by anyone but the true believers (who didn't need the message, anyway).
Logged

I'll take you places the hand of man has not yet set foot...
Scott
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 186
Posts: 5785


Hey, I'm in the situation room ! ! !


WWW
« Reply #3 on: September 17, 2008, 12:16:04 AM »

Years ago I tried to watch IMAGE OF THE BEAST before I understood b-movies. It was rough viewing, but I did it even back then. Rented this from a Christian bookstore back in the 80's.

Image Of The Beast (1980)
Small | Large


Another more recent film was the poorly acted and bad special effects was LEFT BEHIND. Never bothered to finish this film based on the popular books.

Left Behind (2000)

Small | Large


Thief In The Night (1972)
Small | Large


If Footmen Tire You, What Will Horses Do? (1971)
Small | Large


Also found a small clip of THE BLOOD OF JESUS that you mentioned.

The Blood of Jesus (1941)
Small | Large


Some of these films are worth a look for those unfamiliar with protestant/bible/fundamentalist end time beliefs. The only value in these films for me are the martyrdom aspects, but you can understand the need to be true to the faith by reading your history. Everything from Roman persecution to Communist persecution. The apocalyptic scenarios have been Eschatologically intriguing to me for the past 22 years, but have no added value and contribute nothing to Christian faith.

Some of my favorite books back in the mid-80's were THE LATE GREAT PLANET EARTH and THE RETURN, but have never found them to help much spiritually.

What would be neat is for the people who get distracted by these things to go to the Holy Church. Instead of dividing and creating their own churches since the times of Luther and Calvin. The East/West divide is bad enough without all those others running around. It's ideal to have faith that is unmoved by earthly situations, but naturally we are all weak and have our own things to overcome. Church tradition helps bring us closer to God.
Logged

LilCerberus
A Very Bad Person, overweight bald guy with a missing tooth, and
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 704
Posts: 9083


Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?


« Reply #4 on: September 17, 2008, 12:52:58 AM »

Somewhere in my collection of closeout VHS obscurities, I've got this twisted little gem "In Trouble"
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0067189/

Hardly a Christian flick, it employs pro-choice propaganda as an excuse for porn, with a young Sybil Danning in a pair of bit parts as it's main draw.

It opens with a story about a young woman going to jail following a botched illegal abortion, followed by a series of comically misogynistic erotic shorts about women seeking illegal abortions, mostly emphasizing on the behavior that resulted in their pregnancy, followed by the exploitation they face in their quest for unscrupulous doctors & folk remedies.

The only time it tries to venture away from both erotica & comedy, is when it tries to deal with the subject of the rape of a minor. Even in this case, the movie still can't take itself seriously, as the situation dissolves into a pool of sap, played out by cartoonishly drawn characters.

The tastelessness of this movie is too much, even for me.
Logged

"Science Fiction & Nostalgia have become the same thing!" - T Bone Burnett
The world runs off money, even for those with a warped sense of what the world is.
Raffine
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 812
Posts: 4466



« Reply #5 on: September 17, 2008, 08:40:59 AM »

THE GOSPEL ROAD (1973)

Produced by June Carter and Johnny Cash! Johnny is the singing narrator and June plays Mary Magdalene! Kris Kristofferson co-wrote the songs! Big-boned blond Swede Robert Elfstrom directed and played Jesus! His Leif Garrett look-alike son (Robert Elfstrom, Jr. natch) plays juvie Jesus!

It's a little-known fact big sideburns were popular in Nazareth.

I actually saw this at The Beautiful Lake Theater and got a gold star from my bible school teacher!

I didn't get a gold star for going to see SSSSSSS and DR. PHIBES RISES AGAIN, though.  Bluesad

Small | Large


Small | Large




IN SEARCH OF NOAH'S ARK (1976)



The fine folks at Sunn Classic Pictures do for Noah's Ark what they did for UFOs, Bigfoot, and the Loch Ness Monster. They had a blurry picture of something dark and sorta square-shaped sticking out of a rock, so this PROVES CONCLUSIVELY that Noah's Ark is dark and sorta square-shaped and sticks out of a rock.




Alas, the film makers couldn't get closer for a better look because of the Communists! Or was it a conspiracy between the UFOs and Bigfoot?!?

I saw this one at The Beautiful Lake Theater, too.
« Last Edit: September 17, 2008, 08:58:59 AM by Raffine » Logged

If you're an Andy Milligan fan there's no hope for you.
lester1/2jr
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 1109
Posts: 12271



WWW
« Reply #6 on: September 17, 2008, 08:54:20 AM »

I've rented some of the Christiano films that Netflix has. 


1. Pamela's Prayer -awesome

2. the First Stone - also pretty awesome


also check out jack t chick's christian scare comics at www.chick.com  they have all of them, my favorite is the one with the band "we're gonna rock rock rock rock!!!"
Logged
Rev. Powell
Global Moderator
B-Movie Kraken
****

Karma: 3100
Posts: 26772


Click on that globe for 366 Weird Movies


WWW
« Reply #7 on: September 17, 2008, 10:35:29 AM »

Somewhere in my collection of closeout VHS obscurities, I've got this twisted little gem "In Trouble"
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0067189/

Hardly a Christian flick, it employs pro-choice propaganda as an excuse for porn, with a young Sybil Danning in a pair of bit parts as it's main draw.


"Sybil Danning" and "a pair of bit parts" are two phrases I never thought I'd hear in the same sentence.

Logged

I'll take you places the hand of man has not yet set foot...
lester1/2jr
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 1109
Posts: 12271



WWW
« Reply #8 on: September 17, 2008, 10:45:19 AM »

they;'re playing with fire aweseome cliche / plot hole ridden early 80's tenn boober
Logged
BTM
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 352
Posts: 2865



« Reply #9 on: September 17, 2008, 11:19:45 AM »

Somewhere in my collection of closeout VHS obscurities, I've got this twisted little gem "In Trouble"
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0067189/

Hardly a Christian flick, it employs pro-choice propaganda as an excuse for porn, with a young Sybil Danning in a pair of bit parts as it's main draw.

The tastelessness of this movie is too much, even for me.


You know, this sound a lot like the Schoolgirl Report series (which was also, IIRC, from Germany.)  Basically it's a series of softcore porn films disguising themselves as educational (!) films for parents on dealing with their teens budding sexuality.  They illustrate different scenarios based on various "true" stories narrated by a gynacealogist.  I'm not sure but I think there was like seven, maybe more, in that series. 

I remember one clip was this mother who comes home and hears nosies coming from the kitchen area.  Inside her daughter and a fellow (boyfriend?) were making out.  Narrator was all like, "Now, Norma could burst right in, disrupt what is going on, and begin yelling at her daughter.  But what would that acocmplish?  Let's see what happens when Norma does something different."

So, the girl goes outside, reenters the house, this time making a LOT more noise before, giving the guy time to leave and her daughter a chance to appear normal.  And the narrator this is much better!  Now if Norma's daughter feels later that she wants to discuess the situation with her mother, she will, without feelings of resentment.

And I'm like, "Yeah, sure lots of parents would be that understanding..."
 
Logged

"Some people mature, some just get older." -Andrew Vachss
BTM
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 352
Posts: 2865



« Reply #10 on: September 17, 2008, 11:52:19 AM »

Not sure I'd call it Christian per se, but I do remember seeing years back an obscure little gem called The Annunciation years ago.  It's an early 80s film from Hungray that's basically about Adam and Eve in the garden and how they're tricked by the devil into taking a bit of the Apple.  After they fall from grace, Adam demands that Satan keep his part of the bargain and give him and Eve the knowledge he promised.

From there, the two jump forward to several different periods in history, with Adam, Eve, and Satan playing different characters each time.  That oddest part about the film is the ENTIRE cast is composed of preteens, with Satan being this blond haired, churbic looking boy who bares a resembalance to a young Malchaly Caulkin.  (Course, I'm sure that's intentional.)  Anyway, the plot summary makes the film sound WAAY more coherent than it is. 

Despite all this though, it's a strangely interesting film, there's a lot visually interesting scenes, like where we see a field of sand that slows starts to move away as several children rise up from the ground as thought either coming back to life or being awaken after a long slumber.  There's even a few quoteable lines in the film, one I remember off hand is Satan, talking about life/civilization in general says, "See it as a comedy, and you'll find yourself amused." 

I like the premise so much, I've often thought about stealing it and doing my own version of the story.  Except I think in my film I'd have Satan be the only character portrayed by an adult....

Logged

"Some people mature, some just get older." -Andrew Vachss
lester1/2jr
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 1109
Posts: 12271



WWW
« Reply #11 on: September 17, 2008, 03:22:41 PM »

Quote

PAMELA'S PRAYER
Reviewed by: Paul S. Taylor
STAFF WRITER

Moral Rating: Excellent! 
Moviemaking Quality:   
Primary Audience: Pre-teen to Adult 
Genre: Drama 
Length: 60 min. 
MPAA Rating: "NR" 



Available on-line
 

Dating and purity are topics of intense interest to teens, young adults, and parents. This video uses a touching dramatic story to get audiences thinking about why God's way is the best. Pamela's Prayer is a story of faith lived, and purity lifted high.

Pamela's Prayer was produced as a very personal project of Christian filmmaker Dave Christiano. It is the story of a widowed Christian father and his Christian daughter Pamela. Under Godly conviction, the father lovingly raises his daughter following Biblical principles -- preparing her for marriage and a Godly life.

Each and every night he intercedes in prayer for her. We watch as Pamela grows from infancy into a 16-year-old and then a beautiful, marriageable woman. During the teen years, her girlfriend has gone out with anyone she wants. But Pamela and her father are following a non-dating path. As a teenager, Pamela sometimes rebels at her father's guidance--using the usual teen arguments--even sneaking out once. This heart-warming story shows the truth of the pain that can be avoided by following a straighter path than the world. In the end, she is overjoyed with the fruit of purity and develops even higher love and respect for her father and his kind, prayerful guidance.

This timely movie does not attempt to discuss all of the issues related to purity, dating or courting. Nor does it specifically mention the courtship-like approach that is increasingly popular among Christians today. What it does accomplish is a skillful weaving of Biblical principles, righteous living, and love of family that produces a story that touches the heart and soul. This movie's approach is soft and respectful, rather than fast-paced and flashy. Never pushy or judgmental, the message is presented with kindness and love.

Discussions should flow easily after viewing this video. Youth leaders should be prepared by reading a good book on this subject such as the one written by Christian teen and popular-speaker Joshua Harris, I Kissed Dating Goodbye.

Many will find this movie to be a useful new tool for promoting Godly living among Christian young people. There is certainly a great need for it. I especially recommend Pamela's Prayer for viewing by pre-teens and young teens not yet involved in dating. (The video is available from Eden Communications with a money-back guarantee, so you can preview it for youth groups without risk.)

Year of Release — 1998
Logged
Dave M
Guest
« Reply #12 on: September 17, 2008, 09:35:21 PM »

I pity the fool ! Judgement http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0257408/ (still can't make links look normal)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0257408/

Not that anyone's neccessarily doing that here, just seizing an opportunity to ride one of my hobby horses here, but wherever movies like If Footmen Tire You come up online, it seems like there's some kind of concensus on the internet that the fall of the Berlin wall somehow proved that it was always stupid and evil to believe that the Soviets were a real military threat.

Still can't believe I'm the first to link to one of those Mr. T movies, I'm busting.
Logged
inframan
Bad Movie Lover
***

Karma: 19
Posts: 225



« Reply #13 on: September 18, 2008, 09:41:58 AM »

Blood Freak is the only one I've seen, Hershel Gordon Lewis tribute and a pro bible/christian movie, wierd stuff
Logged
Dave M
Guest
« Reply #14 on: September 18, 2008, 04:10:34 PM »

I'm going to try one more time to put up the youtube trailer to that Mr T movie, if this dosen't work I should just accept that I'm cursed:

Small | Large
Logged
Pages: [1] 2
Badmovies.org Forum  |  Movies  |  Bad Movies  |  Bizarro Christian Exploitation Films « previous next »
    Jump to:  


    RSS Feed Subscribe Subscribe by RSS
    Email Subscribe Subscribe by Email


    Popular Articles
    How To Find A Bad Movie

    The Champions of Justice

    Plan 9 from Outer Space

    Manos, The Hands of Fate

    Podcast: Todd the Convenience Store Clerk

    Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!

    Dragonball: The Magic Begins

    Cool As Ice

    The Educational Archives: Driver's Ed

    Godzilla vs. Monster Zero

    Do you have a zombie plan?

    FROM THE BADMOVIES.ORG ARCHIVES
    ImageThe Giant Claw - Slime drop

    Earth is visited by a GIANT ANTIMATTER SPACE BUZZARD! Gawk at the amazingly bad bird puppet, or chuckle over the silly dialog. This is one of the greatest b-movies ever made.

    Lesson Learned:
    • Osmosis: os·mo·sis (oz-mo'sis, os-) n., 1. When a bird eats something.

    Subscribe to Badmovies.org and get updates by email:

    HOME B-Movie Reviews Reader Reviews Forum Interviews TV Shows Advertising Information Sideshows Links Contact

    Badmovies.org is owned and operated by Andrew Borntreger. All original content is © 1998 - 2014 by its respective author(s). Image, video, and audio files are used in accordance with the Fair Use Law, and are property of the film copyright holders. You may freely link to any page (.html or .php) on this website, but reproduction in any other form must be authorized by the copyright holder.