Create A Weird Sport

[Ash]

Time to put your thinking caps on and use your imagination.
Try to come up with a truly weird and obscure sport.  It can be anything as long as it's competitive and you score points.

I came up with one that could take place in the Bathroom Olympics. 
It's called the Speed Dump and it basically boils down to who can take the fastest dump.  Each contestant has a scorekeeper with a stopwatch standing in front of them as they try to pinch the ultimate loaf in record time.  The pressure is on as a crowd of onlookers cheers them on.
First place winner takes home the coveted Golden Toilet Paper Roll.  



The next sport would be plasma donation and I would call it the Plasmalympics.
Each competitor sets in their chair, has the needle inserted, and in a no holds barred contest, they try to pump out the fastest plasma donation.  You'll see enendurable pain on the faces of these people as they pump and squeeze their fists to fill the plasma bag as fast as humanly possible!
Scorekeepers with stopwatches aleo make an appearance in this sport and the first place winner receives the prized Gold Needle and a gift certificate to the Sizzler.  

How about you?
What obscure weird sport can you come up with?

[Psycho Circus]

"Burn Baby, Burn!"

The throwing of new born babies through hoops of barbed wire whilst on fire. The first man or woman to "dunk" a certain amout of babies wins, gets put out and has to live with these terrible acts for the rest of their life, aided by a million $  . The loser burns to death.



I'm sick 

[ghouck]

When I drive a fishing boat for the Army, we would get three boats, 2 of them 25' Boston Whalers with 200hp Johnsons, and the other a 27' sea-sport with twin 4 cylinder Pentas. We'd put 2 people on each boat, and the Sea Sport woul also have a bunch of round Bumper/Bouys. We'd take off as fast as they'd go with the Seasport in the lead, and the second person on the Sea Sport would start booting the Bouys off one at a time. The Whalers would follow and the second person on those would try, at high speed, to snag then with a gaff hook. Whichever team gets the most into their boat wins. Keep in mind this is in 40 degree water, on the ocean, 3 foot swells were STANDARD, the prop was out of the water about a quarter of the time. Boats are banging into each other, gaffhooks flying everywhere, people getting bounced around, sometimes a gaffer from each boat were geting a bite on the same bouy and just about ripping each other out of the boat. Once we played for a while, the bouys would get holes in them and still float, but get a bunch of water in them which makes it hard to pull them in. Sometimes the driver would have his own gaffhook so BOTH were snagging bouys, , with the nobody at the helm temproarily. This was the most dangerous 'sport' I've even witnessed. Best of all, it was your tax dollars paying for it. Boats, bouys, fuel and all. Since we were G.I.s, even the medical was picked up by the taxpayers. Good times. .

[Rev. Powell]

Where's Scott/Conan/Wolfgang these days?  As I remember he actually created a new sport, and put up youtube clips showing how it's played.

[Trevor]

  Ash, I've got a good one:

VOMIT ON LUKE WATSON

Just FYI, Luke Watson is a Springbok rugby player who has more so-called political struggle connections than rugby talent and was quoted as saying that he "wanted to vomit on the Springbok ruby jersey" ~ the jersey of the current World Cup Champions. 

All contestants eat as much yucky food as they can, Watson sits on the ground and we all (yes, I will be a contestant) proceed to projectile vomit on him. The one who covers Watson with more honk than the rest wins. 

[schmendrik]

Office-chair ski jump: Contestants sit in office swivel chairs and go down a ski jump ramp, leaping over a lake filled with sharks (with laser beams). No worries about a hard landing on the ground as the lake is made wide enough that everyone does a water landing.

Score is based on distance and survival time.

[ghouck]

Does the doorknob/fart game qualify as a sport?