Copyright Company and Date: 1990 Anchor Bay/Studio Canal
Submitted by Fausto
Yanka: Sexy Circus performer who discovers she has been impregnated with a monster from hell. Goes on a killing spree in search of blood and nooky.
Lohman: Circus owner and Yanka’s sadistic husband, often abuses her and picks fights with his employees. Stabbed to death…twice.
Truck Driver: Offers rides to attractive young women, but kicks them to the curb when he finds something better. Just don’t ask for his life story.
Richard: Promiscuous nerd who gets it on with Yanka. Stabbed to death.
Rosette: Richard’s girlfriend. Jealous but slightly naive frump who tries to put an end to her hubby’s sexual escapades.
Alice: Kindhearted older woman who rescues Yanka off the street and tells her about the joys of motherhood. Strangled to death with a telephone cord.
The Creature: Turdlike parasite that evolves inside the wombs of human females and craves fresh blood. Telepathically communicates with its host via a Skeletor-esque voice.
All men are pigs.
Truck drivers are inclined to tell you more about themselves than you ever wanted to know.
If you’re in mid-coitus with a pregnant woman and you feel something grabbing onto your genitals, it’s a bad sign.
Seeing a woman covered in blood is not necessarily something to be questioned.
Walking onto a soccer bus is an open invitation to gang rape.
In France, receding hairlines are a national epidemic.
Acts of charity are highly overrated.
STUFF TO WATCH FOR
7 mins – “The Sumatran Rat-Monkey we ordered got shipped to New Zealand by mistake, so we’ll just have to make do with this instead.”
12 mins – RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST THE MAIN CHARACTER!
16 mins – Now this is just wrong…
22 mins – RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST AN A-HOLE!
23 mins – RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT!
23 mins – RANDOM GRATUITOUS BEAVER SHOT!
33 mins – That’s cold.
34 mins – Hey, look! It’s a poster for the sequel!
48 mins – This is why you should always wear a condom.
53 mins – That guy looks like Margaret from Liquid Sky.
55 mins – RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST A JOGGER!
81 mins – This guy isn’t even slightly freaked out by her appearance?
The Creature: “Yanka…I need the blood of the man that you killed…I need it so I can grow.”
Truck Driver: “My father was a Portuguese immigrant, a hairdresser…for men, of course. Then Mr. Romeo, the hairdresser for women, made up with me. I was sixteen, with an ass plugged for two generations. Bad luck! The Romeos were gay by family tradition. Hey, are you okay? …I loved it, Romeo, Paul and the others! Then I couldn’t take it anymore. My ass was hurting bad! So I took off with Rosie after her transsexual surgery. We had fun. After that I went into the military. I got my driver’s license to drive big trucks. You know, the road. The freedom, looking far ahead…so what’s your story?”
Richard: “There are very few women who have beauty inside and beauty outside…understand?”
The Creature: “Yes, I do.”
Richard: “Negative and positive…opposites…yin and yang?”
The Creature: “He’s starting to loose me.”
Richard: “Like day and night…”
The Creature: “Do we have to listen to this bull$#!& ?”
Yanka: “This what?”
The Creature: “He looks good. Follow him and kill him.”
Yanka: “Say please.”
The Creature: “All right. Follow him and kill him, please.”
We all remember Aylmer, the talking turd monster from Frank Hentenlotter’s Brain Damage. A parasite that sings, dances, and eats human brains is, after all, a bit hard to forget. Guess what? It turns out he had a distant relative. Unlike our blue friend, however, this phallic little creep lives up to his description by hitching a ride in the uteri of unsuspecting women.
Rather, one woman in particular. Yanka presumably works as a lion tamer’s assistant in her husband’s circus. Said husband, Lohman, happens to be a jealous, domineering prick. He must not be that great in the sack, either, because Yanka has a habit of flirting with (and eventually throwing herself at) any man who wanders along, including the guy in charge of delivering a new tiger shipped from Africa (don’t get too attached to the tiger, because he’s having stomach problems). Sometime during the night, Lohman finds his new acquisition torn open from the inside out (See?). Believing the grisly mutilation to be the work of a wild animal, the circus employees go to hunt down the guilty party. Meanwhile, something long and slimy finds its way into Yanka’s bedroom, and inserts itself between her legs.
A few days later, Yanka discovers that she’s pregnant. Realizing that Lohman might one day abuse the child, she decides to pack up and run away. A month passes. Lohman tracks Yanka to a run down apartment, where he begs her to return to him. Instead, she goes nuts and stabs him with a kitchen knife. She is reluctant to kill him, but something threatens her under penalty of pain. She finally finishes the job, then drinks his blood. It turns out the blood is for the “baby”, who, through some sort of telepathy, orders Yanka to kill so it can grow. Having missed its chance at evolution centuries before, the Creature seeks to be born of a human woman so that it might return to the sea and continue its growth. From there on, Yanka and child go on a killing spree, seducing luckless men into being monster chow. Isn’t motherhood a blessing?
What I love about this movie is that it never tries to take itself seriously. Unlike other films in the killer baby genre (The Unborn, Its Alive, etc), it never aspires to be anything more than it is – a slightly disturbing, humorous but overall entertaining splatter fest.