Things You Learn From Having Sons...

[BTM]

Years ago I watched my cousin's little boy for her and one thing I learned from him is that in a three-year-old's universe, one of those circular racks of jeans in a department store can double as a urinal. 

Wow!  Did the store catch him at that, or did you find out about it first and make a beeline for the exit?

[Patient7]

My Uncle Learned from my 7-year old cousin that by kicking a jean rack from the bottom (it's in a shelf fashion, not a circular rack) the rack will break and pile on top of the 7-year old underneath it.

[ER]

Wow!  Did the store catch him at that, or did you find out about it first and make a beeline for the exit?

Ha, BTM, I just stood there in shock while time went in slow motion and then after a second I saw the damage was just to the floor, not the actual clothes, so I shoved everything on the rack away from it, scooped him up and fled! Oh, man. Apparently he went through a stage of wizzing in store aisles for a while, too. So funny now. Wasn't then. When he was  baby he also "spat up" in my hair at a restaurant. lol He was a handful.

[ghouck]

When I was stationed in Texas, and my son was 2 or so, He was standing at the door with a neighbor girl of about the same age. I heard him say "Look what I got". I figured it was a toy or something, , ,nope, , just showing her his weemer.

When he was little he always got real hot and started sweating when he slept, so often when I would check on him at night, he would be sweating so bad I'd take his PJ top off of him. When he was 5 or 6 he told me, with TOTAL conviction, that his pajamas were MAGIC, because they would take off on their own. He was genuinely surprised when I explained what was happening, to a point of not believing me.

When he was two, I was sleeping on the couch, and he decided to see what was up my nose. He had these skinny, long fingers, with thin, sharp fingernails, one of which he shoved as far up my nose as is possible. I swear it felt like he jabbed the back of my eyeball, and my nose bled for a few days.

[BTM]

When he was two, I was sleeping on the couch, and he decided to see what was up my nose. He had these skinny, long fingers, with thin, sharp fingernails, one of which he shoved as far up my nose as is possible. I swear it felt like he jabbed the back of my eyeball, and my nose bled for a few days.

Wow... I guess that's the craziest part about raising kids, you never know WHAT they're going to think of doing, so you can't do a "Don't do that!" lecture beforehand, because they can think of up some BIZARRE stuff that seems perfectly natural to them...

[BTM]

Ahh... BACHELORHOOD!!!

Ahhhh... dying alone!