Yes, I made a post a few months ago asking you guys if you'd like to see me do a review of a certain film starring Lori Petty and Naomi Watts. Get ready, badmoviephiles.
"When the little blue bird who has never said a word starts to sing. When the little blue bell at the bottom of the dell starts to ring. When the little blue clerk in the middle of his work starts to tune to the moon up above. It is nature that is all that is telling us to fall in love. And that's why birds do it, bees do it. Even educated fleas do it. Lets do it, lets fall in love. They've got plans against their wish do it. Even amazing kind of fish do it. Lets do it, lets fall in love. I've heard that lizards and frogs do it lyin on a log. They say that roosters do it with a duelin cock!"
Yup, Tank Girl!!!! One of my favorite flicks of the 90s. Tank Girl was in my opinion a very good film. Based on the cult comic of the same name. But even it had its share of reality flaws.
Comet Hits the Earth In the story, it is claimed that much of the Earth's water was lost when a comet hit. Umm, if a comet really hit the Earth, a lot more would be lost than just the water. Remember Comet Schumaker-Levy 9? Remember what happened when that comet broke apart and hit Jupiter? Did you see those massive mushroom clouds when the fragments hit? Those mushroom clouds were more than big enough to engulf the Earth. So if a comet hit the Earth, there'd be no more Earth.
Kessler Yes Tank Girl's main antagonist, Kessler. In a future world like that, you'd expect there to be a checks and balance system to keep an evil and insane man like that from rising to power. Not only does he rule that world, but he controls all the water and charges hefty fees for it. You'd think some people would find his behavior completely unaccepatable and mount and offensive intended to remove him from power. But no one does this until out heroine comes along. Another implausibility about Kessler is the fact he survived a ripper attack in such terrible condition then a doctor from China comes long to cybernetically restore him by first cutting off his head. Where exactly is his brain put?
Rippers Now these I find interesting, creatures which are a mix of human, dog and kangaroo. Just how were they created? Did someone inject them with a virus that modifies their genes to give them the qualities of all these animals? Or are they clones? What I find funny is one part where Tank Girl and Jet Girl are spying from them and they say they need something better to see. So Tank Girl shoves the camera down her pants and the rippers are all smiling and hooting at what they see on the monitor. They find normal human females attractive? Strange...
Those water extractors You remember the part where Kessler is lying on that bed in very bad shape after the ripper attack and the doctor says she can do very little to help him then Kessler's assitant brings in a Chinese doctor who says he can do much more. So the assistant stabs the first doctor in the back with a device which extracts all the water from her body. Just how does that thing work? Are we to believe it can not only drain the blood, but also filter out all the proteins, salts, organic compounds and blood cells so all that is left is water? C'mon, even our best filters don't work that well and they wouldn't fit in a device that small. The only way I figure it works is with nanotechnology. But why isn't Nanotechnology applied elsewhere?
I look forward to hearing your arguments. BEER FOR EVERYONE!!!
