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September 03, 2015, 03:58:17 AM
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Rev. Powell
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« Reply #9150 on: August 30, 2015, 10:19:32 AM »

SCHIZOPOLIS (1996): A functionary sweats out writing a speech for an L. Ron Hubbard-type cult leader, while his wife has an affair with his exact double, a successful dentist with a womanizing problem; this loose story is constantly interrupted by absurd Pythonesque comedy skits, conversations carried entirely in nonsense ("Nose army. Beef diaper?"), a pantsless lunatic chased by men in white coats, and so on. A successful experiment in postmodern wackiness from Steven Soderbergh, a harbinger of Quentin Depieux's meta-comedies the kind of thing Jacques Derrida might have written if he had a sense of humor. 4/5.
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"The basic plot is that Donna Speir and Hope Marie Carlton, the two undercover DEA agent Playboy Playmates from the last movie, are still running around in jungle shorts, cowboy boots and spaghetti strap T-shirts, firing their machine guns at drug smugglers, Filipino communist guerrillas, and corrupt federal agents while their two friends, Lisa London and Miss May 1984 Patty Duffek, lounge around the pool a lot and talk on speaker phones that look like fax machines."-Joe Bob on SAVAGE BEACH
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« Reply #9151 on: August 30, 2015, 11:12:15 AM »

Salon Kitty - This was stupid. The lead actress is very pretty and frequently nude that's about the only selling point. It's nice when a movie can be entertaining AND have beautiful nude women but realistically it's 2015 and you can get porn rather easily. Not really worth sitting through a crappy movie to see. The nudity in, say, Screwballs adds to the insanity and is an important part of the overall presentation, but this is def a case where you would watch it just for that.

The Nazis decide to replace all the different foreign women in a whorehouse with Aryan women. They have some hard R stuff going on there and people are constantly drinking champagne. Eventually some sort of drama occurs between the woman and a big time Nazi guy and some vague political statements are made. None of this brings the era to life or gives you much to think about. The overall story and the sets and so forth themselves aren't bad, but it's not brought together in a very exciting or interesting way. I think at the time it was a novelty to have this sort of subject matter so they are just patting themselves on the back about that.

This is the Blue Underground edition which apparently contains stuff that wasn't in the original American release so it's like 2+ hours long.

Bottom Line: this should have been the Nazi version of Farewell Uncle Tom but it's more like a bigger budget pretty nondescript Something Weird release. That's not what you want from a Nazi themed exploitation movie I don't think.

2/5



« Last Edit: August 30, 2015, 02:46:42 PM by lester1/2jr » Logged

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« Reply #9152 on: August 30, 2015, 04:28:35 PM »

"Crowley" aka "Chemical Wedding" (2008)

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Bruce Dickinson of Iron Maiden fame produced and co-wrote this oddball horror concoction, in which an experiment gone wrong results in the spirit of the infamous occultist Aleister Crowley possessing the body of a modern-day British professor. Naturally ol' Al wastes no time in picking up where he left off on his strange magick rituals, many of which, thankfully require attractive naked women and lots of blood.

The movie's a little over complicated and feels like it's about fifteen minutes too long, but there was so much weirdness and gratuitious nudity goin' on that I was never bored. "Crowley" may not be particularly GOOD but it's certainly an interesting curiosity, especially for Iron Maiden fans.
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« Reply #9153 on: August 30, 2015, 05:37:51 PM »

The Sandlot (1993): Scotty Smalls (Tom Guiry) is the awkward new kid in town who is surprised when young baseball prodigy Benny (Mike Vitar) adds him to his team of young baseball players who spend most of their days playing baseball when not getting into misadventures involving rival baseball teams, a sexy lifeguard named Wendy Peppercorn, and the biggest pickle of all when a baseball signed by the Great Bambino ends up in the paws of the legendary Beast, a rumored gigantic monster dog that lives next door.

This was a really enjoyable coming of age type movie mostly about young friends getting together to play baseball and get into other kid misadventures. The young cast is really good in their roles and this film should in time come to be regarded as a classic family film. Dennis Leary plays somewhat awkward stepdad Bill when Karen Allen plays Scotty's mom. Look out as well for James Earl Jones in a memorable bit role. There are some parts that do stretch credibility and seem exaggerated in that way kids sometimes exaggerate events that happen to them but I felt it was OK for this movie. The FX with regards to the Beast isnít always convincing either but I did enjoy the use of puppetry to achieve them. I was pleasantly surprised by how good this one really is. **** out of ***** stars.

Simon Birch (1998): Young Simon Birch (Ian Michael Smith) was born smaller than everyone else (he has stunted growth) but he doesn't let that stop him from believing that God has an important and big purpose for him. We watch the inspirational story of Simon unfold through events involving him and his best friend Joe Wenteworth (Joseph Mazzello) and how their friendship gets put to the test through a series of unfortunate events.

This was a touching film about friendship but it also tackles challenging issues such as death, mourning, loss, a purpose in life, God, heroism, bravery, and more. I suspect this one will make some people shed tears. Surprisingly moving little story that by adding a few comic misadventures makes the cast more endearing to the viewer. Not always convincing in its presentation though but nevertheless an enjoyable film. Good supporting performances from Oliver Platt, Ashley Judd, David Strathairn, and Jan Hooks definitely help.  ***1/2 out of ***** stars.

After Earth (2013): In the future, humanity has so devastated the planet that we've been forced to move to the stars and leave Earth behind. There humanity found itself facing a new threat, a monster species named the Ursa specifically designed by alien enemies to hunt humans tracking us through the pheromones we excrete through fear. However certain people have the ability to ghost or show no fear during which they become invisible to the Ursa. Our story focuses on Kitai (Jaden Smith), the son of a very successful ranger named Cypher Raige (Will Smith) who has this ghost ability. We learn of his great desire to please his strict, demanding father who seems to blame Kitai for something in the past. In hopes of helping and bonding with his struggling son, Cypher takes Kitai on his next mission. However an unexpected asteroid storm causes their spaceship to veer off course and they find themselves crashed on humanity's old home - Earth. Earth now however is filled with dangerous critters capable of killing humans easily and even worse a captured Ursa also on board their ship may well have escaped. Now with Cypher having a broken leg, it's up to young Kitai to make the dangerous trek to the tail of their crashed ship several days journey away in hopes of triggering an emergency beacon.

I went into this with very low expectations (given all the negative reaction it received upon release) and I was somewhat surprised. I found this to be a somewhat enjoyable little sci-fi adventure film. Is it anything truly groundbreaking or earth-shaking. No. Is the acting the best I've ever seen. Hell no. Still I enjoyed the basic sci-fi premise even if I did have to seriously suspend my disbelief for some scenes. It's your basic coming of age story but also it is trying to tell of story of having to live in the shadow of an highly regarded father. I think it actually works at times. I was surprised at Will Smith's much more serious tone here and I admit I missed some of the one-liners and jokes common in his previous sci-fi action hero work but given what happened to the characters and their family, the more subdued approach made sense. I was also a bit disappointed with the Ursa which I never thought of as anything other than a CGI critter but it wasn't any worse than most of its type we get in new movies nowadays. I also would have liked to have seen more Earth based critter challenges. Overall though, I did enjoy this sci-fi adventure film from director M. Night Shyamalan. It's not the best of its type but it's not the worst either. ***1/4 out of ***** stars.

Closed Circuit (2013): Hired to defend a man accused of being a major part of a terrorist cell involved in the bombing of a London borough, a pair of defense lawyers stumble upon a conspiracy involving a major cover-up by the British secret service - MI5 and suddenly find their very lives threatened and endangered, seemingly anything to prevent the real truth from coming out.

This comes across like a chilling tale of paranoia and makes one wonder, just how much might be covered up and hidden even in our societies by those in power, those in charge. What is they really are watching you and recording your every move? Cameras are everywhere and there's really nowhere to run and hide anymore. What happens if our governments and their agencies are in fact just as corrupt as some of us already fear? And to what lengths would some be willing to go to in order to prevent the public from knowing the real story. Entertaining and gripping suspense thriller that has a certain bite going for it right up to near the end where it falls apart a bit. Good performances from leads Eric Bana and Rebecca Hall help keep things moving. There's a certain aloof British coldness to the proceedings here too at times which maybe helps or hinders depending on your point of view. ***1/4 out of ***** stars.
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« Reply #9154 on: August 31, 2015, 12:35:56 AM »

Commando: Director's Cut (1985) (Blu-ray)

We know the drill: Arnie's some retired special secret force member forced to do a dirty job cause his daughter is kidnapped. The rest is history.
Continuity errors and gaps in logic always seem more obvious with each viewing, with my favorite being Rae Dawn Chong and Arnie wrapping their car around a pole during a high speed chase. In real life the impact would have killed them instantly or ejected both through the windshield  Buggedout The unrated Director's Cut contains minimal extra footage of blood & gore. 4.5/5

Solarbabies (1986) (Blu-ray)

Small group of young teenagers engaged in tough but illegal rollerskating games during post-apocalyptic times are trying to dodge evil government rulership and find a magical ball in a dried out wasteland of no hope.
Solarbabies proves that not everything made in the 1980s was pure entertainment gold. Though this family friendly but rude sci-fi adventure is still disjointed enough to warrant a cult following. Image quality of the German Blu-ray is somewhat a mixed bag (and Region B locked) but it still looks good enough. 3/5

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« Reply #9155 on: August 31, 2015, 06:56:15 AM »

The Haunted Sea (1997) - watched this again, it's become a cheesy favorite of mine. Some people on a ship discover another ship adrift at sea; some folks are sent over and find it seemingly abandoned, but harboring a treasure of Inca gold, which turns one guy into a rather comical rubber-suited dinosaur guy. Both of the lead actresses are hot, with one of them having numerous flashbacks to Inca times where she's always topless. Good characters, plot moves along well enough, high cheese quotient. 4/5. 
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« Reply #9156 on: August 31, 2015, 07:16:45 AM »

The only recent viewing I had was spying on my neighbors who were having quite a wild party.  Wink
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« Reply #9157 on: August 31, 2015, 08:40:15 AM »

TERROR IN THE JUNGLE (1967): The only survivor of a crash in the Amazonian jungle is a little blond boy who can't act. Plays like an incompetent made-for-TV disaster movie, although you have to love the bit where they accidentally scuttle the nun. 1.5/5
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"The basic plot is that Donna Speir and Hope Marie Carlton, the two undercover DEA agent Playboy Playmates from the last movie, are still running around in jungle shorts, cowboy boots and spaghetti strap T-shirts, firing their machine guns at drug smugglers, Filipino communist guerrillas, and corrupt federal agents while their two friends, Lisa London and Miss May 1984 Patty Duffek, lounge around the pool a lot and talk on speaker phones that look like fax machines."-Joe Bob on SAVAGE BEACH
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« Reply #9158 on: September 01, 2015, 06:48:45 AM »

Horrid (2009) - zomcom about some kids in Wisconsin drinking beer at a cabin as the zombie infection spreads. I guess the banter between the guys was mildly amusing and there was a girl with pink hair who was cute and more than willing to take her top off. But it was slow moving and like I said, only mildly amusing. 2.5/5.

Saturn 3 (1980) - Kirk Douglas and Farrah Fawcett are living at a research station on one of the moons of Saturn, and then some evil dude shows up with his evil robot and ruins their little paradise. This gets better with repeat viewings as you're no longer expecting to see a good movie, but just to see Farrah at her most adorably cute. Looks nice in HD. 3.5/5.

« Last Edit: September 01, 2015, 07:01:24 AM by Jack » Logged

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« Reply #9159 on: September 01, 2015, 07:42:47 AM »

Volcanosaur Ok, I didn't pay 100% attention to this movie but I certainly didn't see any volcano (it did have a mountain though), and no dinosaur. Found out that it was also released under the title Behemoth. Anyway, a creature that reminded me a bit of the Thing's final form in the John Carpenter film is living inside a mountain (possibly with tentacles wrapped around the world below ground) is starting to wake up. A crazy old man knows exactly what is happening, but who ever believes the crazy old man in movies? Despite the size of the thing, it is killed off by a single shot from a man portable missile launcher (ok, it does go down its throat, but come on this thing is massive). Funnily enough, if it had been killed off with a flare gun I'd have accepted that no problem, but a missile? No way.

Just before I watched this film, I did watch the whole of The Star Wars Xmas Special. After seeing that for the first time, this felt like it should have been awarded an oscar.
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« Reply #9160 on: September 01, 2015, 12:17:28 PM »

Double Hour (2009) - who doesn't love a thriller? who doesn't like seeing Michael Douglas go around trying to figure out some sort of wool being pulled over his eyes by a scheming woman and someone gets killed and you have to figure it out and so forth. The main problem with these is logic. All the crew in Flightplan had to do was call the airport type issues.

The plot is a guy meets a girl at speed dating. They hit it off and start dating. One day, the house he is hired to guard (he's an ex cop) gets robbed and all this stuff starts happening.

In terms of the acting and direction and so forth this is pretty darn good movie. If you went to see it at a stereotypical indy movie theater you probably would feel you got your moneys worth but it's not quiiiite there. it's good, but just a little too hard to fathom to be very good/ great. If you don't think about it, it's  brilliant so in a way it's great, but if you read the fine print so to speak the rating climbs down slowly but surely.

Also, in one of the love scenes the guy is wearing a thong! Italy, we need have a little talk this is not acceptable

3.75 /5
« Last Edit: September 01, 2015, 12:41:27 PM by lester1/2jr » Logged

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« Reply #9161 on: September 01, 2015, 10:03:09 PM »

This afternoon I watched INTO THE GRIZZLY MAZE, a very well done little film about a killer bear running loose in a remote Pacific Northwest forest.  Two brothers long estranged, one an ex-con and one a sheriff's deputy, are trying to get out of this remote stretch of woods (the titular maze) with the deputy's wife and a female doctor, both of whom are injured.  A professional bear hunter, played by Billy Bob Thornton, is stalking the giant beast as it stalks them.  Great little woodland thriller!
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« Reply #9162 on: September 02, 2015, 02:39:37 AM »

Cinderella Made the mistake of buying the Disney live action remake and last night she decided since I'd bought a new 40" TV the night before, that this should be the first movie we watched together on it.

Now normally when me and Kristi sit down to watch a movie together on the couch is that she cuddles up against me, and about 10 minutes later falls asleep on me, thus having the double effect of trapping me and giving me no chance of escaping watching what ever she has picked to watch. Tonight I prepared in advance with a copy of Troll Hunter by Guillermo del Toro close to hand so I could catch up with my reading a bit when the inevitable happened.

The film itself starts out pretty slowly, continues on that way for quite a while and not in an enjoyable way either. Since pretty much everyone knows this story already I didn't feel quite this amount of time was required to set up the step mother as being wicked and the step sisters as being stupid & vain. I think 'turgid', is the best word that sprung to mind for the first half of this. Eventually though things do get moving. I am not sure how long it took to get moving, or even what the running time was. It could have been 60 minutes or 3 hours, but it felt like a long, long time. Several times we asked each other if we should just put it off, but for some reason (possibly because hey, we bought this thing, we are damn well going to watch it all the way through). Anyway, once things do get moving the film does get a lot better. For me in the second half it reached the dizzying heights of just being bad (which was a big improvement). Kristi reckoned the second half was actually an ok movie. I did find it better than Into The Woods which has the distinction of being only the second film I have fallen asleep to while watching in the cinema.

Final conclussion, one for Disney completists only. could have been improved by having less running time going over ground we already knew and possibly putting that time into something a bit different. Maybe having the Grand Duke plotting more or something? Malificent this certainly isn't.

And since Kristi didn't fall asleep I didn't get any more of my book read either.
« Last Edit: September 02, 2015, 02:48:22 AM by Dark Alex » Logged

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« Reply #9163 on: September 02, 2015, 04:20:08 AM »

Echelon Conspiracy (2009) (Blu-ray)

Some software / computer specialist working worldwide for clients is send a brand new super-high tech cell phone that isn't even on the market yet. He soon receives life saving voicemail messages (plane he was meant to take crashes) and is told to gamble at a casino in Prague. He makes a fortune, but the FBI and another special secret unit is already on the case. It appears that whoever is sending out those phones to people will eventually kill those people after whatever job they are told to do is done.
Produced by and then rejected by Dark Castle Entertainment / Warner, Echelon Conspiracy was picked up for theatrical distribution by After Dark Films (Lionsgate) and released to home video by Paramount. To give it a more commercial wider release the movie was edited down for a PG-13 rating. Didn't help much, as the film only grossed $600,000 at the box office.
I bought the German Blu-ray which contains the uncensored R-Rated version. I thought the film was quite fun and entertaining and reminded my of Taken (2009) at times, though the movie always gets compared with Eagle Eye (2008) but I haven't seen that one. 4/5
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« Reply #9164 on: September 02, 2015, 06:29:02 AM »

Death Run (1987) - in a post-apocalyptic future there's this evil guy who runs this little village, but a few people escape and then decide to come back later and overthrow him. From beginning to end this was chock-full of incredibly intense and realistic fight scenes, like this one  BounceGiggle

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Our four renegade characters were uninteresting and the plot was just your run-of-the-mill overthrow the evil dude thing. The main babe was pretty hot and dressed in your typically sexy post-apocalyptic gear though, so I guess that's worth a 2.5/5.

The Time Guardian (1987) - in the future there's this city that travels through time, and they're being attacked by these evil robot guys so they have to relocate to Australia in the year 1988. But first they send a two-person scouting party ahead (including Carrie Fisher in a small role). So they fight a few robots with the help of a hot babe they meet and then the city eventually arrives and there's a "big" showdown. This was okay, the characters were okay and the action was okay. The special effects were better or at least more extensive than you might expect from a movie like this. 3/5.
« Last Edit: September 02, 2015, 07:02:27 AM by Jack » Logged

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