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December 18, 2014, 05:40:21 AM
539507 Posts in 40866 Topics by 5156 Members
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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Other Topics  |  Off Topic Discussion  |  joke « previous next »
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Author Topic: joke  (Read 3968 times)
Psycho Circus
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Shake The Faith


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« Reply #15 on: February 09, 2009, 04:37:27 PM »

Why were the bakers hands brown?


...Because he kneaded a poo  BounceGiggle
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ghouck
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Afro-Mullets RULE!


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« Reply #16 on: February 09, 2009, 04:53:50 PM »

Sperm Whales aren't really whales, they're sperm, Chuck Norris's sperm.

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Raw bacon is GREAT! It's like regular bacon, only faster, and it doesn't burn the roof of your mouth!

Happiness is green text in the "Stuff To Watch For" section.

James James: The man so nice, they named him twice.

"Aw man, this thong is chafing my balls" -Lloyd Kaufman in Poultrygeist.

"There's always time for lubricant" -Orlando Jones in Evolution
Doggett
Bustin' makes me feel good !
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I've seen things you people couldn't imagine...


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« Reply #17 on: February 09, 2009, 04:59:01 PM »

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If God exists, why did he make me an atheist? Thats His first mistake.
Saucerman
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Hypnotic, ain't it?


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« Reply #18 on: February 09, 2009, 07:34:46 PM »

So, a serial killer walks into a bar and orders a Bloody Mary.  The bartender makes it for him, he takes a sip, spits it out, and stabs the bartender repeatedly while shouting, "IF I WANTED TOMATO JUICE, I WOULD HAVE ASKED FOR TOMATO JUICE!"
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Doggett
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« Reply #19 on: February 10, 2009, 08:15:27 PM »

Never ask a woman their age...

So, female posters...how much do you weigh ? Wink
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If God exists, why did he make me an atheist? Thats His first mistake.
ds21
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« Reply #20 on: February 11, 2009, 03:48:22 PM »

How are a pickle and mayonaise similar?



































































They both have feathers.

 BounceGiggle BounceGiggle BounceGiggle BounceGiggle

no, you aren't supposed to get it.  That's why it's funny  Lookingup.
 Wink
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I am David
David I am

Making the world a little more random since 1989.
Mr. DS
Master Of Cinematic Bowel Movements
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Get this thread cleaned up or YOU'RE FIRED!!!


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« Reply #21 on: February 11, 2009, 07:20:06 PM »

Chuck Norris doesn't do push ups...he pushes the earth down. 
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DarkSider's Realm
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"You think the honey badger cares?  It doesn't give a sh*t."  Randall
ghouck
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Afro-Mullets RULE!


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« Reply #22 on: February 12, 2009, 05:44:22 PM »

Mike Tyson has a girly voice because he always dreamed of being Chuck Norris's wife.
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Raw bacon is GREAT! It's like regular bacon, only faster, and it doesn't burn the roof of your mouth!

Happiness is green text in the "Stuff To Watch For" section.

James James: The man so nice, they named him twice.

"Aw man, this thong is chafing my balls" -Lloyd Kaufman in Poultrygeist.

"There's always time for lubricant" -Orlando Jones in Evolution
Mr. DS
Master Of Cinematic Bowel Movements
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Get this thread cleaned up or YOU'RE FIRED!!!


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« Reply #23 on: February 12, 2009, 06:47:08 PM »

Some people wear Superman pajamas, Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
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DarkSider's Realm
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"You think the honey badger cares?  It doesn't give a sh*t."  Randall
Saucerman
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Hypnotic, ain't it?


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« Reply #24 on: February 12, 2009, 07:27:23 PM »

Downtown, there's this bar, and this bar is named "Hell."  It has a "Dante's Inferno" theme to the decor.  One day, a priest, a rabbi, and Jason Vorhees walk into this bar called Hell. 

The priest goes up to the bartender and says, "Bartender, if you give me a free drink, I will put a blessing on your bar that will double your business."  And the bartender shrugs, gives the priest a free drink, and the priest blesses the bar.  Immediately, three more people walk in. 

The rabbi says, "That's nothing! Bartender, if you give me a free drink, I will put a blessing on your bar that will double your business again."  And the bartender shrugs, gives the rabbi a free drink, and the rabbi blesses the bar.  Immediately, six more people walk in. 

The bartender turns to Jason and says, "How about you? What will you give me for a free drink?"

Jason mulls this over for a moment, and then decapitates the bartender, sets the bar on fire, and walks out. 





The next day, newspaper headlines read, "PRIEST, RABBI, SEVERAL OTHERS BURN IN HELL."
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zombie #1
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Oookaay...


« Reply #25 on: February 12, 2009, 10:09:24 PM »

what's red and invisible?

no tomatoes
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"A whale's throat and blow hole are not connected, therefore escape is impossible.  "
RCMerchant
Bela
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"Charlie,we're in HELL!"-"yeah,ain't it groovy?!"


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« Reply #26 on: February 12, 2009, 10:19:05 PM »

Some kid is playing his drums-
Mom: If you don't quit bangin' on them drums-I'll go CRAZY!
Kid: Too late-I quit an hour ago!  BounceGiggle
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\"Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!\" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)


Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?"
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."





http://www.tumblr.com/dashboard
http://www.tumblr.com/dashboard
http://rcmerchant.tumblr.com/
Paquita
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« Reply #27 on: February 13, 2009, 07:50:27 AM »

A pirate walks into a bar with a ship steering wheel on his pants...
The bartender asks "Hey, why you gotta steering wheel on your pants?"
And the pirate says.."Arrr! It's drivin' me nuts!"
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Doggett
Bustin' makes me feel good !
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I've seen things you people couldn't imagine...


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« Reply #28 on: February 13, 2009, 09:47:52 AM »

Some kid is playing his drums-
Mom: If you don't quit bangin' on them drums-I'll go CRAZY!
Kid: Too late-I quit an hour ago!  BounceGiggle

 BounceGiggle BounceGiggle BounceGiggle

That's a good 'n
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If God exists, why did he make me an atheist? Thats His first mistake.
ER
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« Reply #29 on: February 13, 2009, 01:48:31 PM »

After twenty-five years of stress in an office, Tom bought land in a remote corner of Alaska and retired as far from other people as possible. At first this was great but gradually being alone did get to him.

Six months into retirement, there was a pounding knock at Tom’s door. He rushed over and there stood a massive, bushy-bearded stranger dressed in buckskin. “Howdy,” said the big man, “the name’s Lars, and I live ten miles downriver from you. I’m havin’ a party Friday night, and figured I’d stop over to invite you.”

“Man, that sounds great!” Tom told Lars. “After half a year up here count me in!”

“All right,” Lars agreed, “but I gotta warn you, Alaskan parties are wilder than the ones you might be used to. There’s sure to be a powerful lot of hard drinkin’.”

“Not a problem,” Tom assured him, “I can drink with the best of them.”

“Well,” Lars added, “after all that drinkin’ there’s likely to be some fightin’ too.”

“I can get along with anybody,” Tom promised. “I should be OK.”

“Fine, but I better warn you of one last thing. There’s gonna be lots of wild sex.”

“Wow!” Tom exclaimed. “Then I’ll be there for sure! What should I wear?”

“Don’t much matter,” Lars answered as he stomped back toward his pack mule, “it’s just gonna be the two of us.”
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Seeking Tir a 'nOg since 1978.
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