Questions You Get Tired Of Hearing

[Menaaard!!!]

"Why don't you get a .45 instead of a 9mm?"

Because I don't want a .45.  9mm kills you just as dead (Yes, it does.  Deal with it!) and the 9mm pistol I carry is a little smaller, lighter, and holds four more shots than the .45 version.

You should really stop holding up people; it's a bad habit that's going to get you into trouble.

[Menaaard!!!]

When I used to work in retail...

...If they were cute or nice, I usually responded with "I have a copy at home, but it'll cost you $200."

The second line explains the first line.

[CaptnTripps]

anything that starts with... Have you seen my....

[ghouck]

". . .Will the Defendant please rise?. . ."

BUT, , they always act surprised when I answer "NO"

[ds21]

"Please give me my leg back!"

honestly, do they really think that I'd go to all that trouble to saw it off if I was just going to stitch it back on?

[Kean]

"Can you check the stockroom?"
"There's none there, ma'am."
"Well, can you just check?"

People seem to have this idea in their head that stock rooms are this magical place where every size, colour and style you need is just being hidden there. Seriously, no. It's a bunch of creepy mannequins and shelving units. >_>

Our manager used to tell us to just go back there, count to ten, and then come back out so it looked like we looked.

[Ash]

Here's another...

"Would you like to apply for a Wal-Mart credit card?"

The cashiers there are required to ask every single customer this.  If they don't, you get a free candy bar.  There are signs on every register that say that.

I'll be standing in the express line and the cashier will ask the people in front of me.  When I get up to her, and before she can say anything, I always tell her, 'No.  I don't want to apply for a Wal-Mart credit card."
She usually thanks me.