What Indy SHOULDN'T say to the Senate.

[ghouck]

I another Thread, our own Indianasmith speaks of how he gets to testify in front of his State's Senate. I feel we should all show our support and give him some advice on what NOT to say:

"Hey, I remember a few of you from back when I used to grow pot"

"As a member of the public that pay your wages. . . "

(to any female members): "Are those REAL? I guess they'd have to be, nobody would pay for fake ones that look like that"

"OK, which one of you @$$h0les F-ed up the economy? (or education system)"

"Looking at you all makes me believe we're one dumb blond away from an episode of Hee-Haw"

"Now I see what they do with all the dead bodies once the medical students are done with them"

"ARROWHEADS? What does the Klan have to do with arrowheads? Oh, you're not all Klan members?"

"It's simple: You let me keep all the arrowheads I find, I give you all the hookers and blow I can round up, OK?"

"Just give me a hint about where you idiots dump your dead bodies, and I'll promise to stay away from it. OK?"

"You took away bestiality, sodomy, and weed, if you take away arrowhead hunting, I won't have anything to do"

[Derf]

"If I can't hunt arrowheads, then Smith & Wesson and I will make sure that no one else can, either."

"Is this the Senate or the Special Olympics?"

"I think I'll let my nether hole voice its opinion of this new code change."

"I'm gonna keep right on grabbin' every *&^*@ arrowhead I find, and that's the bottom line, 'cuz Stone Cold said so."

"I make a motion to buy a dildo for each of you so that y'all can stop screwing with me and go screw yourselves."

"Which one of you short-busers came up with this cargo-fart of an idea, anyway?"

[meQal]

"Are you stupid or something?"
"So what's next, brown shirts and jack boots?"
"Kiss my a$$!"
"So how much money are each of you personally making off this law?"
"Who's the moron that thought this was a good idea?"
"My name is Bond. James Bond."
"My assistant Mr. Socko will explain my proposal for me." (pulls out a sock puppet)
"So do you always get an erection when screwing over the little man?"
"Oh your high and mighty toilet hogs, I beseach thee..."
"Well if you don't pass this, I'll have to resort to my Plan B which involves the wholesale slaughter of your families."

[Doggett]

"Seriously, though, what is it you guys actually...do ?"

"I've done you, I've done you, I've done you...and in 2005 I'm pretty sure I did you, but the lighting was bad so I'm not sure"

[Rev. Powell]

I another Thread, our own Indianasmith speaks of how he gets to testify in front of his State's Senate. I feel we should all show our support and give him some advice on what NOT to say:

"It's simple: You let me keep all the arrowheads I find, I give you all the hookers and blow I can round up, OK?"

Actually, given that he's speaking to state senators, isn't that exactly what he SHOULD say? 

If I were Indy, I WOULDN'T say: "I'll have you know this measure is supported by President George W. Bush, one of the greatest presidents of the 20th century, and the best owner the Texas Rangers ever had!"

[Pilgermann]

"Let's make this quick, I gotta go number 2!"

"...future events such as these will affect you in the future."

"I'll grind your bones to make my bread!"

"Have you guys ever seen Ninja Bachelor Party?"

[meQal]

"Excuse me while I whip this out."
"If you don't pass this, I'm gonna put the smackdown on your jabronis."
"If you won't listen to me then maybe this .45 will convince you."
"That's not what your mother said last night."
"Is this a committee or a bowel movement?"
"Please refer to me as Your Almighty Serpent God from now on."
"Hey, can I have a bailout also?"
"We all know that you all rode the short bus to get here."
"I go poopie!"
"I find you lack of faith disturbing." (then tries to Force choke the committee.)

[RCMerchant]

What ever you do,don't say-"F#ck you a$$hole." Because cops don't like that.

[ghouck]

"Got any naked pictures of your wives? Wanna buy some?"

"Whoa, so you are all those @$$h0les I DIDN'T vote for?"

"You know, men who seek a position of power often do so to compensate for inadequacies of a sexual nature, while WOMEN who seek a position of power, they're usually ball-busting lesbos"

"You all look like a bunch of chesters at a  NAMBLA convention, I wouldn't be surprised if Chris Hansen were here right now"

"gooble gobble, gooble gobble, one of us, one of us"

"I fart in your general direction"

"Let me start by passing out some Viagra, which will surely make you dicks TALLER!"

"When I think about you, I touch myself"

[AndyC]

"I have hidden a small explosive device somewhere in this building."
"I have decided to abolish the senate and control the population through fear."
"My arse is killing me from the drive in here."
"You know, having a wank in the men's room sure settles the nerves before public speaking."
"If you don't mind, I'm going to picture all of you with your clothes off, especially you, sweetcakes."
"Could you call a recess? I have to pinch a loaf."
"My presentation is called 'Won't Somebody Find Me.' It's a first-person narrative, told from the arrowhead's point of view."