I'm saddened it wasn't Billy Mayes
Well if it was Mr. Mays taking a prostitute back to his room (I know, a real appealing mental image) he could've given the prostitute a real nice orange glow!
(speaking way too loud and way too excitedly): Hi! I'm Billy Mays! And now, with the fifty dollars I have in my pocket, you too can get paid big money to knock my junk around!
Don't be silly. Billy Mays doesn't have to pay for sex. Come on. It's BILLY MAYS for God's sake.
But seriously, I'm troubled by this. The ShamWow guy. How can an infomercial pitchman sink so low? Where are the kids going to find their heroes now?