Bad Movie Logo
"A website to the detriment of good film"
Custom Search
HOMEB-MOVIE REVIEWSREADER REVIEWSFORUMINTERVIEWSUPDATESABOUT
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
Did you miss your activation email?
June 26, 2016, 02:20:42 PM
566055 Posts in 43478 Topics by 5656 Members
Latest Member: Gojirob
Badmovies.org Forum  |  Information Exchange  |  Movie Reviews  |  Submitted Reader Reviews  |  Zombeavers (2014) « previous next »
Pages: [1]
Author Topic: Zombeavers (2014)  (Read 514 times)
Ted C
Bad Movie Lover
***

Karma: 38
Posts: 425


Turn Up the Evil!


« on: February 12, 2016, 03:14:15 PM »

Zombeavers
Rated: R
 TongueOut TongueOut TongueOut slimes
Copyright Company and Date: Armory Films, 2014
Submitted by Ted C


THE CHARACTERS
Jenn - College girl who is glum because her boyfriend, Sam, cheated on her.
Zoe - Friend of Jenn who brings boys to the "boyfriend-free" retreat.
Mary - Friend of Jenn who did the cheating with Sam.
Sam - All-around jerk.
Buck - Semi-brainless boyfriend of Zoe.
Tommy - Jock boyfriend of Mary.
Smyth - Weird old guy who likes guns.

LESSONS LEARNED
Don't go on retreats to places that don't have cell service.
Metal canisters that store hazardous materials will float in water and ride rapids intact, but spontaneously burst on contact with a beaver dam.
Everything about a zombie is contagious.
Beavers are good at tunneling.

STUFF TO WATCH FOR
2 mins - Amusing credit sequence.
3 mins - That barrel of hazardous chemicals looks awfully empty.
7 mins - GRATUITOUS ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST THE VIEWER'S EYES
13 mins - RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT
16 mins - Creepy old man with a rifle.
21 mins - Stupid prank.
23 mins - GRATUITUOUS SEX SCENE
27 mins - First beaver attack.
37 mins - Sam is going to hell.
45 mins - Most tactical zombies ever.
59 mins - That's taking zombie-contagion to a new extreme.
71 mins - Not these guys again!

NOTABLE QUOTES
Sam: We cannot turn against each other right now. That's exactly what the beavers would want.

Buck: I've never seen a real beaver before up close.
Zoe: Well maybe you should try going down on me once in a while, Buck.

Sam: Come out to the lake, have a few laughs...

THE PLOT
As a couple of idiots are driving a truck full of hazardous chemicals, they stupidly hit a deer. The impact knocks a can of chemicals off the truck and into a nearby river, where it floats down stream to a beaver dam and spontaneously breaks open to douse the dam with zombie juice.

Jenn, Mary, and Zoe are going to a cabin owned by Mary's family. It was going to be a boys and girls thing, but Jenn found out her boyfriend was cheating, so they turned it into just a girls thing, where they sunbathe and swim in the beaver pond and play stupid drinking games.

But Zoe didn't want to go the whole weekend without getting laid, so she invited the boys anyway, including Jenn's cheating ex, Sam. Cue the awkward scene of them arguing while the other couples are off sexing themselves up.

After shutting down Sam's obnoxious attempts at reconciliation, Jenn goes off to take a shower, only to be attacked by a weird-looking beaver in the bathroom. Tommy beats it down with a baseball bat and tosses the body out on the porch.

The next day, the beaver body is gone, but everyone except Jenn decides to go swimming in the beaver pond anyway. Mayhem ensues as the mutant zombie beavers attack, amputating the foot of Buck, Zoe's boyfriend.

They manage to retreat to the cabin and fight off the initial attempts of the beavers to break in, but Buck obviously needs medical attention, so Tommy decides to make a run for the car with Buck and Zoe, leaving Jenn, Mary, and Sam in the cabin. Did I mention that Mary is the girl with whom Sam was cheating? Yeah, that's going to be awkward.

The attempt to get Buck to a hospital is all too brief, as the beavers have dropped a tree across the road. As Tommy is trying to figure out how to get around it, the sneaky rodents drop another on him. Fortunately, crazy old man Smyth shows up to save Zoe and Buck, taking them back the way they came.

Jenn, Mary, and Sam have boarded up the cabin, so Zoe, Buck, and Smyth retreat to a neighbor's cabin. The beavers have been here, too, though, and the neighbors are dead.

Meanwhile, Jenn decides to pay Mary an interesting looking visit. It gets more "interesting" when Jenn turns out to be infected with the mysterious chemical hazard, which is turning her into a homicidal zombie were-beaver. Mary escapes, and she and Sam lock Jenn in the bedroom.

Realizing that it's too late to save Buck's foot, Zoe agrees to let Smyth cauterize the stump. Buck figures that's a good time to become a zombie were-beaver and attacks Smyth. Zoe flees upstairs, only to be attacked by one of the zombified residents of the house. She escapes by jumping out the second-story window.

Driven to paranoia by Jenn's transformation, Sam and Mary decide to inspect each other for beaver-related injuries to make sure they won't turn. The inspection starts to turn into awkward sex before beavers break in and kill Sam in a spectacularly horrible manner.

Fortunately, Zoe survived her fall and breaks through the wall in Smyth's truck to save Mary. Evading marauding zombie-beavers, they make it to the road block, from which they will need to walk. Mary, however, suspects that Zoe might be infected. The argument doesn't last long, though, as Mary is the one who turns, prompting a serious beat down from Zoe.

Alas, when poor Zoe makes it to a main road and waves for help, the vehicle approaching is the two idiots from the beginning.
« Last Edit: February 18, 2016, 12:11:57 PM by Ted C » Logged

"Slugs?  He created slugs? I would have started with lasers, six o'clock, day one!" -- Evil, Time Bandits
Pages: [1]
Badmovies.org Forum  |  Information Exchange  |  Movie Reviews  |  Submitted Reader Reviews  |  Zombeavers (2014) « previous next »
    Jump to:  


    RSS Feed Subscribe Subscribe by RSS
    Email Subscribe Subscribe by Email


    Popular Articles
    How To Find A Bad Movie

    The Champions of Justice

    Plan 9 from Outer Space

    Manos, The Hands of Fate

    Podcast: Todd the Convenience Store Clerk

    Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!

    Dragonball: The Magic Begins

    Cool As Ice

    The Educational Archives: Driver's Ed

    Godzilla vs. Monster Zero

    Do you have a zombie plan?

    FROM THE BADMOVIES.ORG ARCHIVES
    ImageThe Giant Claw - Slime drop

    Earth is visited by a GIANT ANTIMATTER SPACE BUZZARD! Gawk at the amazingly bad bird puppet, or chuckle over the silly dialog. This is one of the greatest b-movies ever made.

    Lesson Learned:
    • Osmosis: os·mo·sis (oz-mo'sis, os-) n., 1. When a bird eats something.

    Subscribe to Badmovies.org and get updates by email:

    HOME B-Movie Reviews Reader Reviews Forum Interviews TV Shows Advertising Information Sideshows Links Contact

    Badmovies.org is owned and operated by Andrew Borntreger. All original content is © 1998 - 2014 by its respective author(s). Image, video, and audio files are used in accordance with the Fair Use Law, and are property of the film copyright holders. You may freely link to any page (.html or .php) on this website, but reproduction in any other form must be authorized by the copyright holder.