Creepy Celebrities

[Joe the Destroyer]

We've done sexy celebs.  We've done un-sexy celebs.  We kinda redid sexy celebs with sexy musicians.  We have yet to touch on sexy b-movie monsters. 

Yet we ignore the creepy celebrities.  You know, the people that appear in your nightmares floating over your bed and smiling at you; the ones that you are afraid will be hiding in your closet when you go to get your work clothes.  You would never let these people within a foot of your children, and you're damn sure that there should be some kind of warning on the news if they're in your area.  Nevertheless, they exist, and somewhere out there they are thinking about you and rubbing their hands together. 

You know who I find creepy?



Rick Roll.  The guy looks like a porcelain doll that someone animated and grew to human size, then imbued it with the voice of a big, black man.  That's right, some one out there thought it would be hilarious if a tiny, vacant-eyed doll sounded like a Motown singer. 



Then you have Mike Tyson.  I would guess that somewhere in this guy's GI tract is a lonely child who got too close to him.  I would also not be surprised if he were actually more akin to a trapdoor spider, hiding underground and waiting for unsuspecting children to tra-la-la on by, and striking when they stop to examine the curious, shiny object someone left on the ground. 



Need I say anything?  Of course not. 

Who are the celebrities you check under the bed for at night?

[Jack]

Jessica Simpson



She's the most plastic-looking, soulless thing I've ever seen.  When technology develops to the point where we're mass producing sex robots in factories, this is exactly what they'll look like.  And act like.

[Rev. Powell]

Jessica Simpson



She's the most plastic-looking, soulless thing I've ever seen.  When technology develops to the point where we're mass producing sex robots in factories, this is exactly what they'll look like.  And act like.

I'm still pre-ordering one.   

[RCMerchant]

Joan Rivers-


She looks like maybe she's an alien in human form...like you could tear her face off and reveal the hidden lizard face underneath.

David Doyle-I dunno why...it's his voice...or something...just creeps me out. I wouldn't wanna shake his hand-I might catch some kinda cooties....he just seems like a big zit.

[Allhallowsday]

I think the whole JACKSON crew are creepy, I wouldn't want to get close to any of them as they're liable to pick yer pocket:


MELISSA RIVERS takes after her mom. 

[Doggett]

He could snap at any moment...
20 years from now, if it turns out that he killed people and buried them in his garden...well, i wouldn't be surprised...

[Mr. DS]

As of late anyhow...

[RCMerchant]

As of late anyhow...

I seriously think that guy is on hard drugs latley. Really.Thats why the dark shades.

[Sister Grace]

corey fieldman... eeek!!!

[Joe the Destroyer]

Joan Rivers-


She looks like maybe she's an alien in human form...like you could tear her face off and reveal the hidden lizard face underneath.

You ever notice how Joan Rivers looks like a CGI model from a Silent Hill game, except in real life?  She has that same vacant, sallow expression.  Utterly terrifying.

[RCMerchant]

Joan Rivers-


She looks like maybe she's an alien in human form...like you could tear her face off and reveal the hidden lizard face underneath.

You ever notice how Joan Rivers looks like a CGI model from a Silent Hill game, except in real life?  She has that same vacant, sallow expression.  Utterly terrifying.

I don't play video games beyond DRIVER 2, V-8,and Duck Hunt,,,but she is a creepy looking ghoul. Do you recall the TV series V? There ya go. Or if you read goofy ufo litature....some folks think Reptilians are infiltrating our planet. Do I think so...no. Do I think Joan Rivers is a living mummy? Yes.

[Jack]

Anything past the 8th or 9th facelift is probably a bad idea.

[Mr. DS]

Madonna

Don't get me wrong I found her a bit cute when she first came out.  After the "Like A Prayer" video, she officially started bugging me.  I'm not religious but that video was done because she's always looking for negative attention.  Then she went into the the "whore" stage.  Then she went on to the "mommy" stage.  Now she is like The Mummy.  My brother went to go see her and said he walked out half way through her concert. 

[schmendrik]

Lyle Lovett


who always makes me think of Eraserhead

[AndyC]

Udo Kier