Horseshoes and Hand Grenades

[Ash]

I was listening to the radio earlier and heard someone use the phrase, "Horseshoes and hand grenades". 

What about other words that start with the same letter but are totally different and have no relation?
After all, horseshoes have nothing to do with hand grenades.

Come up with two words that begin with the same letter but have absolutely nothing to do with one another.
The weirder, the better. 

I'll start...

Elephants and Electricity.  


What can you come up with?

[Jim H]

Well, the full expression is "Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades".  So they do have that small bit in common, in that if a grenade is close to your target or you're relatively close to the pole in horseshoes, you still score.

Still...  This is a rather random thing so, I'll give it a go.

Apes and apricots

[RCMerchant]

My Uncle always said "He don't know sh!t from Shinola!" Not sure what Shinola is.....

[Jack]

Sufferin' succotash 

[meQal]

My Uncle always said "He don't know sh!t from Shinola!" Not sure what Shinola is.....

That was explained clearly in the film "The Jerk" when Steve Martin's adoptive father showed him the difference in a horse pen.
OK to add to the list.
Antidote and anecdote

[ghouck]

Sh!t and Syphilis: which is one of my mother's favorite sayings :"If you're looking for SYMPATHY, it's in the dictionary between SH!T and SYPHILIS". Good ol' Mom. . 

[Ash]

Well, the full expression is "Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades".

Ah.  I knew I'd heard that phrase somewhere before but couldn't remember who said it and what it meant.
Thanks.  

[Ed, Ego and Superego]

My Uncle always said "He don't know sh!t from Shinola!" Not sure what Shinola is.....

Its an old brand of shoe polish
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shinola

[Psycho Circus]

Vehicles and Vaginas

[The Burgomaster]

Masticate and mast . . . never mind . . .

[Ash]

Lemurs and lighters

[Raffine]

Apes and apricots

In the WIZARD OF OZ the Cowardly Lion asks
"What put the Ape in Apricot?
What makes the Hottentots so hot?
Whatta they got that I ain't got?"

Answer: Courage!

[schmendrik]

Beets and Beer cans.

[Psycho Circus]

Nevada and Nail-bombs

[Ed, Ego and Superego]

Chalk and Cheese