My First (Not) Date...

[BTM]

One of my co-workers, I'll call her "Sarah" wanted to repay for me twice filling in on her shift when she got sick and again when she had to come in late, so I had to stay over and serve breakfast at the hotel (the time she got sick, we couldn't get a replacement, so I ended up staying until about a 11, severing food to a full hotel, couldn't count how many times I ran back and forth between the breakfast area and the kitchen.)  So, she offered to take me out to a movie of my choice, her treat.

So, that was kind of weird.  It's like, my first ever date that wasn't really a date (cause, you know, Sarah's got a boyfriend, and, even if she didn't, I doubt she thinks of me as anything more than a friend.)  Sides, she smokes, so I dunno if I could ever build anything long term with a smoker...

Still, it was kind of weird though.. I mean, dumb as this sounds, I've never been on... well, anything this close to a date before.  (Even if, like I said, it wasn't really a date.)

I did have fun though, we went to see the new Star Trek film, which was REALLY awesome, BTW.  She was a bit skeptical about it, as she'd never really watched the series or any of the previous movies, but the film is set up where you don't really have to be a fan of the original to enjoy the movie.  She came out saying it was pretty good.  During the film, I'd occasionally lean over and whisper a comment or two, and sometimes she asked me a question about something or other (she was wondering if I know who the bad guy was supposed to be, thinking he was from the original show or something, but I told her he was a completely new character.)  

It was a bit weird, cause we're sitting next to each other, and you know how theater armrests are, you have to share one with whoever's next to you, so, I kept putting my elbow on the end and then, would start to move it back, and I'd be like, "Wait, Mike, you might bump her arm... that might be awkward.

Afterwards, we chatted for a bit in the parking lot, many about work and stuff, she vented a bit about her frustrations with the job.  Apparently no one really gets along to well with our manager.  I mean, I've always kind of know this, but I guess the full picture never completely emerged for me.  I suppose part of it because I work the late shift and don't have to spend that much time with her.  We talked for a bit about other things, and then she said, "You know, this was fun, we'll have to do this some more sometime."

And I said, "Well, that'd be great.  Course, uh, just make sure your boyfriend's cool with that, okay?  I don't want to come out of the theater and be greated by some guy with a shotgun going, (here I mimed holding a rifle), 'You tryin' to take my guurl away from me?'"

And she's like, "Ahh, he won't be like that.  Besides, if he can't accept the fact that I have male friends, then that's his problem."

I also said, "Hey, maybe I could come with you guys when you go to see Up."  (She'd mentioned earlier she was wanting to take her boyfriend, and his two boys to see the new Pixar film Up when it came out.)

She said, "Yeah, that'd be great!  The boys would love you!"

After a bit more jabber, I bid her a good evening and went out separate ways.

So, yeah, that was interesting, a bit sad on my part, but I try to stay positive.  It was nice to get out with a friend and all.

[Doc Daneeka]

Well even though you guys aren't really intimate, it's great that you've got something social going on to break up the "usual monotony"! Just as great to know they've got a relationship where neither party is jealous as f**k, as most relationships usually have >.> . Hope you and the others can get together again eventually.

[Rev. Powell]

This can work out... IF you're not at all attracted to her.

If you fancy her the slightest bit, this could be headed for a disaster.

[Psycho Circus]

This can work out... IF you're not at all attracted to her.

If you fancy her the slightest bit, this could be headed for a disaster.

Oh for sure. Amen to that Rev 

[The Burgomaster]

I'd say this has at least a 50 / 50 chance of turning into something more than friendship.  After all, she could have bought you a gift or offered to cover some of your shifts to repay you.  Instead, she repayed you by taking you out to a movie.  So, that's at least moving in the same direction as a real date.  I wouldn't get TOO excited about it, but I definitely wouldn't be surprised if the relationship eventually grew into something more than it is now.

[ghouck]

You should try the Joe Garrelli method of picking up women: Whisper the dirtiest thing you can think of into her ear, and if she doesn't slap you, then you're in. . . After all, It worked for Mr. James. . .

[Hammock Rider]

I have to agree with Burgomaster, she wanted to spend money AND time with you instead of just money. She could have just taken a few shifts you didn't want to work. That was SOP when I worked in a restaurant. It's hard to tell sometimes what someone else is thinking so play it by ear. If you think she's sending a signal and you're interested then respond with interest. If she's not married or engaged there's nothing wrong with that. If you think she's more friend-minded toward you and you're cool with that, go in that direction.

But if you want to date her don't hold back because you're nervous or doubtful of yourself. When I was much younger I didn't ask certain girls out because I was afraid they'd blow me off, only to find out later that they liked me and we could have had something. People aren't always on the same wavelength even when they want to be, so just take'er easy and see what happens for now.  :thumbup:That's my two cents.

[Rev. Powell]

The problem I see is, sometimes girls will "date" guys specifically to try to make their boyfriends jealous... all the while claiming it's just a friendship (stay outside of the panties, please).  Of course, she could really be interested in BTM... but she said nothing about wanting to get rid of the bf (the non-negotiable first step).  My advice is to proceed with caution.  Don't let yourself get emotionally invested in her unless she truly is on the market.  If you can stay just friends and enjoy that, great... but like I said, that's much easier if you're not attracted to her. 

[Paquita]

Whatever happens, you can at least consider it good practice!  I agree with the Rev though, some girls get a kick out of trying to make their boyfriends jealous OR they just really love fighting and doing things to provoke them - be careful! 

[Ash]

One other thing to be careful of is mixed signals some women send.

For example:  Many years ago I was interested in this girl named Katie.  She seemed interested in me and would send me all the signals an interested woman would.
Those included calling me "hon" and "babe". 
She would also frequently touch me on the shoulders or arms or hands.  (touching is usually a dead giveaway that a woman is interested)
She would even say things like, "You're so awesome!" and then kiss me on the cheek.

Even though she did all of those things, I realized after awhile that she had absolutely no romantic interest in me at all.  I tried to "officially" ask her out and she shot me down.
She said, "You're my friend.  It would be too weird if we actually dated."
I was totally flabbergasted.  All those signals she sent me and she was never interested.

So be careful.  Many women don't realize that they're sending mixed signals to guys.  Or, they do and just love to f**k with you.

[Paquita]

One other thing to be careful of is mixed signals some women send.

For example:  Many years ago I was interested in this girl named Katie.  She seemed interested in me and would send me all the signals an interested woman would.
Those included calling me "hon" and "babe". 
She would also frequently touch me on the shoulders or arms or hands.  (touching is usually a dead giveaway that a woman is interested)
She would even say things like, "You're so awesome!" and then kiss me on the cheek.

Even though she did all of those things, I realized after awhile that she had absolutely no romantic interest in me at all.  I tried to "officially" ask her out and she shot me down.
She said, "You're my friend.  It would be too weird if we actually dated."
I was totally flabbergasted.  All those signals she sent me and she was never interested.

So be careful.  Many women don't realize that they're sending mixed signals to guys.  Or, they do and just love to f**k with you.

Totally true!  I've known a couple girls that just like to have a "collection" of men around them that they never actually date but just string along and toy with their emotions.  It's so wrong I could spit!

[RCMerchant]

Never.ever even try to figure out wimmin. They'er insane. I been married twice. The mother of my children is an interbred moron,and my second was my best freind-Tara Sue. We argurd....if you don't-you ain't bein' honest. I loved her morethan  life. She died Christmas Eve last year. Life goes on...mebbe someday I'll get a new girlfreind.....but I ain't in no hurry.

[BTM]

This can work out... IF you're not at all attracted to her.

If you fancy her the slightest bit, this could be headed for a disaster.

Well, I dunno.. haven't really thought of her in that way since I found out she had a boyfriend.  To me, she's more like that cool older sister who swears and would buy you beer and hook you up her one of her friends.  (Course, I never had an older sister like that, but still.) 

She's a bit of a tom boy, so I get the feeling she has lots of male friends.  Get this, remember the scene in Star Trek where young Kirk is driving the car down the road and gets chased by the cop?  She knew exactly what type of make and model was (declared it to be "a classic" and was even a bit upset when it went over the cliff.)

Plus, she smokes :( don't think I could ever build anything long term around a girl who smokes... we'd be constantly fighting about it, what with me being asthmatic and all.

[BTM]

I'd say this has at least a 50 / 50 chance of turning into something more than friendship.  After all, she could have bought you a gift or offered to cover some of your shifts to repay you. 

Well, technically, we don't work the same job, so she couldn't have taken any of my shifts.  I work at a hotel as the night auditor, and she works part time as the hostess, serving breakfast to the guests.  As part of my shift, I put out the breakfast in the morning about five and watch it until six am, when the hostess arrives and takes over. 

Basically, I know how to "cook" (i.e. microwave) the food, refill the doughnuts and whatnot, so I can easily do that part of the job.  (As for the other stuff like inventory and prepping for the next day, I'm a little fuzzy on that part.)

I don't know...

Just kind of hoping this will open up some social avenues for me.. maybe I could meet some of her friends and stuff.  Either way though, it's nice to have someone to hang out and do stuff with, as my other endeavors to meet new people haven't worked out too well so far...

[BTM]

Whatever happens, you can at least consider it good practice!  I agree with the Rev though, some girls get a kick out of trying to make their boyfriends jealous OR they just really love fighting and doing things to provoke them - be careful! 

I understand that, but, at the risk of sounding overly negative, I think if she was wanting to simply use a guy to make her bf jealous, she could find a lot more uh... charismatic options than me.  I mean, I haven't meet her bf, but I'm not exactly GQ cover material.