People V. Cap'n Crunch

[Raffine]

Surprise! There's no crunchy bits of Mr. T in Mr. T cereal, either.

People V. Cap'n Crunch

Woman claims to be duped by Crunch Berries

A federal judge in California has dismissed a complaint filed by a San Diego woman who had bought "Cap'n Crunch with Crunchberries" for four years believing the cereal contained real berries.

Janine Sugawara cried fraud when she learned the "berries" were only colored cereal balls flavored with strawberry concentrate. She sued the manufacturer on behalf of all crunchberry-eating Americans.

Judge Morrison England Jr. drowned the claim with the milk of common sense:

"This Court is not aware of, nor has Plaintiff alleged the existence of, any actual fruit referred to as a "crunchberry." ... A reasonable consumer would not be deceived into believing that the Product in the instant case contained a fruit that does not exist. . . . So far as this Court has been made aware, there is no such fruit growing in the wild or occurring naturally in any part of the world."

"Plaintiff did not explain why she could not reasonably have figured this out at any point during the four years she alleged she bought Cap'n Crunch with Crunchberries in reliance on defendant's fraud."

The judge's rebuke also noted that another federal court had previously rejected a similar suit filed by Sugawara's attorneys claiming Froot Loops did not contain real, um, froot.

[Doc Daneeka]

Cheetos really do not have enough cheese to be dangerous http://www.zug.com/live/index.cgi?func=view_thread&thread_id=55909

[ghouck]

http://laughingsquid.com/woman-thought-she-won-a-toyota-not-a-toy-yoda/

This girl made it work, but it has been said that they implied a vehicle several times, all the while planning to pass off the "toy Yoda".

[Jack]

It's just mind boggling to think about how someone could devise a plan to sue for crunch berries not being real fruit, and then actually carry through with that plan. 

[Rev. Powell]

If I recall correctly the makers of Grape-Nuts were sued many years ago on the same theory, with the same result.

[Doggett]

People Vs Spotted Dick...
Actually people were relieved when it turned out there was no...

[Raffine]

I wonder where she thought FrankenBerries came from...

[Ash]

Up until last year, I lived right by Quaker Oats. (on record as the largest cereal mill in the world)
Whenever they made Cap'n Crunch, if the wind was right, it made the entire city smell like Crunch Berries.   

[Javakoala]

Next, she can sue because Bran Buds aren't friendly and don't return her calls.

Stupid people.   

[Jack]

I'll have to get some Count Chocula and then sue because I can't turn into a bat.

[ghouck]

I'm gonna sue the makers of "Fruity Pebbles", they aren't really fruit, or pebbles. I was gonna pave my driveway with them, but just found out I can't.

Ever make 'Rice Krispie Treats' out of 'Fruity Pebbles'? They're much better.

[Raffine]

Ever make 'Rice Krispie Treats' out of 'Fruity Pebbles'? They're much better.

I've had 'em made with Coco Krispies/Coco Pebbles (whatever) but, damn, if that don't sound good!