Film Term Definitions

[Mr. DS]

Twist Ending
An ending you more than likely A.) Saw coming hours before or B.) Really has no shock even if you didn't see it coming or C.) will prevent you from ever watching the movie again with any interest.

See Also: M Knight Shamalamadingdong


Direct To Video Sequel  
A.) Film that absolutely had no chance in hell of attracting anyone to a theater.  Even if was a free showing on a rainy Saturday.  
B.) A film that will contain less than 5% of the actors and charm appearing in the original.
C.) Another sickening attempt by Disney to have parent shell out money for crap their kids will beg them for only to lose interest after 5 minutes of viewing.  

"From The Producers Of..."
A film that has hardly a chance of popularity that needs to ride the coatails of a mediocre film for some attention.  Usually has no effect of the film's suckiness with or without the producer involved.

[Doggett]

Erotic - You see the woman.

Pornography - you see the man too.

[LilCerberus]

Oscar Worthy - Way too highbrow to be appreciated by the kinds of people who actually watch movies.

[Mofo Rising]

Sumptuous - Fully one quarter of the film is dedicated to lingering, pointless shots of scenery and/or bodices.

Mise-en-scene - Put short, film-making. A special term used only by film school-graduates, who have since went on to write reviews for their local paper, to prove that $30,000 worth of education makes them more deserving of being able to say "My opinion on movies is more nuanced and valuable than yours."

Timeless - So bland and boring that relevance ceases to be an option.

Family-friendly - All of the jokes involve flatulence, instead of other bodily fluids.

Twist-ending! - "I put this in my review to completely rob the impact of whatever surprise ending this film tried for. I do this because I hate you, the unwashed plebeian audience that did not appreciate my usage of the term mise-en-scene."

[Mofo Rising]

Scene-stealing performance - The lead actor is a dead fish. They are the star, though, so we must describe all the decent actors as "scene-stealers."

[BTM]

Epic - its long.  Really long.  And not always in the "we've got a lot of story to tell so this will take a bit Lord of the Rings" long but in the "let's pan over the scenery very, very slooooowlllllly Apocalypse Now long."  Often includes having way too many characters to keep track off.

Atmospheric - lots of poorly lit scenes with cheap "jump" scares and/or some exotic locale that's way more interesting than the actual film.

[InformationGeek]

"Fun For the Whole Family": Only the kids could possibly enjoy this trash.

"Top Film of the Year": In reality, only one or two film critics think this.

"Electrify Performance By...": Means the acting is average, but considered great compared to everyone else who stinks

"Limited Release": The producers can't afford to have the movie shown in regular theaters.

[akiratubo]

Summer blockbuster - thoroughly unexceptional movie except that the sound is turned up very loud to make it exciting

[Raffine]

"AND STARRING **** ****** IN HIS MOST UNUSAL ROLE"

A has-been comedian is playing the psycho killer or a drunk.

[Mr. DS]

Exotic Thriller - Yes theres boobs...not enough though to hide the awful plot which is neither exotic or thrilling.  

Featuring Academy Award Winner... - Ok, so they're in it for about two minutes in a cameo that you'll probably forget about but dammit...they're in the movie.

[Rev. Powell]

Biopic - a movie that's not accurate enough to be a documentary or interesting enough to be fiction

[AndyC]

Alternate definition:

Biopic - A chance to see how well one celebrity imitates another celebrity.

[Kester Pelagius]

Mise-en-scene - Put short, film-making. A special term used only by film school-graduates, who have since went on to write reviews for their local paper, to prove that $30,000 worth of education makes them more deserving of being able to say "My opinion on movies is more nuanced and valuable than yours."

Ouch!

 


re: Twist Ending

I'd update that to read something like -

Twist Ending
1. An ending audiences members not high, drunk, or under the age of 5 more than likely A) Saw coming hours before or B) is intended to genreate shock yet has no real shock value due to it's obviousness, or; C) makes the viewer feel like they just wasted a couple hours of their lives on something they will never watch again nor have any interest in discussing.  2. Catch-phrase used in TV promos and trailers by marketing morons who don't understand that a twist ending, by definition, is supposed to be A MYSTERY and/or A SURPRISE to work effectively.

Whoever the studios have cutting their trailers for them are idiots.  There's been so many movies I was kind of interest in that they gave the entire movie away in their promos/trailers so I saw no point to see it in the theatre.  Way I see it if they think that little of the movie then I'll just waite for it to hit the bargain bin or satellite.

Just me?

[El Misfit]

low budget b movie: Really cheesy movies

[Joe the Destroyer]

Romantic Comedy- Predictable films with unlikable characters, usually following a female protagonist with an unresolved issue who meets a man she absolutely hates, but finds out she has more in common with him than she originally thought. 

Remake- What execs do when they feel lazy.

Avant-garde- Depictions of random events made to look like highly intellectual metaphors.  Usually contains some gay reference or another.

Sleeper Hit- A film that no one bothered to see, but three people that did, who are probably overweight secretaries, enjoyed it.

Hallmark Films- Films that lack substance and storytelling, but make you feel all warm and fuzzy when they're done.  Said to show "good values."