Do You Make Up New Lyrics to Old Tunes?

[indianasmith]

I do this all the time, since I remember melodies and tunes far more easily than I can make them up.  Here are two of my favorites.  The first one is to the tune of "Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer".  It is about the famous Byzantine Emperor Basil Bulgaroctonus - which loosely translates to:

"Basil the Bulgar Slayer,
Had a very shiny sword.
And if he ever drew it,
He would split you like a gourd.
All of the smelly Bulgars
Used to laugh and call him names -"
So he killed them.

(NOTE - the last line is spoken in a very matter-of-fact tone after all the other lines are sung to the jolly tune.  My students love that one.)

Here is one that I made up this afternoon, to the tune of "Deck the Halls with Boughs of Holly" -


"Deck the Halls with spleens and nostrils, Fa la la la la, La la la la!
T'is the season to feel hostile, Fa la la la la, La la la la!
Slay we now our naughty students, Fa la la! Fa la la, La la la!
Hide their bodies to be prudent, Fa la la la la, La la la la!


My seventh graders were giggling and eyeing me nervously at the same time when I sang them that one! LOL

[WingedSerpent]

There's a song called "Going the Distance" by Cake.  The chorus is:
He's going the distance.
He's going for speed.
She's all alone, all alone in her time of need.


To which I made up:
He's going the distance
He's going ON speed
She's all alone, all alone with her bag of weed.

It's what I think each time I hear that song.

[retrorussell]

I used to call "Owner Of A Lonely Heart", Odor Of A Moldy Fart.
And Quarterflash's "Harden My Heart" was Pardon My Fart.
I may have added lyrics for more of the song but I don't remember.

[retrorussell]

I also made "Rice Rice Krispies" out of Ice Ice Baby.  I made up some lyrics:

Head to the kitchen, quick like a candle
Grab that refrigerator door handle
Pull out the milk while it's icy cold
And pour it on the Krispies in my bowl
(Rice, Rice Krispies)
Kellogg's (Rice, Rice Krispies)

~and~

If there was a problem, yo I'll solve it
Check out the sugar while the milk dissolves it
 

[Trevor]

If there was a problem, yo I'll solve it
Check out the sugar while the milk dissolves it

 

[Mr. DS]

I add the F-word to a lot of songs where it doesn't belong.  I love in Old School where they add it to Total Eclispe Of The Heart.

"I f*cking need you now tonight, I f*cking need you more than ever."

[Psycho Circus]

I do it alot when I'm just at home singing to myself. I'll have a song stuck in my brain and I usually end up substituting "monkey" or "blood" in place of other words.

[Derf]

Yes, constantly. Many times I go for the easy potty joke, rhyming "you" with "poo" or "heart" with "fart" or just inserting fart noises for punctuation. That's mostly when I'm by myself, though sometimes I'll do it when my wife is in the car with me. I've also written several parodies, including "I Am in Debt" to the tune of Paul Simon's "I Am a Rock."

One time I was driving a group of kids home from an all-nighter in an amusement park (a lock-in for a bunch of different church groups), and after being awake for 22 hours, I was doing whatever I could to stay awake. The car was quiet, and the kids were all asleep, so I kept myself alert by singing countless variations on "Leavin' on a Jet Plane." The drive was an hour and a half, so I made up a lot of lyrics as that song was firmly stuck in my head. So I credit it with saving my life by keeping me awake.

[Nukie 2]

I have a Christmas version of the Exploited's "I Still Believe in Anarchy", I call it "I still believe in Santa Claus"

"I believe... In Santa Claus... let's see you all pogo GOOOO!
 I not ashamed about being a punk, and I don't care, I don't give a damn
 And I don't care about your laws, cos I still believe in Santa Claus

 I-I-I-I'm not afraid
 and I-I-I-I'm not ashamed
 cos I still believe in Santa Claus

Santa Claus he's a big fat man, he gives his gifts across the land
spreading cheer, and spreading joy for every little girl and boy


 I-I-I-I'm not afraid
 and I-I-I-I'm not ashamed
 cos I still believe in Santa Claus

For every little girl and boy he brings them all a Christmas toy
Look in the sky there's Santa's sleigh so have a happy holiday


 I-I-I-I'm not afraid
 and I-I-I-I'm not ashamed
 cos I still believe in Santa Claus"

[retrorussell]

In the old Leo Sayer song "Long Tall Glasses (I Can Dance)" I change "I Can Dance" into "I Can F***".  Since Leo says "I Can Dance" a lot in the song it's kind of funny.  It makes me think he should do a video to the song, busting a nut in the process. 

Sample lyrics:

I was travelin' down the road, feelin' hungry and cold
I saw a sign that said food and drinks for everyone
So naturally I thought I'd take me a look inside
I saw so much food there was water comin' from my eyes.
Yeah there was ham and there was turkey there was caviar
And long tall glasses with wine up to hyar
(Then I add:)
And somebody grabbed me, threw me into a whore
Said "before you can eat, you gotta f*** like Traci Lords"
 

[El Misfit]

yeah. Slipknot's Spit it out
Bout time you got it right
my life ain't so light
<gibberish>
my life is dead
and now i'm lying here in my bed
so what, now?
you Motherf**king F**got?!

[indianasmith]

Made up one about my mother-in-laws evil little booger dog today, to the tune of the old country song THAT SONG IS A'DRIVIN' ME CRAZY:

That dog is a-drivin' me crazy,
I gotta hit her again.
First time I ever smacked her,
It sure made me grin.
She's an ugly little mutt
That smells just like butt,
With an annoying, high-pitched yap -
Would ya give that little booger dog a slap?

[AndyC]

Used to be a regular pastime with my friends and me. We'd take songs and make them filthy. I still do it to this day, without even thinking about it. I just don't do it out loud. Many of the more memorable ones cannot be posted here.

One that goes back about 20 years, and is still a classic, is "Mediate," by INXS. It became "Masturbate."

Masturbate
In a crate
After eight
With your mate
Down at the lake

...and so forth.

We once sat in a bar for about three hours, just taking turns at making up new verses for Tillsonburg, by Stompin' Tom Connors. Many of these verses involved sneaking behind the barn with the farmer's daughter and the events that followed. Three of us just kept going around the table, each singing a verse, followed by the chorus in unison. We actually drew a small crowd.

Indy actually has a few things in common with a math teacher I had in high school. Every year, just before the holidays, he'd pass out a sheet of mathematic-themed Christmas songs and have a little sing-along.

Zero that crazy number
Has a shape that looks like "O"
And if you ever use it
There are things you need to know
Never divide by Zero
If you do you will be sad
Getting a crazy answer
Making your report look bad

But treat Zero as your friend
Use him carefully
Safe to multiply or add
That's the rule for Zero lad

Zero that screwball number
Wants to be a comrade true
But never divide by Zero
Or you'll be getting zero too

It seems to have burned itself into my memory, to have stayed there since the 80s. Actually, it seems strangely appropriate for a teacher named Mr. Clausi.

[Mr. DS]

I insert "anteater" for Hall and Oates "maneater".

[fortunato]

Green Day's "Good Riddance" becomes

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right/I hope you have a good time with my wife

when I'm singing it.