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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Other Topics  |  Off Topic Discussion  |  "The Old Church" - Short Story with Open Ending. How would you end it? « previous next »
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Author Topic: "The Old Church" - Short Story with Open Ending. How would you end it?  (Read 441 times)
JaseSF
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« on: December 09, 2009, 05:27:52 PM »

Here's a small short story I wrote entitled "The Old Church" (I know it's not that great but I thought it might make for an interesting thread). Just for fun, how would you end it?

THE OLD CHURCH by Jason Warren

Beep! Beep!.

"Damn!" said Jan awakened out of her nap by the horn sounding. She looked out the window and cursed under her breath at her neighbor blowing his horn apparently in some damnfool hurry to get somewhere. Then she looked at the time. It was 9:00 a.m. Saturday morning.

"Time I got up anyway" she muttered. She turned on her television and began to flick through the channels finally settling on one of her favourite shows, namely GET SMART. After watching this, a quick shower and a bite to eat for breakfast, she left.

She was headed to the local Comics Shop.

 "Yes the local Comics Shop." Jan thought to herself. Jan had only recently become an avid collector. She decided to give the hobby a try when Babylon 5 creator (being a huge Babylon 5 fan) J. Micheal Straczynski had started writing the comic series RISING STARS. She was amazed by how much she enjoyed the hobby once thinking it was only for little kids.

She turned down Punic Street and crossed over onto Donner Street, and then turned down Church Lane. She always noticed how this area was in decay, was running down, becoming an eyesore in the city..with the exception of the now apparently deserted Coral Cathedral. Its magnificence had lasted throughout the years. No longer used, the old Church was a landmark of sorts. It now seemed almost Gothic and exuded the eerieness of a castle in an old horror movie. It was dark and mysterious. She wondered what this part of town had looked like years past. She imagined a thriving area with a Church that glowed with people and life. Something very different from this dead, dreary thing she stood looking at now.

She couldn't help looking at this area, at the chipped and beaten sidewalk and the pavement that got considerably worse at the top of the hill where a still somewhat major intersection ran through. The shade of the towering Cathedral added a kind of darkness, a tension to this part of the city now. The houses in its shade only added to the foreboding look of it all. Run-down and deserted, it was like they were in the grasp of some slow-eating death.

BUT there was life here, a man suddenly appeared out of a drab and weather-beaten house just across where she she stood looking at the Church. He coughed loudly and stared at her. This made Jan feel most uncomfortable as she imagined him staring at her legs. She was wearing jean shorts and a light blue T-Shirt. This man truly gave Jan the creeps. He wore a white T-Shirt that barely covered his enormous belly. On the T-shirt was written the name of a local watering hole--Haggy's Pub. His hair was mangled and unkempt and he coughed repeatedly in between smoking and chewing on a cigarette. He sat on his doorstop and continued to stare in Jan's direction. Jan decided to take one last look at the Church, its dark atmosphere and gloom which in a strange way she felt fascinated by. She looked once again at the houses in the area--the peeling paint, the drooping windows and then again she noticed the horrible man on the doorstop.

Jan quickly walked away. She speedily turned down John Street and crossed over to Stephen Avenue where THE BAXTER BUILDING was located. That was the name of the local comics shop...named of course after the famous Fantastic Four headquarters. She walked right up to the cashier counter and was handed a cardboard box with her name written on it in dark black ink. She quickly looked at the contents of the box. It contained five new comics--there was RISING STARS by JMS, SIN CITY by Frank Miller, THE INVISIBLES, THE FLASH and ASTRO CITY by Kurt Busiek..

Jan then noticed three young guys at the counter, all in their early twenties like Jan. Jan particularly noticed one of these guys. He was wearing a bandana with the Superman insignia on it, a black frock coat and a pair of black jeans. He was clean shaven and Jan felt very good-looking.  Jan decided to move up to the counter next in line to him as she went to purchase her comics. She felt the tension rise up in her as she moved closer. He went to the checkout and purchased all his comics. Jan feared that would be it--he would buy his comics and leave. BUT to Jan's suprise, after he purchased his comics--he decided to look at the display shelf next to the counter that contained a number of rare and valuable comics. Jan checked her books out and was given two contest entries which she qualified for with her purchase.

"That It??" questioned the cashier.

"Yeah" said Jan. "I notice there are some big changes in GREEN ARROW--what with Kevin Smith writing it and all"

"Oh Yeah" said the cashier. "That book is great"
 
The young man suddenly seemed intersted in what she was saying and finally said.."Kevin Smith is pretty cool, isn't he?"

"Oh yes" Jan said. "You know I don't have the time to do out both these contest entries right now--would you like one??"

"Um..sure" said the guy "Where you headed??"

"Oh I was just going to go for my usual walk before lunch" Jan said

"Where to??" said the guy

"Oh just up past the Coral Cathedral and around the circle" Jan said.

"Why don't I come along" the guy said. "I live in that area. My name's Jim"

"O.K." said Jan

So they left and finally came to Church Lane. There HE was, still sitting there---that man. Chewing on a fresh cigarette, the man stared intensely at Jan and the young man. He suddenly took the cigarette out of his mouth and spat a large loogie on the street and scratched his neck and now stared intensely at the Church. Jan wondered what he was looking at now. Suddenly Jan thought she saw a figure in the high window of the Church. Yes it was a figure... a gray-haired man with spectacles stared down at the creepy man on the doorstep.

Strangely the long climb up Church Lane seemed slower than usual. Tension seemed to be in the air as if something major was about to happen when suddenly the creepy man with the fat beer belly stood up and screamed at the Church. He cursed and shouted towards the man in the window although Jan could pick nothing comprehenisible out of what he said.

"Maybe we should go another way" Jan said to Jim

"Nah" said Jim "It's nothing serious..uh you see I work at the Church. There's someone there I want you to meet"

The creepy fat man stared at Jim and with a scowl he spat a large wad on the pavement and cried out.

"That Monster!" he yelled at first
"That man...he ruined everything. He ate the soul of this town. He's vile I say..vile" he  then said more quietly with a sudden look of sadness in his face. His eyes then became wild and he violently raised his fist in the air at the window. But then as he looked up..his face suddenly became frightful and he suddenly quickly disappeared back inside his rundown little house.

"That's right" shouted Jim. "Get out of here, you crazy old Fool!--you Nut!"

"Now come on" Jim said "There's someone you've just got to meet"

Jim ran up to the entrance of the Church and beckoned for Jan to follow. Jan grasped her bag of comics and slowly stepped towards the entrance of the Church.


WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?
Logged

"This above all: To thine own self be true!"

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