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March 28, 2024, 05:24:44 PM
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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Other Topics  |  Off Topic Discussion  |  Whats The Funniest Thing You've Said Today « previous next »
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Author Topic: Whats The Funniest Thing You've Said Today  (Read 17641 times)
Trevor
Uncle Zombie and Eminent Shitologist
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« Reply #45 on: January 27, 2010, 06:38:13 AM »

And one from Dan: "I shall now fart non-stop."

 Buggedout Buggedout Buggedout BuggedoutBounceGiggle BounceGiggle
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I know I can make it on my own if I try, but I'm searching for the Great Heart
To stand me by, underneath the African sky
A Great Heart to stand me by.
The Burgomaster
Aggravating People Worldwide Since 1964
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« Reply #46 on: January 27, 2010, 06:50:50 AM »

While I was having my cardiac catheterization last week, the cardiologist asked me how I was doing.  I responded, "Great!  They should make this a ride at Disney World."
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"Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone."
Trevor
Uncle Zombie and Eminent Shitologist
B-Movie Kraken
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« Reply #47 on: January 27, 2010, 07:12:38 AM »

While I was having my cardiac catheterization last week, the cardiologist asked me how I was doing.  I responded, "Great!  They should make this a ride at Disney World."

I don't know if I should laugh at that because it's a serious matter but  TeddyR TeddyR

Isn't it amazing how doctors always seem to ask you how you are? My usual reply to mine is if I knew how I was, I wouldn't be here.  Lookingup
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I know I can make it on my own if I try, but I'm searching for the Great Heart
To stand me by, underneath the African sky
A Great Heart to stand me by.
The Burgomaster
Aggravating People Worldwide Since 1964
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
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Karma: 773
Posts: 9036



« Reply #48 on: January 28, 2010, 09:10:08 AM »

This morning I went to cardiac rehab for the first time.  The nurse said, "Remember, no sex for about a month."  I said, "Thank you.  That's more frequently than I usually get it."

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"Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone."
Trevor
Uncle Zombie and Eminent Shitologist
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 2121
Posts: 22714



« Reply #49 on: January 28, 2010, 09:14:47 AM »

This morning I went to cardiac rehab for the first time.  The nurse said, "Remember, no sex for about a month."  I said, "Thank you.  That's more frequently than I usually get it."

 BounceGiggle BounceGiggle
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I know I can make it on my own if I try, but I'm searching for the Great Heart
To stand me by, underneath the African sky
A Great Heart to stand me by.
Rev. Powell
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Click on that globe for 366 Weird Movies


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« Reply #50 on: January 28, 2010, 11:51:11 AM »

This morning I went to cardiac rehab for the first time.  The nurse said, "Remember, no sex for about a month."  I said, "Thank you.  That's more frequently than I usually get it."


Do you think she was coming on to you?  Wink
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AndyC
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« Reply #51 on: January 28, 2010, 02:19:08 PM »

Daughter: "That's a little bit funny."

Wife: "What's a little bit funny?"

Me: "This feeling inside."
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Psycho Circus
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Shake The Faith


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« Reply #52 on: January 28, 2010, 02:20:33 PM »

"He punched me in the ass, because I changed his head".
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El Misfit
[Insert witty here]
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Hi there!


« Reply #53 on: January 28, 2010, 06:27:30 PM »

WAFFLES!
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yeah no.
Psycho Circus
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Shake The Faith


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« Reply #54 on: January 29, 2010, 07:32:38 AM »

WAFFLES!

Waffles, Mardi Gras, Voodoo, stale stuff...

Yeah, yeah, we get it. "FunnyLookingup
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Trevor
Uncle Zombie and Eminent Shitologist
B-Movie Kraken
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« Reply #55 on: January 29, 2010, 07:52:46 AM »

"He punched me in the ass, because I changed his head".

 BounceGiggle BounceGiggle
Logged

I know I can make it on my own if I try, but I'm searching for the Great Heart
To stand me by, underneath the African sky
A Great Heart to stand me by.
Psycho Circus
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 1531
Posts: 12049


Shake The Faith


WWW
« Reply #56 on: January 29, 2010, 07:56:27 AM »

"He punched me in the ass, because I changed his head".

 BounceGiggle BounceGiggle

There's a guy I work with and he has pictures up of him and his son in our office. So, I kept cutting all these different people's heads out of magazines and sticking them over his head.
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Trevor
Uncle Zombie and Eminent Shitologist
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 2121
Posts: 22714



« Reply #57 on: January 29, 2010, 07:57:24 AM »

"I've got to go take a crap."

the sensation of gas building in my guts goes away.

"Then again, maybe not. I guess I'll just go sit on the toilet and see what happens."

 Buggedout BuggedoutTeddyR TeddyR TeddyR
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I know I can make it on my own if I try, but I'm searching for the Great Heart
To stand me by, underneath the African sky
A Great Heart to stand me by.
Vane
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narnia is like compton


« Reply #58 on: January 29, 2010, 01:17:56 PM »

I was walking through the woods the other day (so its not today... sue me) it was a really beautiful area and my friend dubbed these woods - Narnia -  Promptly after he made his declaration i was slapped in the face by a thorn bush. My response was
" Narnia is like Compton "
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i am the walrus
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« Reply #59 on: January 29, 2010, 11:38:43 PM »

"I am so far out to sea on this all I see is plankton"
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Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari?

Si Hoc Legere Scis Nimium Eruditionis Habes
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