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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Other Topics  |  Television  |  THE BEST MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 riffs « previous next »
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Author Topic: THE BEST MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 riffs  (Read 154311 times)
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« Reply #30 on: January 23, 2010, 12:03:39 PM »

Skydivers

"seems like they forgot to have anything happen in this movie"

"So a stranger comes to town, touches nobody's life and leaves."
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« Reply #31 on: January 23, 2010, 06:11:25 PM »

one of my favorite things they did was the sketch from "the begining of the end" with peter graves going to the university of minnesota.  "here is a scene where peter graves goes to the university of minnesota"  "here i am it's minnesota"  "now here is a scene in which peter graves graduates..."




"if this can stop one person from not believing that peter graves went to the university of minnesota it will have been worth it!"
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retrorussell
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« Reply #32 on: January 23, 2010, 06:25:36 PM »

More Peter Graves, in:
PARTS: THE CLONUS HORROR

Dr. Jameson: This could prove to be interesting.
Mike: But I doubt it.

(Richard picks up beer can, sports quizzical expression)
Mike: The little bushman did not understand the significance of the can.
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« Reply #33 on: January 24, 2010, 07:48:15 PM »

These made me laugh:

THE GIRL IN LOVER'S LANE

[Bix is distraught, telling the sheriff how Joyce died in his arms]

BIX: She died so easy...
CROW: Like she'd done it before!
BIX: ...it didn't take very much.
JOEL: All you had to do was murder her!
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"Clive [Barker]'s idea of a great time is to have a nightmare about a woman with three heads and no skin who flays your body with a pitchfork. To give you some idea, NIGHTBREED has over 200 pus monsters, including one guy with a crescent moonhead like the McDonald's commercial and a fat guy with snakes that pop out of his stomach and eat your face off, and these are the GOOD GUYS. These are the people we're supposed to LIKE."-Joe Bob on NIGHTBREED
retrorussell
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« Reply #34 on: January 25, 2010, 04:57:28 AM »

These made me laugh:

THE GIRL IN LOVER'S LANE

[Bix is distraught, telling the sheriff how Joyce died in his arms]

BIX: She died so easy...
CROW: Like she'd done it before!
BIX: ...it didn't take very much.
JOEL: All you had to do was murder her!
TeddyR

ANGEL'S REVENGE:

Crow (tired of the stupid plot and cheesy acting): That's it, I'm giving in and looking at the breasts.

(camera zeroes in on a girl's butt as she climbs a ladder)
Crow: Hey!  You're giving away the plot!

Crow: You know, this was Jim Backus' first film after he died.

(Arthur Godfrey blows a kiss to a singer on the Angels Brigade)
Crow: Burrrrp.
« Last Edit: January 26, 2010, 05:09:47 AM by retrorussell » Logged

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The Burgomaster
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« Reply #35 on: January 25, 2010, 10:41:52 AM »

Eight words:

HE TRIED TO KILL ME WITH A FORKLIFT!

I don't know which episode that's from, but it's funny.

This is from the first episode I ever saw, but I can't remember the movie either.  I think it's the same one where they show twins (or at least two people who resemble each other) and one of the MST crew says, "Van Damme and Van Damme in: Van Damme You All to Hell."

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« Reply #36 on: January 25, 2010, 12:49:19 PM »

ANGEL'S REVENGE:

(camera zeroes in on a girl's butt as she climbs a ladder)
Crow: Hey!  You're giving away the plot!

That line was a classic!
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"Clive [Barker]'s idea of a great time is to have a nightmare about a woman with three heads and no skin who flays your body with a pitchfork. To give you some idea, NIGHTBREED has over 200 pus monsters, including one guy with a crescent moonhead like the McDonald's commercial and a fat guy with snakes that pop out of his stomach and eat your face off, and these are the GOOD GUYS. These are the people we're supposed to LIKE."-Joe Bob on NIGHTBREED
retrorussell
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« Reply #37 on: January 25, 2010, 03:52:25 PM »

This is from the first episode I ever saw, but I can't remember the movie either.  I think it's the same one where they show twins (or at least two people who resemble each other) and one of the MST crew says, "Van Damme and Van Damme in: Van Damme You All to Hell."


Fugitive Alien.  There's a clip of it on page 2, where the forklift incident occurs.
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« Reply #38 on: January 26, 2010, 05:40:59 AM »


Yep!  Also liked:
2 Brigaders (following a potential third, a stuntwoman, by about 4 paces):
Her name's Carrie Grant.  She's the best stunt driver in Hollywood.
Mike: And she's deaf!

(Angels conversing in hideout)
This is Elaine Brenner, she's a friend of mine.  She helped me when I needed her, and we could use her help right now.
Servo: She's flat, but I think we can trust her.

(A model bounces on a trampoline hidden from view, for a photo shoot)
Crow: She's bouncing on Alan Hale's stomach!

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« Reply #39 on: January 27, 2010, 06:48:04 AM »

From the short "Cheating":

Narrator: And there was Mary sitting right in front of you, her head chock full of the answers you needed.
Crow: Split it open now!

Narrator: Was there a shadow of doubt in Miss Grandy's face as she handed back your paper?
Crow: Or was it lust?

Narrator: Somehow, that odd little look Miss Grandy gave you seemed to haunt you.
[As Johnny lies awake in bed, an massive image of Miss Grandy's face appears beside him as he remembers her expression.]
Servo [as Johnny]: Oh, hi Miss Grandy-- EAAAAAAGH! AAAAAAAH! GET AWAY!!!!
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« Reply #40 on: January 30, 2010, 11:59:14 AM »

Any of them refering to weapons being useless against Prince of Space.

The Deadly Bees. (Upon discovering his wife had been killed.)
One day I'll come home, and you'll be dead...Hey Look it!

Can't remember the episode-but Crow comments on an actress' voice
"Her accent changed three times in that sentence."

The Russian Jack Frost epsidoe had me in stiches when I saw it.  But it's been a long time since I watched it. 
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At least, that's what Gary Busey told me...
retrorussell
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« Reply #41 on: February 01, 2010, 10:04:24 PM »

Enjoy, WS!
Small | Large
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« Reply #42 on: February 02, 2010, 12:36:31 AM »

from Eegah!
"watch out for snakes"
trio: Who said that?!

from posture pals:
Who wants to be sacrificed
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retrorussell
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« Reply #43 on: February 06, 2010, 12:50:53 AM »

Body Care And Grooming:

[Shot of young man looking disgusted by slovenly girl's appearance.]
Narrator: Sorry, Miss! We're trying to a film about proper appearance, and, well, you're not exactly the kind to make this guy behave like a human being!
Joel: [bitterly] You know, make him want to grope you and paw at you!

[The slovenly girl is now immaculately dressed and groomed. The camera starts at her head and slowly pans down.]
Narrator: Look at that hair... that skin... that mouth...
Servo [as Narrator]: Those... n-nose.

Narrator: One of these is cleansing cream.
Servo [as Narrator]: One of these is nitric acid. Choose wisely.

[The short closes with the cleaned-up teens going to bed.]
Narrator: And so... the end of a perfect day.
Joel [as Narrator]: An entire day spent grooming.

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« Reply #44 on: February 06, 2010, 08:36:47 AM »

Narrator: One of these is cleansing cream.
Servo [as Narrator]: One of these is nitric acid. Choose wisely.

 BounceGiggle BounceGiggle Thumbup
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As time goes by, you will see
That we're going to be free, you and me
We'll touch the sky
Can you see in your mind's eye that we are one
We're all the same and life is just a simple game.
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