I've saved a lot of these since 2007 because they always make me smile:
Andrew (after the birth of his son)
Them there con-dom things is unnatural city folk magic. I can almost imagine them suffocating mah willy. Besides, yah should see the boys in collared shirts after you hit one with a water con-dom, 'specially one of the ones with the stickum on it
.
Jack: (weird goings on in his home town)
So today we get this headline: Woman charged for assault with knife and pizza.It wouldn't actually seem so weird, but not too long ago we had someone attacking someone with a squeegee and a window screen.
Ghouck: (on Hot Pockets)
I had one of the newer jalapeno flavored ones, which made me crap so hard I actually felt recoil
.
RC Merchant: (on the Freecycle website)
We've helped alot of people out-and we got Jed and Eddie their beds when you moved into our house with it.
Ash (in reply to the above)Wait a minute...
I moved into your house?
Bandlaus: (looking for info)
Dunno where the hell I've stumbled across it, but midget clowns, buxom teens and whippings can't possibly fail to be brilliant.
(Oh, and if there's a strict no-tits policy here, just let me know, and I'll take it down. Ain't that explicit, so I thought it would pass. Potential new-guy-mistake :P )
