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April 18, 2024, 02:56:40 PM
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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Other Topics  |  Off Topic Discussion  |  The truly terrible joke thread « previous next »
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Author Topic: The truly terrible joke thread  (Read 407760 times)
FatFreddysCat
Movies, Metal, Beer!
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« Reply #315 on: October 10, 2011, 08:31:41 AM »
Q: What does a vegetarian zombie eat?

A: Grraaaaaaaaiiiiiinnnnnns!
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Hey, HEY, kids! Check out my way-cool Music and Movie Review blog on HubPages!
http://hubpages.com/@fatfreddyscat
zombie no.one
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Oookaay...
« Reply #316 on: October 10, 2011, 12:36:00 PM »
why shouldn't you wear nuclear pants?

chernobyl fallout
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The Mandela Effect is a Mandela Effect
Mofo Rising
Global Moderator
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My cat can eat a whole watermelon!


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« Reply #317 on: October 14, 2011, 04:48:33 AM »
My first response to the Twilight movies, which I told my little brother, who is used to me saying terrible things.

"I'm not going to see that Twilight movie. If I wanted to hear teen girls screaming, I'd go and shoot up a high school."

It was a joke, I already know I'm going to hell.
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Every dead body that is not exterminated becomes one of them. It gets up and kills. The people it kills, get up and kill.
Flangepart
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« Reply #318 on: October 15, 2011, 11:35:50 AM »
Now if it were me, Mofo, I'd have said "Wouldn't it be easier just to drop yer pants?"
Same effect, no date with the prison system. Well, maybe the local jail...
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"Aggressivlly eccentric, and proud of it!"
Cthulhu
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« Reply #319 on: October 26, 2011, 02:22:29 PM »
So this baby seal walks into a club....
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El Misfit
[Insert witty here]
B-Movie Kraken
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Hi there!
« Reply #320 on: November 23, 2011, 12:12:46 PM »
Want to know a big word?
.
.
.
.
BIG!!!!
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yeah no.
alandhopewell
A NorthCoaster In Texas
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Hey....white women were in season.


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« Reply #321 on: November 23, 2011, 01:56:22 PM »
    Guy walks into a psychiatrist's office, yelling, "DOC, YA GOTTA HELP ME! I'M A TEEPEE, I'M A WIGWAM, I'M A TEEPEE...."

     "Mr. Schwartz, calm down, " says the shrink, "you're TWO TENTS."

     QUERY: What has four legs and chases cats?

     REPLY:  Mrs. Katz and her lawyer.
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If it's true what they say, that GOD created us in His image, then why should we not love creating, and why should we not continue to do so, as carefully and ethically as we can, on whatever scale we're capable of?

     The choice is simple; refuse to create, and refuse to grow, or build, with care and love.
Rev. Powell
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Click on that globe for 366 Weird Movies


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« Reply #322 on: December 19, 2011, 09:19:45 PM »
The Dali Lama walks into a pizza joint and says, "can you make me one with everything?"
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I'll take you places the hand of man has not yet set foot...
The Burgomaster
Aggravating People Worldwide Since 1964
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« Reply #323 on: December 21, 2011, 02:13:30 PM »
Did you hear about the Amish Flu?

There are only two symptoms. First you get a little hoarse, then you get a little buggy.
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"Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone."
Chainsawmidget
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« Reply #324 on: December 22, 2011, 02:05:27 AM »
How many porn stars does it take to screw in a light bulb?

At least two.  The tricky part is getting them in the light bulb.
« Last Edit: December 23, 2011, 02:27:21 PM by Chainsaw midget » Logged
Hammock Rider
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« Reply #325 on: December 22, 2011, 11:39:50 AM »
Hear about Santa and his reindeer landing on top of an outhouse? Santa looked around for a moment, then hollered "No no, Rudolph! I said the SCHMIDT house!"
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Jumping Kings and Making Haste Ain't my Cup of Meat
El Misfit
[Insert witty here]
B-Movie Kraken
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Hi there!
« Reply #326 on: December 22, 2011, 04:05:26 PM »
Did you hear about the dyslexia Satanists who worships Santa?
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yeah no.
Mofo Rising
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My cat can eat a whole watermelon!


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« Reply #327 on: December 29, 2011, 03:00:57 AM »
Hey, did you hear about those corduroy pillows?

They're making headlines!
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Every dead body that is not exterminated becomes one of them. It gets up and kills. The people it kills, get up and kill.
Derf
Crazy Rabbity Thingy
Proofreader
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Lagomorphs: menace or underutilized resource?
« Reply #328 on: December 29, 2011, 08:56:59 AM »
Quote from: Rev. Powell on December 19, 2011, 09:19:45 PM
The Dali Lama walks into a pizza joint and says, "can you make me one with everything?"

To pay for the pizza, the Dali Lama hands the cashier a $50. When the cashier simply puts the money into the register, the Dali Lama asks for his change.

The cashier replies, "Change comes from within."
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"They tap dance not, neither do they fart." --Greensleeves, on the Fig Men of the Imagination, in "Twice Upon a Time."
ChaosTheory
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« Reply #329 on: December 29, 2011, 09:56:14 PM »
Quote from: El Toro Loco on November 23, 2011, 12:12:46 PM
Want to know a big word?
.
.
.
.
BIG!!!!

Oh, I hate myself for laughing at that.


-What did the prism say to the light beam?
-Get bent!
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Through the darkness of future past
The magician longs to see
One chance opts between two worlds
Fire walk with me
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