Bad Movie Logo
"A website to the detriment of good film"
Custom Search
HOMEB-MOVIE REVIEWSREADER REVIEWSFORUMINTERVIEWSUPDATESABOUT
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
Did you miss your activation email?
March 28, 2024, 02:18:42 PM
713356 Posts in 53058 Topics by 7725 Members
Latest Member: wibwao
Badmovies.org Forum  |  Other Topics  |  Off Topic Discussion  |  The truly terrible joke thread « previous next »
Pages: 1 ... 55 56 [57] 58 59 ... 87
Author Topic: The truly terrible joke thread  (Read 405509 times)
Alex
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 1556
Posts: 12604



« Reply #840 on: November 23, 2018, 05:42:24 PM »

I got a compliment on my driving today said a blonde to her friend. There was a note left on my windshield it said “parking fine”.
Logged

But do you understand That none of this will matter Nothing can take your pain away
Svengoolie 3
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: -166
Posts: 5821



« Reply #841 on: November 26, 2018, 12:27:55 AM »

Why did the trump supporter open his mouth and spray azure colored paint into it?

He wanted to try Bluetooth technology.
Logged

The doctor that circumcised Trump threw away the wrong piece.
El Misfit
[Insert witty here]
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 1103
Posts: 12891


Hi there!


« Reply #842 on: November 26, 2018, 12:28:19 PM »

A reporter was doing an article on this fisherman with one arm. So he goes and does the interview with him, seeing how he fishes. The reporter asked if  he feels that he's ridiculed by others, but he says no. The reporter asked if he has caught any interesting fish.
"As a matter of fact I did!" said the fisherman gleefully. "I caught one this big!"
Logged

yeah no.
Alex
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 1556
Posts: 12604



« Reply #843 on: December 01, 2018, 04:55:39 PM »

What were Abe Lincoln's last words?

He didn't have any, his wife was with him until the end.
Logged

But do you understand That none of this will matter Nothing can take your pain away
Svengoolie 3
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: -166
Posts: 5821



« Reply #844 on: December 02, 2018, 06:15:00 AM »

"Other than that,  Mrs.  Lincoln,  would you say it was a good play? "
Logged

The doctor that circumcised Trump threw away the wrong piece.
AoTFan
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 242
Posts: 1396



« Reply #845 on: December 02, 2018, 11:18:20 PM »

My sister keeps asking for help with certain tasks, but I always refuse, because I can't be a brother and assist her at the same time.
« Last Edit: December 03, 2018, 04:02:28 PM by AoTFan » Logged
Svengoolie 3
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: -166
Posts: 5821



« Reply #846 on: December 03, 2018, 06:59:15 PM »

Why are hardcore far right people like raisins?

Both are often in bread.
« Last Edit: December 13, 2018, 08:15:27 PM by Svengoolie 3 » Logged

The doctor that circumcised Trump threw away the wrong piece.
Trevor
Uncle Zombie and Eminent Shitologist
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 2121
Posts: 22713



« Reply #847 on: December 04, 2018, 02:44:05 AM »

My sister keeps asking for help with certain tasks, but I always refuse, because I can't be a brother and assist her at the same time.

*Groan*  BuggedoutBounceGiggle BounceGiggle
Logged

I know I can make it on my own if I try, but I'm searching for the Great Heart
To stand me by, underneath the African sky
A Great Heart to stand me by.
Alex
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 1556
Posts: 12604



« Reply #848 on: December 13, 2018, 05:46:50 PM »

"Have you ever heard of Murphy's Law?"

"Yes."

"What is it?"

"If something can go wrong, then it will."

"Have you ever heard of Cole's Law?"

"No, what is that?"

"Thinly sliced cabbage."
Logged

But do you understand That none of this will matter Nothing can take your pain away
Svengoolie 3
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: -166
Posts: 5821



« Reply #849 on: December 13, 2018, 08:17:05 PM »

A guy was being arrested for vwehicular homicide and yelling at police "What are you arresting me for? That damn libtard jsut stepped right out in front of me! I couldn't stop in time!"

A policeman said "Well, for starters it is his back yard."
Logged

The doctor that circumcised Trump threw away the wrong piece.
Allhallowsday
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 2280
Posts: 20725


Either he's dead or my watch has stopped!


« Reply #850 on: December 13, 2018, 10:26:16 PM »

Mmm. 

Why don't tampons talk...?  Because they're stuck up...   Buggedout Bluesad BounceGiggle
Logged

If you want to view paradise . . . simply look around and view it!
El Misfit
[Insert witty here]
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 1103
Posts: 12891


Hi there!


« Reply #851 on: December 14, 2018, 01:15:47 AM »

Mmm. 

Why don't tampons talk...?  Because they're stuck up...   Buggedout Bluesad BounceGiggle
That joke it terrible. Period.
Logged

yeah no.
Svengoolie 3
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: -166
Posts: 5821



« Reply #852 on: December 14, 2018, 01:24:44 AM »

Little Willy with his gun,
shot his grandmother just for fun.
Mother frowned at her merry lad.
It was the last shell father had.

Little Willy hung his sister.
She was dead before we missed her.
Little willy's just full of tricks.
Ain't he cute? And he's only six!

Willy,  bored with stealing cars,
swiped a rocket and flew to Mars.
There he pursued his normal pattern.
Which is why the Martians now live on Saturn.
Logged

The doctor that circumcised Trump threw away the wrong piece.
Alex
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 1556
Posts: 12604



« Reply #853 on: December 14, 2018, 01:53:06 AM »

Three old ladies are sitting around a table playing bridge and bragging about their sons. “My Freddie,” said Margaret, “Everyone should be so lucky to have a son like my Freddie. Once a week he brings me a huge bouquet of flowers, he’s constantly bringing me out to restaurants to eat, if I so much as hint that I want something the next morning it’s on my doorstep.” “That’s very nice about your Freddie”, says Gertrude. “But with all due respect, when I think about the way my Sammy takes care of me, it just can’t compare. Every morning as soon as I wake up he greets me with bacon and freshly brewed coffee. Every lunch he comes over and cooks me a gourmet lunch, and every supper he brings me to his house for supper, he truly treats me like a queen.” “WELL!” Says Barbara “I don’t want to make any of you feel bad or anything, but wait until you hear about my Harry, twice a week he pays someone $200 an hour just so he can lie on their couch and talk to them, and who do you think he speaks about at those prices? Asks Barbara with a big excited double chin smile, “I’ll tell you who he speaks about! ALL HE SPEAKS ABOUT IS ME!”
Logged

But do you understand That none of this will matter Nothing can take your pain away
Alex
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 1556
Posts: 12604



« Reply #854 on: December 14, 2018, 06:02:23 AM »

A curious child asked his mother: “Mommy, why are some of your hairs turning grey?”

The mother tried to use this occasion to teach her child: “It is because of you, dear. Every bad action of yours will turn one of my hairs grey!”

The child replied innocently: “Now I know why grandmother has only grey hairs on her head.”
Logged

But do you understand That none of this will matter Nothing can take your pain away
Pages: 1 ... 55 56 [57] 58 59 ... 87
Badmovies.org Forum  |  Other Topics  |  Off Topic Discussion  |  The truly terrible joke thread « previous next »
    Jump to:  


    RSS Feed Subscribe Subscribe by RSS
    Email Subscribe Subscribe by Email


    Popular Articles
    How To Find A Bad Movie

    The Champions of Justice

    Plan 9 from Outer Space

    Manos, The Hands of Fate

    Podcast: Todd the Convenience Store Clerk

    Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!

    Dragonball: The Magic Begins

    Cool As Ice

    The Educational Archives: Driver's Ed

    Godzilla vs. Monster Zero

    Do you have a zombie plan?

    FROM THE BADMOVIES.ORG ARCHIVES
    ImageThe Giant Claw - Slime drop

    Earth is visited by a GIANT ANTIMATTER SPACE BUZZARD! Gawk at the amazingly bad bird puppet, or chuckle over the silly dialog. This is one of the greatest b-movies ever made.

    Lesson Learned:
    • Osmosis: os·mo·sis (oz-mo'sis, os-) n., 1. When a bird eats something.

    Subscribe to Badmovies.org and get updates by email:

    HOME B-Movie Reviews Reader Reviews Forum Interviews TV Shows Advertising Information Sideshows Links Contact

    Badmovies.org is owned and operated by Andrew Borntreger. All original content is © 1998 - 2014 by its respective author(s). Image, video, and audio files are used in accordance with the Fair Use Law, and are property of the film copyright holders. You may freely link to any page (.html or .php) on this website, but reproduction in any other form must be authorized by the copyright holder.