Trevor
Proud South African Cinema Activist / Geek
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
Karma: 646
Posts: 8494
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« on: March 01, 2010, 08:28:37 AM » |
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Two guys are swimming in the ocean off Durban, South Africa, when one of them turns around and sees two fins heading towards them. He grabs the other guy and tells him "Look at that!" The other guy goes  and says "If that isn't a 1958 Cadillac, we're in deep sh*t!"  |
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I find I'm so excited that I can barely sit still or hold a thought in my head. I think it's the excitement only a free man can feel. A free man at a start of a long journey whose conclusion is uncertain. I hope I can make it across the border. I hope to see my friend and shake his hand. I hope the Pacific is as blue as it has been in my dreams. I hope.
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El Misfit
The bullsh*t meter is up high ಠ__ಠ
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
Karma: 605
Posts: 9492
I come in pieces
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« Reply #1 on: March 01, 2010, 08:31:06 AM » |
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What is an owl's favorite subject at school? Owlgebra
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yeah no.   |
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Mr. DS
Master Of Cinematic Bowel Movements
B-Movie Kraken
Karma: 1816
Posts: 15183
Get this thread cleaned up or YOU'RE FIRED!!!
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« Reply #2 on: March 01, 2010, 12:40:36 PM » |
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Where does a snowman keep his money?
In a snow bank
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Ed, Ego and Superego
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
Karma: 243
Posts: 2572
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« Reply #3 on: March 01, 2010, 01:25:51 PM » |
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Why don't cannibals like clowns?
They taste funny.
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Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari?
Si Hoc Legere Scis Nimium Eruditionis Habes
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Jack
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
Karma: 884
Posts: 8114
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« Reply #4 on: March 01, 2010, 01:41:56 PM » |
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What's Mary short for?
She's got no legs.
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We must have a psychopathic deviant in the hospital.
Maybe we should report it to the police?
No that's out of the question. A police investigation would give us a bad name.
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El Misfit
The bullsh*t meter is up high ಠ__ಠ
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
Karma: 605
Posts: 9492
I come in pieces
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« Reply #5 on: March 01, 2010, 02:24:45 PM » |
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What did Delaware? Her New Jersey. (Sorry if i hurt anyone's feelings)
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yeah no. |
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Joe the Destroyer
Guest
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« Reply #6 on: March 01, 2010, 02:54:09 PM » |
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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?"
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Silverlady
Bad Movie Lover
Karma: 135
Posts: 968
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« Reply #7 on: March 01, 2010, 03:33:57 PM » |
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If you threw a brunnette and a blonde up in the air which one would come down first?
The brunnette ... the blond would have to stop and ask for directions first.
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Hold onto your dreams ....
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Cthulhu
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
Karma: 252
Posts: 2135
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« Reply #8 on: March 01, 2010, 03:42:26 PM » |
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Why did they bury the indian behind the mountain?
Because he died.
There's an other version of this, too:
Why did they bury the fireman behind the mountain?
Because that's where the cemetery is.
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Mr. DS
Master Of Cinematic Bowel Movements
B-Movie Kraken
Karma: 1816
Posts: 15183
Get this thread cleaned up or YOU'RE FIRED!!!
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« Reply #9 on: March 01, 2010, 04:33:04 PM » |
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Why did Piglet stick his head in the toilet?
He was look for Pooh.
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JJ80
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
Karma: 454
Posts: 6256
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« Reply #10 on: March 01, 2010, 04:58:24 PM » |
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Why did the chewing gum cross the road?
Because it was stuck to the chicken's foot.........
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There are few things more beautiful than a sporting montage with a soft-rock soundtrack
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Sleepyskull
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
Karma: 170
Posts: 1092
Well,well,well...
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« Reply #11 on: March 01, 2010, 05:14:01 PM » |
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A man walks into a bar. He said, "OUCH!"
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Humanity takes itself too seriously. It is the world`s original sin. - Oscar Wilde
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Allhallowsday
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
Karma: 1411
Posts: 9706
Either he's dead or my watch has stopped!
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« Reply #12 on: March 01, 2010, 05:41:14 PM » |
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A man walks into a cafe and orders a cup of coffee, no cream. A moment later, the waiter comes back and says, "We're out of cream. Can it be no milk?"
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If you want to view paradise . . . simply look around and view it!
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Paquita
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
Karma: 296
Posts: 1322
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« Reply #13 on: March 01, 2010, 06:54:43 PM » |
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A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants. The bartender asks "Hey, why do you got a steering wheel on your pants?" and the pirate says "Arr! It's drivin' me nuts!"  |
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Saucerman
Opinionated Blowhard Par Excellence
B-Movie Site Webmaster
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
Karma: 192
Posts: 1246
Hypnotic, ain't it?
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« Reply #14 on: March 01, 2010, 07:27:26 PM » |
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This one's for Indianasmith...
Q: Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
A: Because they have big fingers.
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