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March 28, 2024, 08:52:53 AM
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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Other Topics  |  Off Topic Discussion  |  The truly terrible joke thread « previous next »
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Author Topic: The truly terrible joke thread  (Read 405468 times)
SPazzo
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My kinda toy...


« Reply #15 on: March 01, 2010, 07:43:50 PM »

Two peanuts walk down a dark alley.  One was assaulted.
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Sleepyskull
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Posts: 1092


Well,well,well...


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« Reply #16 on: March 01, 2010, 08:07:58 PM »

Wanna hear a dirty joke?

Two white horses fell in the mud. They got dirty.


How many dead babies does it take to shingle a roof?

It depends on how thin you slice them.



How many dead babies does it take to make 10 pounds of rib meat?


It depends on whether you're making it "jerky" style.


« Last Edit: March 01, 2010, 08:12:31 PM by Sleepyskull » Logged

Humanity takes itself too seriously. It is the world`s original sin. - Oscar Wilde
indianasmith
Archeologist, Theologian, Elder Scrolls Addict, and a
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A good bad movie is like popcorn for the soul!


« Reply #17 on: March 01, 2010, 10:48:29 PM »

OH NO YOU DIDN'T!!!!


What's grosser than ten dead babies in one garbage can?

One dead baby in ten garbage cans!

How do you unload a truckful of dead babies?

PITCHFORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BounceGiggle BounceGiggle BounceGiggle
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"I shall smite you in the nostrils with a rod of iron, and wax your spleen with Efferdent!!"
Ed, Ego and Superego
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Posts: 3016



« Reply #18 on: March 02, 2010, 12:07:29 AM »

What is brown and sticky?

A stick
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Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari?

Si Hoc Legere Scis Nimium Eruditionis Habes
indianasmith
Archeologist, Theologian, Elder Scrolls Addict, and a
B-Movie Kraken
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Karma: 2591
Posts: 15182


A good bad movie is like popcorn for the soul!


« Reply #19 on: March 02, 2010, 12:18:12 AM »

These two guys walk into a bar, right?

Which is really stupid - if the first one walked into it, the second one should have seen it!
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"I shall smite you in the nostrils with a rod of iron, and wax your spleen with Efferdent!!"
Joe the Destroyer
Guest
« Reply #20 on: March 02, 2010, 01:01:17 AM »

A dyslexic man walks into a bra...

---

Why do babies have soft spots on their heads? 
So the nurses can carry five out on a hand if there's a fire in the hospital.

---

What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.

---

What do emo kids use as birth control?
Their personalities.
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Trevor
Uncle Zombie and Eminent Shitologist
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« Reply #21 on: March 02, 2010, 01:23:09 AM »

Two peanuts walk down a dark alley.  One was assaulted.

 BounceGiggle BounceGiggle BounceGiggle
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I know I can make it on my own if I try, but I'm searching for the Great Heart
To stand me by, underneath the African sky
A Great Heart to stand me by.
Trevor
Uncle Zombie and Eminent Shitologist
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« Reply #22 on: March 02, 2010, 01:24:11 AM »

A dyslexic man walks into a bra...

 BounceGiggle BounceGiggle BounceGiggle
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I know I can make it on my own if I try, but I'm searching for the Great Heart
To stand me by, underneath the African sky
A Great Heart to stand me by.
Trevor
Uncle Zombie and Eminent Shitologist
B-Movie Kraken
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Posts: 22709



« Reply #23 on: March 02, 2010, 06:14:09 AM »

A chicken crosses the road and meets up with James Bond.

Chicken: "What's your name?"
JB: "Bond. James Bond. And yours?"
Chicken: "Ken. Chic Ken."

 Buggedout Buggedout
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I know I can make it on my own if I try, but I'm searching for the Great Heart
To stand me by, underneath the African sky
A Great Heart to stand me by.
Mr. DS
Master Of Cinematic Bowel Movements
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Get this thread cleaned up or YOU'RE FIRED!!!


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« Reply #24 on: March 02, 2010, 08:53:38 AM »

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Hey, why the long face..."

What has four wheels and flies?  A Garbage Truck

And one for Trevor...Whats grosser than gross?  Throwing your underwear at the wall and it sticks to the wall.  Whats grosser than that?  Coming back one hour later and finding the underwear two feet up the wall.   TeddyR
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Mr. DS
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Get this thread cleaned up or YOU'RE FIRED!!!


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« Reply #25 on: March 02, 2010, 08:55:14 AM »

Two peanuts walk down a dark alley.  One was assaulted.

 BounceGiggle BounceGiggle BounceGiggle
That took me longer than it should have to get.
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DarkSider's Realm
http://darksidersrealm.blogspot.com/

"You think the honey badger cares?  It doesn't give a sh*t."  Randall
Trevor
Uncle Zombie and Eminent Shitologist
B-Movie Kraken
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Posts: 22709



« Reply #26 on: March 02, 2010, 09:04:11 AM »

And one for Trevor...Whats grosser than gross?  Throwing your underwear at the wall and it sticks to the wall.  Whats grosser than that?  Coming back one hour later and finding the underwear two feet up the wall.   TeddyR

 Buggedout BuggedoutBounceGiggle BounceGiggle BounceGiggle TeddyR
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I know I can make it on my own if I try, but I'm searching for the Great Heart
To stand me by, underneath the African sky
A Great Heart to stand me by.
Trevor
Uncle Zombie and Eminent Shitologist
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 2121
Posts: 22709



« Reply #27 on: March 02, 2010, 09:06:25 AM »

Q: What is the definition of high speed?

A: Skid marks by the toilet door.

 TeddyR Wink
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I know I can make it on my own if I try, but I'm searching for the Great Heart
To stand me by, underneath the African sky
A Great Heart to stand me by.
retrorussell
In the town of Valentine Bluffs, there are many ways to die. Take your pick.
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Hanniger! I'll be waiting in HELL for you!


« Reply #28 on: March 02, 2010, 09:45:14 AM »

3 sisters die and meet at the pearly gates.  St. Peter greets them and tells them they must each answer a question correctly in order to pass.
The first sister approaches.
"Who was the first woman created?"
"Eve."
A bell sounds.  DING!  She is granted passage.
The second sister approaches.
"Who was the first man created?"
"Adam."
DING!  She is granted passage.
The third sister approaches.
"What were the first words Eve said to Adam?"
"Gee.. that's a hard one..."
DING!
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"O the legend they say, on a Valentine's Day, is a curse that'll live on and on.."
zombie no.one
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
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Karma: 666
Posts: 5111


Oookaay...


« Reply #29 on: March 02, 2010, 11:43:35 AM »

A man walks into a cafe and orders a cup of coffee, no cream.  A moment later, the waiter comes back and says, "We're out of cream.  Can it be no milk?"
lol, I like this one.


one for UK residents:

what's worse than a dog eating your slipper?

a killer whale eating your trainer
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The Mandela Effect is a Mandela Effect
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