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November 21, 2014, 07:33:43 PM
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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Other Topics  |  Off Topic Discussion  |  The truly terrible joke thread « previous next »
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Author Topic: The truly terrible joke thread  (Read 51253 times)
Jack
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« Reply #405 on: December 20, 2012, 07:48:45 AM »

Why do they always boil water when a woman is giving birth?
In case it's stillborn, they can make stew.
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"I fear the day that technology will surpass our human interaction. The world will have a generation of idiots." - Albert Einstein
lester1/2jr
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« Reply #406 on: December 20, 2012, 09:29:22 AM »

What did George Washington say to his men before they got on their horses? Men, get on your horses.
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Ed, Ego and Superego
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« Reply #407 on: December 27, 2012, 01:12:49 PM »

Whats orange and sounds like a parrot?




A carrot
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El Misfit
The bullsh*t meter is up high ಠ__ಠ
B-Movie Kraken
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Listen here you little s**t.


« Reply #408 on: January 07, 2013, 04:32:53 PM »

So a priest, a rabbi, and a Hindu walks into a bar, they now all have bruises on their foreheads.
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yeah no.
indianasmith
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A good bad movie is like popcorn for the soul!


« Reply #409 on: January 07, 2013, 05:04:41 PM »

What did ben Franklin say to Thomas Jefferson in the bathroom on July 4, 1776?

"America, you're a nation!"  (say it fast) TeddyR
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"Carpe diem!" - Seize the day!  "Carpe per diem!" - Seize the daily living allowance! "Carpe carp!" - Seize the fish!
"Carpe Ngo Diem!" - Seize the South Vietnamese Dictator!
El Misfit
The bullsh*t meter is up high ಠ__ಠ
B-Movie Kraken
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Listen here you little s**t.


« Reply #410 on: January 07, 2013, 07:32:01 PM »

I already posted this in the Grinds my Gears thread, but it's still funny  TeddyR
I sincerely hate it when you compliment on a nice mustache...and then she's not your friend anymore!  Hatred TongueOut

Whats Beethovens favorite fruit? BANANANAAAAA!!


How do you cook toilet paper?
You brown it first, then put it in the bowl. TongueOut

What's the difference between kinky and perverted?
Kinky is when you use a feather, perverted is when you use the whole chicken.

And finally, a pun pic

« Last Edit: January 07, 2013, 07:45:03 PM by El Misfit » Logged

yeah no.
El Misfit
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Listen here you little s**t.


« Reply #411 on: January 17, 2013, 08:44:05 PM »

A guy meets a hooker in a bar. She says, “This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for $300, as long as you can say it in three words.” The guy replies, “Hey, why not?” He pull his wallet out of his pocket, and one at a time lays three hundred-dollar bills on the bar, and says, slowly: “Paint…my…house.”

Question: What’s the difference between “Beer Nuts” and “Deer Nuts”? Answer: “Beer Nuts” are a dollar twenty-five and “Deer Nuts” are under a buck
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yeah no.
JoeTheDestroyer
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« Reply #412 on: January 17, 2013, 09:10:24 PM »

Someone stole all of the toilets out of the local police department.  Cops have nothing to go on.

The same crook allegedly cut a hole in a nearby nudist colony's fence.  Police are looking into it.
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Allhallowsday
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Either he's dead or my watch has stopped!


« Reply #413 on: January 19, 2013, 11:15:03 PM »

How is a politician like a BANANA? 
They start out GREEN. 
Then, they turn YELLOW. 
By the time they're done... rotten! 
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« Reply #414 on: January 21, 2013, 04:04:00 PM »

How is a politician like a BANANA? 
They start out GREEN. 
Then, they turn YELLOW. 
By the time they're done... rotten! 

Amen to that one, friend.  BounceGiggle
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« Reply #415 on: January 21, 2013, 04:08:11 PM »


So, let's see....Jimmy Carter, Ted Kennedy and Bill Clinton decide to rob a bank.

Jimmy Carter says "OK, let's open the safe and tie up the tellers.."
Bill Clinton says "What about the women and children"?
Jimmy Carter says "Aww..screw the women and children!"
Ted Kennedy says, "Jimmy, please don't give Bill and ideas again!"
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Allhallowsday
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Either he's dead or my watch has stopped!


« Reply #416 on: January 22, 2013, 01:58:21 PM »

When is a door not a door?  When it's ajar. 
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Jack
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« Reply #417 on: January 22, 2013, 02:20:05 PM »

So a dyslexic guy walks into a bra...
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"I fear the day that technology will surpass our human interaction. The world will have a generation of idiots." - Albert Einstein
El Misfit
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Listen here you little s**t.


« Reply #418 on: January 22, 2013, 02:21:35 PM »

So a dyslexic guy walks into a bra...
and he's Satanic, he worships Santa. TongueOut
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yeah no.
indianasmith
Archeologist, Theologian, Elder Scrolls Addict, and a
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Karma: 1411
Posts: 8326


A good bad movie is like popcorn for the soul!


« Reply #419 on: January 22, 2013, 05:51:49 PM »

He saw a robber coming into the bank and said "Look out! He's got a nug!!!"
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"Carpe diem!" - Seize the day!  "Carpe per diem!" - Seize the daily living allowance! "Carpe carp!" - Seize the fish!
"Carpe Ngo Diem!" - Seize the South Vietnamese Dictator!
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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Other Topics  |  Off Topic Discussion  |  The truly terrible joke thread « previous next »
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