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September 02, 2014, 09:23:27 AM
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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Other Topics  |  Off Topic Discussion  |  The truly terrible joke thread « previous next »
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Author Topic: The truly terrible joke thread  (Read 48126 times)
Umaril Has Returned
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« Reply #420 on: January 23, 2013, 10:13:32 PM »

When is a door not a door?  When it's ajar. 

Oooooooo....... TongueOut
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Trevor
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« Reply #421 on: January 24, 2013, 03:06:19 AM »

When is a clean pair of undies not clean.

When it belongs to Trevor.  Twirling Wink
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Chainsaw midget
Just Another Guy
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« Reply #422 on: January 24, 2013, 01:37:02 PM »

A man goes into a butcher shop and says, "I bet ya $350 that you can't reach that piece of meat," pointing at a cut of beef hanging just slightly above the butcher.  The butcher looks up and says, "No way."

The guy says, "Why not?"

The butcher says, "The steaks are too high!"
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Rev. Powell
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Click on that globe for 366 Weird Movies


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« Reply #423 on: January 24, 2013, 03:04:23 PM »

Wanna hear a joke about my penis?

Nevermind, it's too long...
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"The best parts are watching Sly go through the full range of emotions: deadpan, deadpan with raised eyebrow, deadpan with quivering lip. There's also a great sequence where Sly drives his VW Beetle down the interstate for about 20 minutes, staring dramatically through the windshield.."-Joe Bob on A MAN CALLED RAMBO
El Misfit
The bullsh*t meter is up high ಠ__ಠ
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Listen here you little s**t.


« Reply #424 on: January 24, 2013, 05:26:45 PM »

Wanna hear a joke about my penis?

Nevermind, it's too long...

Really, that seems to be short. Wink
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yeah no.
indianasmith
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A good bad movie is like popcorn for the soul!


« Reply #425 on: January 24, 2013, 08:55:10 PM »

Did you hear about the kidnapping?


It's OK, he woke up! BounceGiggle
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"Carpe diem!" - Seize the day!  "Carpe per diem!" - Seize the daily living allowance! "Carpe carp!" - Seize the fish!
"Carpe Ngo Diem!" - Seize the South Vietnamese Dictator!
Umaril Has Returned
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« Reply #426 on: January 24, 2013, 09:34:36 PM »


One of the Three Stooges started his own landscaping business...he Moes lawns....
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Mofo Rising
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My cat can eat a whole watermelon!


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« Reply #427 on: January 25, 2013, 04:06:51 AM »

Wanna hear a joke about my penis?

Nevermind, it's too long...

Really, that seems to be short. Wink

I heard about that joke online, and really I can not verify that anybody has had a hands-on experience other than the original poster.
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Every dead body that is not exterminated becomes one of them. It gets up and kills. The people it kills, get up and kill.
El Misfit
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Listen here you little s**t.


« Reply #428 on: March 22, 2013, 09:16:42 PM »

When I found out that my toaster wasn't waterproof, I was Shocked!

Never trust an atom, they make up everything!

Why did the bicycle fall down? It was two tired.
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yeah no.
indianasmith
Archeologist, Theologian, Elder Scrolls Addict, and a
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
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Karma: 1389
Posts: 8113


A good bad movie is like popcorn for the soul!


« Reply #429 on: March 22, 2013, 11:44:27 PM »

I saw a thirtysomething guy sitting on a park bench watching the children play.
I asked; "Which one of them is yours?"
He said: "I haven't decided yet."  Buggedout Buggedout Buggedout
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"Carpe diem!" - Seize the day!  "Carpe per diem!" - Seize the daily living allowance! "Carpe carp!" - Seize the fish!
"Carpe Ngo Diem!" - Seize the South Vietnamese Dictator!
Umaril Has Returned
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« Reply #430 on: March 23, 2013, 11:52:56 AM »

A window fan and vacuum cleaner were having an argument one time:

"You suck!" said the window fan.


"Oh yeah"? said the vacuum cleaner, "well you can blow me"!
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Umaril Has Returned
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« Reply #431 on: March 23, 2013, 11:57:50 AM »


While they were waiting to be served up, a hotdog was laying on a plate next to a pair of rolls on the counter top. 

The hotdog looks over at the rolls and says, "nice buns".
The one roll looks at the hotdog and says "what a weenie"....
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indianasmith
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Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
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Karma: 1389
Posts: 8113


A good bad movie is like popcorn for the soul!


« Reply #432 on: April 04, 2013, 08:05:17 PM »

From one of my students:

"Did you know that if you watch CINDERELLA backwards, you get to see the story of a woman who learns her place in life?"
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"Carpe diem!" - Seize the day!  "Carpe per diem!" - Seize the daily living allowance! "Carpe carp!" - Seize the fish!
"Carpe Ngo Diem!" - Seize the South Vietnamese Dictator!
Trevor
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« Reply #433 on: April 05, 2013, 12:49:43 AM »

From one of my students:

"Did you know that if you watch CINDERELLA backwards, you get to see the story of a woman who learns her place in life?"

 TeddyR TeddyR

That reminds me of the comment Stephen King made concerning the devil child in Rosemary's Baby that little Andy would need a custom made baseball cap later in life to accommodate his horns.  TeddyR
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El Misfit
The bullsh*t meter is up high ಠ__ಠ
B-Movie Kraken
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Karma: 734
Posts: 10591


Listen here you little s**t.


« Reply #434 on: April 05, 2013, 09:06:57 PM »

From one of my students:

"Did you know that if you watch CINDERELLA backwards, you get to see the story of a woman who learns her place in life?"

If you watch Titanic backwards, it's about a magical ship that comes from the sea to help people.

If you watch Twilight backwards, it's still crap.
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yeah no.
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