Bad Movie Logo
"A website to the detriment of good film"
Custom Search
HOMEB-MOVIE REVIEWSREADER REVIEWSFORUMINTERVIEWSUPDATESABOUT
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
Did you miss your activation email?
November 28, 2014, 03:37:56 AM
538276 Posts in 40754 Topics by 5133 Members
Latest Member: FireryMomma
Badmovies.org Forum  |  Other Topics  |  Off Topic Discussion  |  The truly terrible joke thread « previous next »
Pages: 1 ... 29 30 [31] 32 33 ... 36
Author Topic: The truly terrible joke thread  (Read 51563 times)
El Misfit
The bullsh*t meter is up high ಠ__ಠ
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 740
Posts: 10626


Listen here you little s**t.


« Reply #450 on: June 04, 2013, 02:46:03 PM »

Here's a joke- "Light Beer. Might as well call it Diet Alcoholic Water."

Thank you dad!
Logged

yeah no.
Umaril Has Returned
Guest
« Reply #451 on: June 04, 2013, 06:07:50 PM »


A duck went into a bar and after ordering a round for the entire tavern, he told the bartender to put it on his bill.....
Logged
indianasmith
Archeologist, Theologian, Elder Scrolls Addict, and a
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 1417
Posts: 8348


A good bad movie is like popcorn for the soul!


« Reply #452 on: June 04, 2013, 06:18:08 PM »

The day after the shuttle Challenger blew up, one of the guys on my ship was telling this:

"What does NASA stand for?"
"Need another seven astronauts!"

We really dogged on him for it at the time, but 30 years later it is kinda funny.
Logged

"Carpe diem!" - Seize the day!  "Carpe per diem!" - Seize the daily living allowance! "Carpe carp!" - Seize the fish!
"Carpe Ngo Diem!" - Seize the South Vietnamese Dictator!
Umaril Has Returned
Guest
« Reply #453 on: June 05, 2013, 12:52:06 AM »


One time a guy pulled into this bar and saw a sign that said "Parking In The Rear" and decided to go in until he realized that was the name of the bar...

The German word for 'bra" is "Shtoppemfromfloppen".

A ditty bag is what you put your ditties in. If you have bigger ditties, you'll need a bigger ditty bag...


Logged
Trevor
Chief Troublemaker at Badmovies.org
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 895
Posts: 11232



WWW
« Reply #454 on: June 05, 2013, 02:14:42 AM »

Th worst joke I have ever heard is Shane Black's terrible joke to Sonny Landham in Predator: the one about the echo.  BuggedoutTeddyR TeddyR
Logged
Mofo Rising
Global Moderator
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 438
Posts: 3151


My cat can eat a whole watermelon!


WWW
« Reply #455 on: June 05, 2013, 03:05:40 AM »

Why do women wear makeup and perfume?

Because they're ugly and smelly!

(My apologies to women, but truthfully, they're the only people who ever laugh at that joke.)
« Last Edit: June 05, 2013, 03:11:37 AM by Mofo Rising » Logged

Every dead body that is not exterminated becomes one of them. It gets up and kills. The people it kills, get up and kill.
Chainsaw midget
Just Another Guy
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 256
Posts: 1872



« Reply #456 on: June 07, 2013, 01:03:05 AM »

Hey!  Have you heard the joke that they don't tell morons?  



Logged

Terms & Conditions:  By reading this signature, you, the reader willfully acknowledge that you owe me a dollar.
Javakoala
Unsung Hero Of The Whimpering Trilobites
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 120
Posts: 2715



WWW
« Reply #457 on: June 09, 2013, 05:58:40 AM »

Hey!  Have you heard the joke that they don't tell morons?  


Along those lines:

How do you keep a moron in suspense?

I'll tell you later.
Logged

I have been told that I crap on everything everyone else loves. Just be thankful I can't give you an Oklahoma Nipple Twist through the Internet.
Javakoala
Unsung Hero Of The Whimpering Trilobites
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 120
Posts: 2715



WWW
« Reply #458 on: June 09, 2013, 06:00:29 AM »

If I had a nickel for every time I said "If I had a nickel...", I'd be ten cents richer now.
Logged

I have been told that I crap on everything everyone else loves. Just be thankful I can't give you an Oklahoma Nipple Twist through the Internet.
Rev. Powell
Global Moderator
B-Movie Kraken
****

Karma: 1813
Posts: 14662


Click on that globe for 366 Weird Movies


WWW
« Reply #459 on: June 27, 2013, 12:07:58 PM »

An Eskimo takes his car to the mechanic.

Mechanic says, "It looks like you blew a seal."

Eskimo says "No, that's just frost on my mustache."
Logged

"The best parts are watching Sly go through the full range of emotions: deadpan, deadpan with raised eyebrow, deadpan with quivering lip. There's also a great sequence where Sly drives his VW Beetle down the interstate for about 20 minutes, staring dramatically through the windshield.."-Joe Bob on A MAN CALLED RAMBO
ER
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 298
Posts: 1760



« Reply #460 on: June 27, 2013, 12:58:08 PM »

A sadist and a masochist meet.

The masochist says, "Hurt me!"

The sadist says, "No."
Logged

Seeking Tir a 'nOg since 1978.
Jack
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 1053
Posts: 9644



« Reply #461 on: June 27, 2013, 01:35:50 PM »

Ever seen a plastic a** hole?

Give me your driver's license and I'll show you one.
Logged

"I fear the day that technology will surpass our human interaction. The world will have a generation of idiots." - Albert Einstein
Umaril Has Returned
Guest
« Reply #462 on: June 27, 2013, 01:54:38 PM »

 A fan and a vacuum cleaner were having an argument:

"You suck!" said the fan.

"Oh yeah, well blow me!" said the vacuum cleaner   Cheers

Logged
Chainsaw midget
Just Another Guy
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 256
Posts: 1872



« Reply #463 on: June 27, 2013, 07:58:28 PM »

You know, it's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs.  They always take things literally. 
Logged

Terms & Conditions:  By reading this signature, you, the reader willfully acknowledge that you owe me a dollar.
Umaril Has Returned
Guest
« Reply #464 on: June 29, 2013, 10:54:56 AM »

Th worst joke I have ever heard is Shane Black's terrible joke to Sonny Landham in Predator: the one about the echo.  BuggedoutTeddyR TeddyR

Oh yes....the one where Sonny breaks out laughter after Black explains the punch line to him.  Not to mention the one he told at the beginning, where hae says he asks his girlfriend for a little ***sy and she says "me too, mine's a s big as a house!".
Logged
Pages: 1 ... 29 30 [31] 32 33 ... 36
Badmovies.org Forum  |  Other Topics  |  Off Topic Discussion  |  The truly terrible joke thread « previous next »
    Jump to:  


    RSS Feed Subscribe Subscribe by RSS
    Email Subscribe Subscribe by Email


    Popular Articles
    How To Find A Bad Movie

    The Champions of Justice

    Plan 9 from Outer Space

    Manos, The Hands of Fate

    Podcast: Todd the Convenience Store Clerk

    Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!

    Dragonball: The Magic Begins

    Cool As Ice

    The Educational Archives: Driver's Ed

    Godzilla vs. Monster Zero

    Do you have a zombie plan?

    FROM THE BADMOVIES.ORG ARCHIVES
    ImageThe Giant Claw - Slime drop

    Earth is visited by a GIANT ANTIMATTER SPACE BUZZARD! Gawk at the amazingly bad bird puppet, or chuckle over the silly dialog. This is one of the greatest b-movies ever made.

    Lesson Learned:
    • Osmosis: os·mo·sis (oz-mo'sis, os-) n., 1. When a bird eats something.

    Subscribe to Badmovies.org and get updates by email:

    HOME B-Movie Reviews Reader Reviews Forum Interviews TV Shows Advertising Information Sideshows Links Contact

    Badmovies.org is owned and operated by Andrew Borntreger. All original content is © 1998 - 2014 by its respective author(s). Image, video, and audio files are used in accordance with the Fair Use Law, and are property of the film copyright holders. You may freely link to any page (.html or .php) on this website, but reproduction in any other form must be authorized by the copyright holder.