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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Other Topics  |  Off Topic Discussion  |  The truly terrible joke thread « previous next »
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Author Topic: The truly terrible joke thread  (Read 408023 times)
Trevor
Uncle Zombie and Eminent Shitologist
B-Movie Kraken
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Posts: 22769
« Reply #690 on: January 24, 2018, 03:02:32 AM »
Quote from: indianasmith on December 23, 2017, 11:34:36 PM
"Do we need any other mole parts, or just molasses?" 

 Buggedout +  BounceGiggle BounceGiggle
Logged
I know I can make it on my own if I try, but I'm searching for the Great Heart
To stand me by, underneath the African sky
A Great Heart to stand me by.
Alex
B-Movie Kraken
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Karma: 1558
Posts: 12655
« Reply #691 on: January 24, 2018, 01:43:52 PM »
Two brothers were arrested by the police today. They found one drinking battery acid while the other was eating fireworks.

In the end, they charged one but let the other off.





My girlfriend thinks I am pretentious. She walked in on me the other day while I was reading a book on existential philosophy and said "Oh my god! Are you for real?"

I answered "Well that's what I am trying to figure out."
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But do you understand That none of this will matter Nothing can take your pain away
RCMerchant
Bela
B-Movie Kraken
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Posts: 30506


"Charlie,we're in HELL!"-"yeah,ain't it groovy?!"


WWW
« Reply #692 on: January 25, 2018, 05:13:53 PM »
You know whats the difference between a chick pea and a garbonzo bean?

I've never had a garbonzo bean on my face!

  Buggedout
Logged
"Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)
Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."

Slobber, Drool, Drip!
https://www.tumblr.com/ronmerchant
Alex
B-Movie Kraken
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Karma: 1558
Posts: 12655
« Reply #693 on: January 25, 2018, 05:29:17 PM »
Hey teenagers, I have a tide pod challange for you!

Put one in a washing machine and do the damn laundry.
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But do you understand That none of this will matter Nothing can take your pain away
AoTFan
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 242
Posts: 1396
« Reply #694 on: February 01, 2018, 08:39:25 PM »
The police officer told me that anything I said can and would be held against me.

I said, "BOOBIES!!"

And they were like, "Damn, you're good!"
« Last Edit: February 02, 2018, 08:31:32 PM by AoTFan » Logged
ER
B-Movie Kraken
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Karma: 1761
Posts: 13479


The sleep of reasoner breeds monsters. (sic)
« Reply #695 on: February 02, 2018, 12:37:33 PM »
My six-year-old told me this one...

Why was the computer tired when he got home?

(Because he had a hard drive.)
Logged
What does not kill me makes me stranger.
ER
B-Movie Kraken
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Karma: 1761
Posts: 13479


The sleep of reasoner breeds monsters. (sic)
« Reply #696 on: February 06, 2018, 10:13:03 AM »
An Irishman went into the pub with his wife, and after a few pints he remarked, "My God in Heaven, how I do love you, my dear!"

His wife blushed and asked, "Gosh, is that you or the beer that's talking?"

The Irishman said, "I'm talking TO the beer..."
Logged
What does not kill me makes me stranger.
Pacman000
Guest
« Reply #697 on: February 06, 2018, 10:28:29 AM »
Quote from: AoTFan on February 01, 2018, 08:39:25 PM
The police officer told me that anything I said can and would be held against me.

I said, "BOOBIES!!"

And they were like, "Damn, you're good!"

Que?



(Pic From: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Blue-footed_Booby_Comparison.jpg Licensed as CC-Attribution-Share Alike)
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AoTFan
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 242
Posts: 1396
« Reply #698 on: February 06, 2018, 09:34:38 PM »
Quote from: Pacman000 on February 06, 2018, 10:28:29 AM
Quote from: AoTFan on February 01, 2018, 08:39:25 PM
The police officer told me that anything I said can and would be held against me.

I said, "BOOBIES!!"

And they were like, "Damn, you're good!"

Que?



(Pic From: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Blue-footed_Booby_Comparison.jpg Licensed as CC-Attribution-Share Alike)

Weird.. I didn't know there were birds called boobies.  I DID know there were birds called tits though.  



Whoever names birds seems to be preoccupied with something...
« Last Edit: February 09, 2018, 08:49:21 AM by AoTFan » Logged
RCMerchant
Bela
B-Movie Kraken
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Karma: 0
Posts: 30506


"Charlie,we're in HELL!"-"yeah,ain't it groovy?!"


WWW
« Reply #699 on: February 06, 2018, 10:15:30 PM »
What happens when the world stops revolving?  Smile

DEATH
Logged
"Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)
Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."

Slobber, Drool, Drip!
https://www.tumblr.com/ronmerchant
El Misfit
[Insert witty here]
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 1104
Posts: 12901


Hi there!
« Reply #700 on: February 07, 2018, 05:24:19 PM »
Why did the blind man fall into the well?
He didn't see that well.
Logged
yeah no.
RCMerchant
Bela
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 0
Posts: 30506


"Charlie,we're in HELL!"-"yeah,ain't it groovy?!"


WWW
« Reply #701 on: February 07, 2018, 05:56:05 PM »
How many Polacks does it take to turn in a light bulb?  Question

NONE. I MURDERED THEM IN THEIR SLEEP.

 BounceGiggle
Logged
"Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)
Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."

Slobber, Drool, Drip!
https://www.tumblr.com/ronmerchant
RCMerchant
Bela
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 0
Posts: 30506


"Charlie,we're in HELL!"-"yeah,ain't it groovy?!"


WWW
« Reply #702 on: February 07, 2018, 06:51:32 PM »
What's RED and WHITE and screams in a blender!





A big headline, boys! Print it on Page ONE!

 BounceGiggle

That one even kils me. I been making these jokes up-but that one was funny!  BounceGiggle
Logged
"Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)
Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."

Slobber, Drool, Drip!
https://www.tumblr.com/ronmerchant
Alex
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 1558
Posts: 12655
« Reply #703 on: February 09, 2018, 04:31:04 AM »
How does Moses make teas?
Hebrews.



I found an origami porn channel.
Shame its paper view only.


When the Titanic sank almost all of the zodiac signs managed to survive.
All except Leo.
« Last Edit: February 09, 2018, 04:34:43 AM by Dark Alex » Logged
But do you understand That none of this will matter Nothing can take your pain away
El Misfit
[Insert witty here]
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 1104
Posts: 12901


Hi there!
« Reply #704 on: February 09, 2018, 11:46:25 AM »
I bet the shovel was a ground breaking invention.
Logged
yeah no.
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