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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Other Topics  |  Off Topic Discussion  |  The truly terrible joke thread « previous next »
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Author Topic: The truly terrible joke thread  (Read 405495 times)
ER
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The sleep of reasoner breeds monsters. (sic)


« Reply #735 on: March 09, 2018, 09:39:27 PM »

Before he left for a night of hook-ups with strange males met through an app, my cousin told this wholesome old joke:

How do you make a gay baby cry?
You take the pacifier out of his butt.
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What does not kill me makes me stranger.
Svengoolie 3
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« Reply #736 on: March 10, 2018, 01:20:19 AM »

I know the economy sucks,  but I didn't know how bad it was until I saw that Snoop Dogg was having to write cooking instructions to get by.

That's right,  the economy is so bad that former rap star snoop dog is having to write cooking instructions.

I know because I just got a bag of frozen French fries and the instructions said "Bake at 420 for 30 minutes. "
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The doctor that circumcised Trump threw away the wrong piece.
ER
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The sleep of reasoner breeds monsters. (sic)


« Reply #737 on: March 11, 2018, 12:02:41 PM »

A drunken man staggered into a Catholic church and took a seat in the confessional but didn't say anything, so after a moment Father O'Connor cleared his throat to attract his attention, though even then the drunk kept silent. The Father then coughed loudly but still got no response. Finally, losing patience, Father O'Connor knocked on the wall, and the drunk replied, "Sorry, can't help you, Father, there's no toilet paper in this one either."
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What does not kill me makes me stranger.
Svengoolie 3
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« Reply #738 on: March 11, 2018, 10:59:02 PM »

What did Kevin spacey do when he saw a 14 year old boy smoking?

Slowed down and used more vaseline.
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The doctor that circumcised Trump threw away the wrong piece.
RCMerchant
Bela
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"Charlie,we're in HELL!"-"yeah,ain't it groovy?!"


WWW
« Reply #739 on: March 11, 2018, 11:59:28 PM »

What do you call a midget who's power puking?

 A fire hydrant.
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"Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)
Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."

Slobber, Drool, Drip!
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RCMerchant
Bela
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"Charlie,we're in HELL!"-"yeah,ain't it groovy?!"


WWW
« Reply #740 on: March 12, 2018, 12:04:36 AM »

What did Jeffery Dahmers Mom say to him when she found out about his crimes?

" If your grandfather knew about this he would be rolling in his gravy!"
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"Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)
Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."

Slobber, Drool, Drip!
https://www.tumblr.com/ronmerchant
ER
B-Movie Kraken
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Karma: 1754
Posts: 13424


The sleep of reasoner breeds monsters. (sic)


« Reply #741 on: March 12, 2018, 01:13:07 AM »

What's the only thing that grows in Chicago?
The murder rate.
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What does not kill me makes me stranger.
RCMerchant
Bela
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"Charlie,we're in HELL!"-"yeah,ain't it groovy?!"


WWW
« Reply #742 on: March 12, 2018, 01:16:36 AM »

What's the only thing that grows in Chicago?
The murder rate.

Usta be Detroit. Sad. It's all sad.
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"Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)
Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."

Slobber, Drool, Drip!
https://www.tumblr.com/ronmerchant
indianasmith
Archeologist, Theologian, Elder Scrolls Addict, and a
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A good bad movie is like popcorn for the soul!


« Reply #743 on: March 12, 2018, 07:04:54 AM »

Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term exam. The last question was, 'Name seven advantages of Mother's Milk,' worth 70 points or none at all. One student, in particular, was hard put to think of seven advantages. He wrote:

 1. It is perfect formula for the child.

 2. It provides immunity against several diseases.

 3. It is always the right temperature.

 4. It is inexpensive.

 5. It bonds the child to mother, and vice versa.

 6. It is always available as needed.

 And then, the student was stuck. Finally, in desperation, just before the bell indicating the end of the test rang, he wrote...

 7. It comes naturally packaged in 2 attractive containers that the cat can't get into.

 He got an A.
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Alex
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« Reply #744 on: March 13, 2018, 06:22:50 PM »

What did Kevin spacey do when he saw a 14 year old boy smoking?

Slowed down and used more vaseline.

Before you call anyone else out for vile jokes you might want to have a good look in the mirror. Sorry but if you are going to pull others up on their standards you should at least be man enough to keep those standards yourself first.
« Last Edit: March 13, 2018, 07:02:23 PM by Dark Alex » Logged

But do you understand That none of this will matter Nothing can take your pain away
Alex
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« Reply #745 on: March 13, 2018, 07:05:16 PM »

When a man says he would do anything for a woman he means he'd stop bullets or kill dragons.

NOT clean he dishes, or clean the basement.
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But do you understand That none of this will matter Nothing can take your pain away
316zombie
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« Reply #746 on: March 13, 2018, 08:06:13 PM »

in my case, he'd much rather clean. i handle the dragons, and i'm already bulletproof, lol!
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Svengoolie 3
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« Reply #747 on: March 13, 2018, 10:03:06 PM »

It was so cold in my neighborhood today I saw a trump supporter put on a ski cap before he put on his white hood.

A bunch of Trump supporters decided to go to California to protest it's sanctuary city policy.  They charted a greyhound,   followed the driver's instruction to get on the bus and were all killed when it went under a low bridge.
« Last Edit: March 13, 2018, 10:10:35 PM by Svengoolie 3 » Logged

The doctor that circumcised Trump threw away the wrong piece.
Pacman000
Guest
« Reply #748 on: March 15, 2018, 10:59:39 AM »

"What's up?"

"Ceiling Tiles."

(Note: this has been my standard joke for 3-5 years now. I need a new joke.)
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Alex
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« Reply #749 on: March 21, 2018, 11:08:26 AM »

From a post on a friends FB page that made me chuckle.

Person 1: Jesus's mother was a virgin when she gave birth to him.
Person 2: Yeah that's why three random guys showed up with gifts.
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But do you understand That none of this will matter Nothing can take your pain away
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