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March 28, 2024, 12:05:01 PM
713350 Posts in 53056 Topics by 7725 Members
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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Other Topics  |  Off Topic Discussion  |  The truly terrible joke thread « previous next »
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Author Topic: The truly terrible joke thread  (Read 405492 times)
Alex
B-Movie Kraken
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Karma: 1556
Posts: 12603



« Reply #750 on: March 21, 2018, 12:03:00 PM »

Patient "Doctor, I have a problem with my joints."
Doctor "Do they hurt?"
Patient "No, I suck at rolling them!"
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But do you understand That none of this will matter Nothing can take your pain away
Alex
B-Movie Kraken
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Karma: 1556
Posts: 12603



« Reply #751 on: March 21, 2018, 04:56:54 PM »

I have a plan to cool myself down to -273 Celsius, my friends think it's suicide but i think i'll be 0k
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But do you understand That none of this will matter Nothing can take your pain away
Svengoolie 3
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
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Karma: -166
Posts: 5821



« Reply #752 on: March 21, 2018, 09:18:18 PM »

Question: what happens if you put odor eaters in an arab's sandals?

Answer:

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The doctor that circumcised Trump threw away the wrong piece.
Alex
B-Movie Kraken
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Karma: 1556
Posts: 12603



« Reply #753 on: March 22, 2018, 11:30:01 AM »

I never knew much about people, until the day I took one apart just to see how they worked.
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But do you understand That none of this will matter Nothing can take your pain away
BoyScoutKevin
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
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Karma: 277
Posts: 5030


« Reply #754 on: March 22, 2018, 02:05:56 PM »

Why did Trevor cross the road?
a. To get to the other side for the underwear clearance sale. No fool he.

Why did the chicken cross the road?
b. It was lunchtime at Trevor's house, and all the birds and the bees would be there.
c. Trevor was on vacation.
d. It wanted to see where Trevor went, for it was sure to follow.
e. Trevor was on strike.
f. It was Trevor's day off from crossing the road.
g. Trevor's alarm failed to go off, and he was late.
h. Since it was paid in chickenfeed, it was cheaper to use a chicken.

Anymore?
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indianasmith
Archeologist, Theologian, Elder Scrolls Addict, and a
B-Movie Kraken
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Karma: 2591
Posts: 15182


A good bad movie is like popcorn for the soul!


« Reply #755 on: March 22, 2018, 05:12:19 PM »

Q: What's the difference between a toaster oven and an electric razor?
A:  I don't know - what?
R:  Gee, you must burn your face a lot!!!!

(pulled that one on a student today)
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"I shall smite you in the nostrils with a rod of iron, and wax your spleen with Efferdent!!"
indianasmith
Archeologist, Theologian, Elder Scrolls Addict, and a
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 2591
Posts: 15182


A good bad movie is like popcorn for the soul!


« Reply #756 on: March 29, 2018, 10:00:07 PM »

So, William Shatner of STAR TREK fame is apparently launching his own line of lingerie.
However, the release date has been delayed so they can change the product's name.  Apparently "Shatner Panties" didn't test well with focus groups! BounceGiggle
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"I shall smite you in the nostrils with a rod of iron, and wax your spleen with Efferdent!!"
ER
B-Movie Kraken
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Karma: 1754
Posts: 13424


The sleep of reasoner breeds monsters. (sic)


« Reply #757 on: July 16, 2018, 08:14:26 PM »

My home-ec teacher said onions are the only food that can make a person cry, so I threw a coconut at her face.
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What does not kill me makes me stranger.
indianasmith
Archeologist, Theologian, Elder Scrolls Addict, and a
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 2591
Posts: 15182


A good bad movie is like popcorn for the soul!


« Reply #758 on: July 16, 2018, 08:52:28 PM »

A pharmacy was robbed today and five crates of Viagra were stolen.

Police are looking for a gang of hardened criminals!
Logged

"I shall smite you in the nostrils with a rod of iron, and wax your spleen with Efferdent!!"
Svengoolie 3
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: -166
Posts: 5821



« Reply #759 on: July 17, 2018, 12:49:30 AM »

What does a trump supporter do when his laptop freezes?

Puts it in the microwave for 3 minutes.
Logged

The doctor that circumcised Trump threw away the wrong piece.
ER
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 1754
Posts: 13424


The sleep of reasoner breeds monsters. (sic)


« Reply #760 on: July 23, 2018, 08:33:37 AM »

A kindergarten teacher was introducing the basics of subtraction when she saw one little girl from a rural part of the county was staring out the window instead of paying attention, so she asked her, "Maebelle, if there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and a hunter shoots one, how many are left?"

Maebelle answered, "None."

The teacher asks her why and Maebelle answered, "Well, duh, because the shot scared the rest away."
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What does not kill me makes me stranger.
AoTFan
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
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Karma: 242
Posts: 1396



« Reply #761 on: August 02, 2018, 05:39:05 PM »

For some reason this doesn't work when I try to post it as a gif, so I'll just post the link.

https://imgur.com/gallery/4iQPfV3
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ER
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 1754
Posts: 13424


The sleep of reasoner breeds monsters. (sic)


« Reply #762 on: September 05, 2018, 02:20:56 PM »

Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin."
Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night ."
Kid 1: "As if."
Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister."
Kid 1: "I don't have a sister."
Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."
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What does not kill me makes me stranger.
Alex
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 1556
Posts: 12603



« Reply #763 on: September 05, 2018, 02:26:59 PM »

Yay, you found this thread!
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But do you understand That none of this will matter Nothing can take your pain away
Svengoolie 3
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: -166
Posts: 5821



« Reply #764 on: September 05, 2018, 04:16:33 PM »

I was a people person once.. But people xxxxed it up.
Logged

The doctor that circumcised Trump threw away the wrong piece.
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