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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Other Topics  |  Off Topic Discussion  |  The truly terrible joke thread « previous next »
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Author Topic: The truly terrible joke thread  (Read 405465 times)
RCMerchant
Bela
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"Charlie,we're in HELL!"-"yeah,ain't it groovy?!"


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« Reply #1095 on: November 05, 2020, 03:36:36 PM »

Here's something you don't hear too often-
"Dad, you really oughta drink more!"
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"Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)
Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."

Slobber, Drool, Drip!
https://www.tumblr.com/ronmerchant
RCMerchant
Bela
B-Movie Kraken
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Karma: 0
Posts: 30423


"Charlie,we're in HELL!"-"yeah,ain't it groovy?!"


WWW
« Reply #1096 on: November 05, 2020, 03:39:39 PM »

If you had only one tooth would you brush it for a real long time?
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"Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)
Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."

Slobber, Drool, Drip!
https://www.tumblr.com/ronmerchant
Rev. Powell
Global Moderator
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Click on that globe for 366 Weird Movies


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« Reply #1097 on: January 18, 2021, 12:35:47 PM »

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I'll take you places the hand of man has not yet set foot...
indianasmith
Archeologist, Theologian, Elder Scrolls Addict, and a
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A good bad movie is like popcorn for the soul!


« Reply #1098 on: January 18, 2021, 09:37:28 PM »

HOW MANY TRUMP SUPPORTERS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?


"Anitfa broke the old bulb!  And stole the new one!  Sad!!"
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"I shall smite you in the nostrils with a rod of iron, and wax your spleen with Efferdent!!"
Alex
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« Reply #1099 on: January 20, 2021, 10:59:40 AM »

One I heard on the news today:

It is set to be very cold for the Biden inauguration today. Apparently it is going to be minus 45. 
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But do you understand That none of this will matter Nothing can take your pain away
ER
B-Movie Kraken
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The sleep of reasoner breeds monsters. (sic)


« Reply #1100 on: January 22, 2021, 12:10:01 AM »

What did the cops say when they let the longtime badmovies.org member out of jail?

"Release the Kraken."
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What does not kill me makes me stranger.
ER
B-Movie Kraken
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Karma: 1754
Posts: 13424


The sleep of reasoner breeds monsters. (sic)


« Reply #1101 on: January 28, 2021, 07:30:46 PM »

Thanks for explaining the word “many” to me, it means a lot.
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What does not kill me makes me stranger.
El Misfit
[Insert witty here]
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Hi there!


« Reply #1102 on: February 08, 2021, 04:35:31 PM »

A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank. The rabbit says I might be a type o.
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yeah no.
indianasmith
Archeologist, Theologian, Elder Scrolls Addict, and a
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 2591
Posts: 15182


A good bad movie is like popcorn for the soul!


« Reply #1103 on: February 08, 2021, 10:34:20 PM »

What did the seven dwarfs say when they spotted a prostitute on drugs?



"HIII HOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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"I shall smite you in the nostrils with a rod of iron, and wax your spleen with Efferdent!!"
RCMerchant
Bela
B-Movie Kraken
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Karma: 0
Posts: 30423


"Charlie,we're in HELL!"-"yeah,ain't it groovy?!"


WWW
« Reply #1104 on: February 09, 2021, 11:55:18 AM »

^ Oh no! You didn't!  BounceGiggle

If we are going to fight the war on terror, we should start with haunted houses.
Because their scary, you know. It's haunted. By ghosts.

« Last Edit: February 09, 2021, 06:28:15 PM by RCMerchant » Logged

"Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)
Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."

Slobber, Drool, Drip!
https://www.tumblr.com/ronmerchant
indianasmith
Archeologist, Theologian, Elder Scrolls Addict, and a
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 2591
Posts: 15182


A good bad movie is like popcorn for the soul!


« Reply #1105 on: February 09, 2021, 11:47:59 PM »

Astronomers have determined that earth, during its proto-planetary stage, was more than twice as large as it is now.
But, before it began to cool, the molten planet was struck by a large, glowing asteroid of the kind known as Aggressive Lithic Luminaries (ALL) which caused it to split into two pieces.  The larger chunk fell into the sun and disintegrated; the smaller one condensed and became our planet.
Which explains the meaning of the old Disneyland song: "It's a Small World After ALL"!
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"I shall smite you in the nostrils with a rod of iron, and wax your spleen with Efferdent!!"
RCMerchant
Bela
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 0
Posts: 30423


"Charlie,we're in HELL!"-"yeah,ain't it groovy?!"


WWW
« Reply #1106 on: February 10, 2021, 02:24:16 AM »

What did the Boston Marathon bomber do that Hitler could not?

He ended a race.

« Last Edit: February 10, 2021, 02:56:47 AM by RCMerchant » Logged

"Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)
Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."

Slobber, Drool, Drip!
https://www.tumblr.com/ronmerchant
RCMerchant
Bela
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 0
Posts: 30423


"Charlie,we're in HELL!"-"yeah,ain't it groovy?!"


WWW
« Reply #1107 on: February 10, 2021, 02:50:52 AM »

A drunk walks into a bar. He sits for a while talking to another guy for a bit, walks to the bar and says to the barkeep- "I bet 50 bucks if you line up 10 shot glasses on this bar I can p**s in all of them and not get a drop on the bar!"
"I don't believe it!" says the bartender.
So the guy stands on the bar and p**ses all over the place- doesn't fill one glass.
"Ha ha ha!" says the barkeep. "You owe me 50 bucks!"
"That's ok" says the drunk- " I just bet that guy over their $200 I could p**s a all over your bar and make you laugh!"
« Last Edit: February 10, 2021, 03:13:53 AM by RCMerchant » Logged

"Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)
Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."

Slobber, Drool, Drip!
https://www.tumblr.com/ronmerchant
RCMerchant
Bela
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 0
Posts: 30423


"Charlie,we're in HELL!"-"yeah,ain't it groovy?!"


WWW
« Reply #1108 on: February 10, 2021, 03:21:10 AM »

What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn’t matter what you call him- he ain’t coming.
Logged

"Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)
Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."

Slobber, Drool, Drip!
https://www.tumblr.com/ronmerchant
RCMerchant
Bela
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 0
Posts: 30423


"Charlie,we're in HELL!"-"yeah,ain't it groovy?!"


WWW
« Reply #1109 on: February 10, 2021, 03:23:20 AM »

Why do dwarfs laugh when they run?
 The grass tickles their balls.
Logged

"Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)
Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."

Slobber, Drool, Drip!
https://www.tumblr.com/ronmerchant
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