b-movies/ten must have things

[Jack]

3. At least one old, washed-up, actor or actress

Or Playboy Playmate, rapper, or '80s teen heartthrob.

[JaseSF]

1) Goofy @$$ed monster
2) Woman (women) willing to appear in states of undress or at least scantilly clad.
3) Bad lighting (or night scenes shot in the daytime)
4) Cheesy dancing scenes where the camera disturbingly focuses on butts, both female and male?!
5) Generic bad rock 'n' roll music is a plus
6) A couple good screamers for monster attack scenes
7) copious amounts of fake blood, or chocolate syrup if your film is black and white
8) At least one recognizable star if you can get one (if not get someone related to someone recognizable). Doesn't matter if he/she is washed up or wasted most of the time just as long as you get them in enough scenes to put their recognizable name on your poster
9) Scenes filmed in an old, abandoned factory to stand in for a futuristic city/spaceship/or for just no plausible reason at all.
10) scenes filmed in Bronson canyon, or caves, if possible.

[Nukie 2]

1. Awful costumes.
2. Washed-up mainstream stars, or b-movie actors who have been in many films and play the same role all the time (Bruce Campbell, George
    Eastman), or actors who never appear in another movie ever again.
3. Bad dialogue.
4. Bad special effects/computer animation.
5. Amateurish camera work and film editing.
6. Plot holes as big as craters.
7. Crappy keyboard demo muzak as the soundtrack or 80's glam rock or 70's hot funk or sucky music that sound like the boom mic's picking   
    it up from a cassette player that's playing a type that has been covered in mud.
8. No character development for the audience to identify or get attached to any of the characters. Character motivation isn't logically
   thought out, they act out of affect-- for example in Mega Piranha the characters didn't bother to build a dam at first to stop the spread
   of piranhas, instead they fired missiles and shot at them from a helicopter.
9. Stock footage.
10. The idea of who the movie is targeted to and should be targeted to is very hazy.