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Author Topic: Reveiwing Movies that Don't exist  (Read 90534 times)
Chainsawmidget
Guest
« Reply #75 on: June 06, 2010, 09:35:13 AM »

Title:
The Were-Gerbil from Detriot

Movie Tagline
______________


Characters
Fritz Olaff - mad scientist with a crazy hairdo that is dedicated to improving the human body by giving it animal traits.  Killed by having his head crushed in a toilet
Chaz Winthrop III - Richard Gere! Pillar of the community with secret and unusual proclivities. Disemboweled.
___________


Plot summary
___________
___________
___________

Things I Learned From This Movie
_____________
_____________
_____________


Stuff to Watch for
______________
______________
______________


Quotes
_____________
_____________
_____________
Logged
Rev. Powell
Global Moderator
B-Movie Kraken
****

Karma: 3096
Posts: 26727


Click on that globe for 366 Weird Movies


WWW
« Reply #76 on: June 06, 2010, 10:47:25 AM »

Title:
The Were-Gerbil from Detriot

Movie Tagline
______________


Characters
Fritz Olaff - mad scientist with a crazy hairdo that is dedicated to improving the human body by giving it animal traits.  Killed by having his head crushed in a toilet
Chaz Winthrop III - Richard Gere! Pillar of the community with secret and unusual proclivities. Disemboweled.
Curtis Snellinger - Crip gang leader locked in a deadly battle with the Bloods; turns into a gerbil at the most inappropriate times.
___________


Plot summary
___________
___________
___________

Things I Learned From This Movie
_____________
_____________
_____________


Stuff to Watch for
______________
______________
______________


Quotes
_____________
_____________
_____________
Logged

I'll take you places the hand of man has not yet set foot...
retrorussell
In the town of Valentine Bluffs, there are many ways to die. Take your pick.
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 1189
Posts: 9579


Hanniger! I'll be waiting in HELL for you!


« Reply #77 on: June 06, 2010, 04:36:09 PM »

Title:
The Were-Gerbil from Detriot

Movie Tagline
The world was its Habitrail of death!!!


Characters
Fritz Olaff - mad scientist with a crazy hairdo that is dedicated to improving the human body by giving it animal traits.  Killed by having his head crushed in a toilet
Chaz Winthrop III - Richard Gere! Pillar of the community with secret and unusual proclivities. Disemboweled.
Curtis Snellinger - Crip gang leader locked in a deadly battle with the Bloods; turns into a gerbil at the most inappropriate times.
___________


Plot summary
___________
___________
___________

Things I Learned From This Movie
_____________
_____________
_____________


Stuff to Watch for
______________
______________
______________


Quotes
_____________
_____________
_____________
Logged

"O the legend they say, on a Valentine's Day, is a curse that'll live on and on.."
JaseSF
Super Space Age Freaky Geek
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 719
Posts: 13871


Soon, your brain will turn to jelly.


« Reply #78 on: June 06, 2010, 11:10:35 PM »

Title:
The Were-Gerbil from Detriot

Movie Tagline
The world was its Habitrail of death!!!


Characters
Fritz Olaff - mad scientist with a crazy hairdo that is dedicated to improving the human body by giving it animal traits.  Killed by having his head crushed in a toilet
Chaz Winthrop III - Richard Gere! Pillar of the community with secret and unusual proclivities. Disemboweled.
Curtis Snellinger - Crip gang leader locked in a deadly battle with the Bloods; turns into a gerbil at the most inappropriate times.
___________


Plot summary
___________
___________
___________

Things I Learned From This Movie
_____________
_____________
_____________


Stuff to Watch for
______________
______________
______________


Quotes
"It's almost like...y'know what they call it...yes... poetic justice. They made him run on a wheel. Now those same humans run from him in utter terror!"
_____________
_____________
Logged

"This above all: To thine own self be true!"
Chainsawmidget
Guest
« Reply #79 on: June 06, 2010, 11:35:44 PM »

Title:
The Were-Gerbil from Detriot

Movie Tagline
The world was its Habitrail of death!!!


Characters
Fritz Olaff - mad scientist with a crazy hairdo that is dedicated to improving the human body by giving it animal traits.  Killed by having his head crushed in a toilet
Chaz Winthrop III - Richard Gere! Pillar of the community with secret and unusual proclivities. Disemboweled.
Curtis Snellinger - Crip gang leader locked in a deadly battle with the Bloods; turns into a gerbil at the most inappropriate times.
___________


Plot summary
___________
___________
___________

Things I Learned From This Movie
_____________
_____________
_____________


Stuff to Watch for
______________
______________
______________


Quotes
"It's almost like...y'know what they call it...yes... poetic justice. They made him run on a wheel. Now those same humans run from him in utter terror!"
"I am the Gerbil King of Hell"
_____________
Logged
Rev. Powell
Global Moderator
B-Movie Kraken
****

Karma: 3096
Posts: 26727


Click on that globe for 366 Weird Movies


WWW
« Reply #80 on: June 07, 2010, 10:30:35 AM »

Title:
The Were-Gerbil from Detriot

Movie Tagline
The world was its Habitrail of death!!!


Characters
Fritz Olaff - mad scientist with a crazy hairdo that is dedicated to improving the human body by giving it animal traits.  Killed by having his head crushed in a toilet
Chaz Winthrop III - Richard Gere! Pillar of the community with secret and unusual proclivities. Disemboweled.
Curtis Snellinger - Crip gang leader locked in a deadly battle with the Bloods; turns into a gerbil at the most inappropriate times.
___________


Plot summary
___________
___________
___________

Things I Learned From This Movie
_____________
_____________
_____________


Stuff to Watch for
14 min. - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST RICHARD GERE'S [censored]
______________
______________


Quotes
"It's almost like...y'know what they call it...yes... poetic justice. They made him run on a wheel. Now those same humans run from him in utter terror!"
"I am the Gerbil King of Hell"
Logged

I'll take you places the hand of man has not yet set foot...
AndyC
Global Moderator
B-Movie Kraken
****

Karma: 1402
Posts: 11156



« Reply #81 on: June 07, 2010, 10:58:01 AM »

Title:
The Were-Gerbil from Detriot

Movie Tagline
The world was its Habitrail of death!!!


Characters
Fritz Olaff - mad scientist with a crazy hairdo that is dedicated to improving the human body by giving it animal traits.  Killed by having his head crushed in a toilet
Chaz Winthrop III - Richard Gere! Pillar of the community with secret and unusual proclivities. Disemboweled from the inside.
Curtis Snellinger - Crip gang leader locked in a deadly battle with the Bloods; turns into a gerbil at the most inappropriate times.
___________


Plot summary
___________
___________
___________

Things I Learned From This Movie
Never call a big, ferocious gerbil a hamster.
_____________
_____________


Stuff to Watch for
14 min. - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST RICHARD GERE'S [censored]
______________
______________


Quotes
"It's almost like...y'know what they call it...yes... poetic justice. They made him run on a wheel. Now those same humans run from him in utter terror!"
"I am the Gerbil King of Hell"
Logged

---------------------
"Join me in the abyss of savings."
retrorussell
In the town of Valentine Bluffs, there are many ways to die. Take your pick.
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 1189
Posts: 9579


Hanniger! I'll be waiting in HELL for you!


« Reply #82 on: June 07, 2010, 10:59:53 PM »

Title:
The Were-Gerbil from Detriot

Movie Tagline
The world was its Habitrail of death!!!


Characters
Fritz Olaff - mad scientist with a crazy hairdo that is dedicated to improving the human body by giving it animal traits.  Killed by having his head crushed in a toilet
Chaz Winthrop III - Richard Gere! Pillar of the community with secret and unusual proclivities. Disemboweled from the inside.
Curtis Snellinger - Crip gang leader locked in a deadly battle with the Bloods; turns into a gerbil at the most inappropriate times.
___________


Plot summary
___________
___________
___________

Things I Learned From This Movie
Never call a big, ferocious gerbil a hamster.
Gerbils are DAMN sick of those funky green food pellets.
_____________


Stuff to Watch for
14 min. - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST RICHARD GERE'S [censored]
______________
______________


Quotes
"It's almost like...y'know what they call it...yes... poetic justice. They made him run on a wheel. Now those same humans run from him in utter terror!"
"I am the Gerbil King of Hell"
Logged

"O the legend they say, on a Valentine's Day, is a curse that'll live on and on.."
AndyC
Global Moderator
B-Movie Kraken
****

Karma: 1402
Posts: 11156



« Reply #83 on: June 08, 2010, 08:12:37 AM »

Title:
The Were-Gerbil from Detriot

Movie Tagline
The world was its Habitrail of death!!!


Characters
Fritz Olaff - mad scientist with a crazy hairdo that is dedicated to improving the human body by giving it animal traits.  Killed by having his head crushed in a toilet
Chaz Winthrop III - Richard Gere! Pillar of the community with secret and unusual proclivities. Disemboweled from the inside.
Curtis Snellinger - Crip gang leader locked in a deadly battle with the Bloods; turns into a gerbil at the most inappropriate times.
___________


Plot summary
___________
___________
___________

Things I Learned From This Movie
Never call a big, ferocious gerbil a hamster.
Gerbils are DAMN sick of those funky green food pellets.
Exercise wheels come in a wide range of sizes.


Stuff to Watch for
14 min. - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST RICHARD GERE'S [censored]
______________
______________


Quotes
"It's almost like...y'know what they call it...yes... poetic justice. They made him run on a wheel. Now those same humans run from him in utter terror!"
"I am the Gerbil King of Hell"
Logged

---------------------
"Join me in the abyss of savings."
InformationGeek
Leader of the Friends' for Info
B-Movie Site Webmaster
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 441
Posts: 5349


Let's all be Friends.


WWW
« Reply #84 on: June 08, 2010, 08:37:52 AM »

Title:
The Were-Gerbil from Detriot

Movie Tagline
The world was its Habitrail of death!!!

Characters
Fritz Olaff - mad scientist with a crazy hairdo that is dedicated to improving the human body by giving it animal traits.  Killed by having his head crushed in a toilet
Chaz Winthrop III - Richard Gere! Pillar of the community with secret and unusual proclivities. Disemboweled from the inside.
Curtis Snellinger - Crip gang leader locked in a deadly battle with the Bloods; turns into a gerbil at the most inappropriate times.
___________


Plot summary
___________
___________
___________

Things I Learned From This Movie
Never call a big, ferocious gerbil a hamster.
Gerbils are DAMN sick of those funky green food pellets.
Exercise wheels come in a wide range of sizes.


Stuff to Watch for
14 min. - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST RICHARD GERE'S [censored]
30 min - And now something for the people with very weird fetishes.
______________


Quotes
"It's almost like...y'know what they call it...yes... poetic justice. They made him run on a wheel. Now those same humans run from him in utter terror!"
"I am the Gerbil King of Hell"
Logged

Website: http://informationgeekreviews.blogspot.com/

We live in quite an interesting age. You can tell someone's sexual orientation and level of education from just their interests.
indianasmith
Archeologist, Theologian, Elder Scrolls Addict, and a
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 2590
Posts: 15177


A good bad movie is like popcorn for the soul!


« Reply #85 on: June 08, 2010, 09:51:51 AM »

Title:
The Were-Gerbil from Detriot

Movie Tagline
The world was its Habitrail of death!!!

Characters
Fritz Olaff - mad scientist with a crazy hairdo that is dedicated to improving the human body by giving it animal traits.  Killed by having his head crushed in a toilet
Chaz Winthrop III - Richard Gere! Pillar of the community with secret and unusual proclivities. Disemboweled from the inside.
Curtis Snellinger - Crip gang leader locked in a deadly battle with the Bloods; turns into a gerbil at the most inappropriate times.
Dr. Detroit - Dan Akroyd!!!! Called out of retirement to give the rodent menace its final comeuppance!
___________


Plot summary
___________
___________
___________

Things I Learned From This Movie
Never call a big, ferocious gerbil a hamster.
Gerbils are DAMN sick of those funky green food pellets.
Exercise wheels come in a wide range of sizes.


Stuff to Watch for
14 min. - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST RICHARD GERE'S [censored]
30 min - And now something for the people with very weird fetishes.
34 min - Dr. Detroit unveils his secret weapon!
______________


Quotes
"It's almost like...y'know what they call it...yes... poetic justice. They made him run on a wheel. Now those same humans run from him in utter terror!"
"I am the Gerbil King of Hell"
Logged

"I shall smite you in the nostrils with a rod of iron, and wax your spleen with Efferdent!!"
JaseSF
Super Space Age Freaky Geek
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 719
Posts: 13871


Soon, your brain will turn to jelly.


« Reply #86 on: June 08, 2010, 12:44:27 PM »

Title:
The Were-Gerbil from Detriot

Movie Tagline
The world was its Habitrail of death!!!

Characters
Fritz Olaff - mad scientist with a crazy hairdo that is dedicated to improving the human body by giving it animal traits.  Killed by having his head crushed in a toilet
Chaz Winthrop III - Richard Gere! Pillar of the community with secret and unusual proclivities. Disemboweled from the inside.
Curtis Snellinger - Crip gang leader locked in a deadly battle with the Bloods; turns into a gerbil at the most inappropriate times.
Dr. Detroit - Dan Akroyd!!!! Called out of retirement to give the rodent menace its final comeuppance!
___________


Plot summary
___________
___________
___________

Things I Learned From This Movie
Never call a big, ferocious gerbil a hamster.
Gerbils are DAMN sick of those funky green food pellets.
Exercise wheels come in a wide range of sizes.


Stuff to Watch for
14 min. - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST RICHARD GERE'S [censored]
30 min - And now something for the people with very weird fetishes.
34 min - Dr. Detroit unveils his secret weapon!
42 min - How many times can the same two structures explode?


Quotes
"It's almost like...y'know what they call it...yes... poetic justice. They made him run on a wheel. Now those same humans run from him in utter terror!"
"I am the Gerbil King of Hell"
Logged

"This above all: To thine own self be true!"
retrorussell
In the town of Valentine Bluffs, there are many ways to die. Take your pick.
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 1189
Posts: 9579


Hanniger! I'll be waiting in HELL for you!


« Reply #87 on: June 09, 2010, 02:19:25 PM »

Title:
The Were-Gerbil from Detriot

Movie Tagline
The world was its Habitrail of death!!!

Characters
Fritz Olaff - mad scientist with a crazy hairdo that is dedicated to improving the human body by giving it animal traits.  Killed by having his head crushed in a toilet
Chaz Winthrop III - Richard Gere! Pillar of the community with secret and unusual proclivities. Disemboweled from the inside.
Curtis Snellinger - Crip gang leader locked in a deadly battle with the Bloods; turns into a gerbil at the most inappropriate times.
Dr. Detroit - Dan Akroyd!!!! Called out of retirement to give the rodent menace its final comeuppance!
Skeeter - Female member of the Bloods who can't resist fawning over the cute gerbil-man, and how she wants to pet him.  Gored by a giant feeding tube bottle, making her blood flow out the tube and into the waiting were-gerbil's mouth.  Slurp!


Plot summary
___________
___________
___________

Things I Learned From This Movie
Never call a big, ferocious gerbil a hamster.
Gerbils are DAMN sick of those funky green food pellets.
Exercise wheels come in a wide range of sizes.


Stuff to Watch for
14 min. - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST RICHARD GERE'S [censored]
30 min - And now something for the people with very weird fetishes.
34 min - Dr. Detroit unveils his secret weapon!
42 min - How many times can the same two structures explode?


Quotes
"It's almost like...y'know what they call it...yes... poetic justice. They made him run on a wheel. Now those same humans run from him in utter terror!"
"I am the Gerbil King of Hell"
Logged

"O the legend they say, on a Valentine's Day, is a curse that'll live on and on.."
Chainsawmidget
Guest
« Reply #88 on: June 19, 2010, 08:59:08 PM »

Title:
The Were-Gerbil from Detriot

Movie Tagline
The world was its Habitrail of death!!!

Characters
Fritz Olaff - mad scientist with a crazy hairdo that is dedicated to improving the human body by giving it animal traits.  Killed by having his head crushed in a toilet
Chaz Winthrop III - Richard Gere! Pillar of the community with secret and unusual proclivities. Disemboweled from the inside.
Curtis Snellinger - Crip gang leader locked in a deadly battle with the Bloods; turns into a gerbil at the most inappropriate times.
Dr. Detroit - Dan Akroyd!!!! Called out of retirement to give the rodent menace its final comeuppance!
Skeeter - Female member of the Bloods who can't resist fawning over the cute gerbil-man, and how she wants to pet him.  Gored by a giant feeding tube bottle, making her blood flow out the tube and into the waiting were-gerbil's mouth.  Slurp!


Plot summary

Fritz Olaff is conducting secret and highly illegal experiments with Chaz Winthrop III's funding.  In order to test his experiments, Fritz tends to offer homeless people handfuls of cash to test his "new medicine".  (Suffice to say, they never get the cash.  Most don't survive.  After a long boring opening where not much happens and people talk about it for too long, Fritz happens to stumble upon Curtis Snellinger drunk in an alley.  Too intoxicated to say "no" to Dr. Olaff's offer, he's taken back to the lab and given the most recent version of Fritz's animal DNA injections. 
___________
___________

Things I Learned From This Movie
Never call a big, ferocious gerbil a hamster.
Gerbils are DAMN sick of those funky green food pellets.
Exercise wheels come in a wide range of sizes.


Stuff to Watch for
14 min. - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST RICHARD GERE'S [censored]
30 min - And now something for the people with very weird fetishes.
34 min - Dr. Detroit unveils his secret weapon!
42 min - How many times can the same two structures explode?


Quotes
"It's almost like...y'know what they call it...yes... poetic justice. They made him run on a wheel. Now those same humans run from him in utter terror!"
"I am the Gerbil King of Hell"
Logged
JaseSF
Super Space Age Freaky Geek
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 719
Posts: 13871


Soon, your brain will turn to jelly.


« Reply #89 on: June 20, 2010, 11:42:32 AM »

Title:
The Were-Gerbil from Detriot

Movie Tagline
The world was its Habitrail of death!!!

Characters
Fritz Olaff - mad scientist with a crazy hairdo that is dedicated to improving the human body by giving it animal traits.  Killed by having his head crushed in a toilet
Chaz Winthrop III - Richard Gere! Pillar of the community with secret and unusual proclivities. Disemboweled from the inside.
Curtis Snellinger - Crip gang leader locked in a deadly battle with the Bloods; turns into a gerbil at the most inappropriate times.
Dr. Detroit - Dan Akroyd!!!! Called out of retirement to give the rodent menace its final comeuppance!
Skeeter - Female member of the Bloods who can't resist fawning over the cute gerbil-man, and how she wants to pet him.  Gored by a giant feeding tube bottle, making her blood flow out the tube and into the waiting were-gerbil's mouth.  Slurp!


Plot summary

Fritz Olaff is conducting secret and highly illegal experiments with Chaz Winthrop III's funding.  In order to test his experiments, Fritz tends to offer homeless people handfuls of cash to test his "new medicine".  (Suffice to say, they never get the cash.  Most don't survive.  After a long boring opening where not much happens and people talk about it for too long, Fritz happens to stumble upon Curtis Snellinger drunk in an alley.  Too intoxicated to say "no" to Dr. Olaff's offer, he's taken back to the lab and given the most recent version of Fritz's animal DNA injections. 
___________
___________

Things I Learned From This Movie
Never call a big, ferocious gerbil a hamster.
Gerbils are DAMN sick of those funky green food pellets.
Exercise wheels come in a wide range of sizes.


Stuff to Watch for
14 min. - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST RICHARD GERE'S [censored]
30 min - And now something for the people with very weird fetishes.
34 min - Dr. Detroit unveils his secret weapon!
42 min - How many times can the same two structures explode?
48 min - Apparently six times in a row...no, make that seven!


Quotes
"It's almost like...y'know what they call it...yes... poetic justice. They made him run on a wheel. Now those same humans run from him in utter terror!"
"I am the Gerbil King of Hell"
Logged

"This above all: To thine own self be true!"
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