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February 28, 2015, 06:07:29 PM
544256 Posts in 41267 Topics by 5246 Members
Latest Member: kongking699 Forum  |  Other Topics  |  Off Topic Discussion  |  A Tale of Two Goats . . . « previous next »
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Author Topic: A Tale of Two Goats . . .  (Read 65 times)
Archeologist, Theologian, Elder Scrolls Addict, and a
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema

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A good bad movie is like popcorn for the soul!

« on: February 01, 2015, 11:17:20 PM »

Someone posted this in an artifact forum I belong to, and it made me laugh VERY hard . . . so I thought I would share!

I was looking for some goats...yes goats i live on a during the search i came across this ad and i cried and laughed so hard the family thought something was wrong with me.....lmao still laughing months later and everytime i read it....I almost wanted to go get the goats..lmmfao here it is:

 This is the story of two goats. One is as black as midnight, thus his very creative name, Midnight. His coat may be black, but his heart is golden and he is like a ray of sunshine on a gloomy day. He's content to sit in the grass and nibble away at the weeds and just be an all around good guy. He likes freshly cut grass, all weeds, vines, corn and sweet feed. He hasn't been with us for very long, but he's been a joy to have here.

 Then there's Mr. Marbles. He's a much larger goat who will head-butt a fence post, a shed, a car, a lawnmower, a cat or anything else that looks too perfect. He likes things to be dented, knocked over or destroyed. He will eat anything. I mean anything. He will try to eat your clothes off your body and has tried to steal cigarettes out of the hands of visitors. He's very good at hopping fences or bashing them down. If there is a car he can get to, he will climb on the hood and leave a million little hoof dents in it. He'll pull the windshield wipers off for you, pull the trim pieces off, eat them and then use his head to bash out all the marker lights. He can even open the doors if left alone to ponder it long enough. He likes freshly cut grass, all weeds, vines, corn, sweet feed, ornamental shrubs, all expensive plants and trees, Fritos, siding, insulation, plastic, metal, cloth, and most composite materials. He also seems to be addicted to nicotine.

 These two wethers are attached to each other, so you can't have good without evil. Midnight screams his head off when he can't see Mr. Marbles. We need a home for them where they can be kept together and FAR away from any houses, sheds, vehicles, or cigarettes. We'd like to find a friendly, responsible goat farm for them. Although we've threatened to barbecue Mr. Marbles many, many, many, many times, we do prefer that neither of them be used for food. We will give them free to a good home. Please email if interested. WE WILL NOT SEPARATE THEM, so please understand that you cannot have the good without the evil. This is a package deal. We will not be held responsible for the damage Mr. Marbles is going to do to your property. Once again, these goats are FREE to a good home. All we ask is that you return our lawnmower key if Mr. Marbles happens to eventually poop it out. Thank you.

 UPDATE: Mr. Marbles has now learned how to turn on the water faucet. He thinks it's so cool that he does it constantly, all day long. Sometimes throughout the night. I know there has to be someone out there who would appreciate this unique skill. Not every goat knows how to drain a well.

"Carpe diem!" - Seize the day!  "Carpe per diem!" - Seize the daily living allowance! "Carpe carp!" - Seize the fish!
"Carpe Ngo Diem!" - Seize the South Vietnamese Dictator!
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema

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« Reply #1 on: February 02, 2015, 09:22:30 AM »

Mr. Marbles...lost his.
Talk about a disfunctional relationship, if from a human point of view. Also kinda reminds me of some of the folks who used to hang out here.

"Aggressivlly eccentric, and proud of it!"
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