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Author Topic: I need to vent  (Read 1646 times)
diamondwaspvenom
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« on: July 09, 2010, 07:42:54 AM »

Hey guys. How's it going? Well, yesterday, things weren't so great for me.

Now as some of you know, I recently got a youtube account. Also, my first horror teaser went up a few days ago. My rant, however, is not on youtube, it's on my father.

My dad is 100% against anything that has to do with horror. He also sometimes gives me s*** because I'm a fan of the genre. I do respect him, but his arguments against horror films are incredibly idiotic. One time he went so far as to say that they give serial killers ideas to murder people (this stupidity still makes me cringe, even as I write this).

Moving on, yesterday night, dad was checking the e-mails and found out about my account and my video. Not surprisingly, he freaked out. Besides criticizing me about making the teaser, he had this paranoid belief that someone would call the cops on him just because of the video (one of the dumbest things I've ever heard him say).

I've never understood why it's so hard for him to accept the fact that I like horror movies. I've even talked and explained to him about why I like the genre. But of course, it goes in through one ear and then comes out the other. His ignorance and intolerance to my tastes angers me to no end, and I get the feeling that he'll never accept my love for horror films.

I know he's my dad and I respect him, but he's a complete idiot when it comes to horror films. He knows absolutely nothing about the genre and his criticisms really show it. If only I can just talk to him again and explain to him about this situation, but unfortunately things will just go back the same way before.


PS. For those who are wondering, I am near the completion of my second trailer. It will be up soon.
« Last Edit: July 09, 2010, 08:01:04 AM by diamondwaspvenom » Logged
Doggett
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« Reply #1 on: July 09, 2010, 08:15:48 AM »

Whats his actuall problem with horror ?

There are pleanty of violent films that don't feature serial killers. How many people does James Bond kill?
Is that a horror?


My mum loves horror as long as it isn't too violent. Halloween is one of my mums favourites, as is Poltergiest.
You could show him horror that isn't violent. How about The Others ? Its on a 12 cert. it's not too violent or scary.

I hope your dad gets over is irrational fear of horror.
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indianasmith
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« Reply #2 on: July 09, 2010, 08:27:03 AM »

How old are you now?  I would assume you are in your teens, but I could be wrong.
Don't expect your Dad's tastes to change.  That is about as unrealistic as him expecting your taste to change.  Instead, minimize the conflict as much as you can and cherish the things you do have in common.  You will only be under his roof for a few more years, and a disagreement over taste in movies just isn't worth poisoning those years over.  No one lies on their deathbed wishing they had argued with their parents more.
Just avoid the topic, talk about other things, and when he goes on a rant, nod and listen, then quietly pursue your own interests beneath his radar.  You will be glad in later years that you didn't let this issue poison your relationship.
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diamondwaspvenom
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« Reply #3 on: July 09, 2010, 08:32:57 AM »

The main reason why my dad hates horror is because he sees it as the cause of my hospitilization. Before I go on, let me talk about a time in my life that forever has etched its place in my mind.

I was bullied from kindergarten 'till about eight grade. As you can probably tell, the first part of my life was a living hell.

When I was in eigth grade, I was hospitilized. I was suffering from depression, paranoia and obsessive thoughts. It was a horrible time for me. If that wasn't bad enough, my best friend who I knew from childhood turned against me. Because I wasn't the popular one, it was easy for him to spread lies about me and have the others stupidly follow his deceitful words.

Even though the bullying was the reason for my meltdown, my father still thinks that horror movies were the main cause. Despite that not being true, he believes otherwise.

Look, I'm not violent by nature. I'm polite, intelligent and tolerant. Seeing someone being gutted in slasher film does not make me want to imitate the killiing. For the most part, I'm curious about the special effect that the filmmakers used (since I want to get into low budget filmmaking). I would never harm another human being. Even though there are times when I threaten, I never act on it. Besides, as a Christian, I happen to know about the fifth commandment: Thou Shalt Not Kill.
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diamondwaspvenom
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« Reply #4 on: July 09, 2010, 08:33:32 AM »

How old are you now?  I would assume you are in your teens, but I could be wrong.
Don't expect your Dad's tastes to change.  That is about as unrealistic as him expecting your taste to change.  Instead, minimize the conflict as much as you can and cherish the things you do have in common.  You will only be under his roof for a few more years, and a disagreement over taste in movies just isn't worth poisoning those years over.  No one lies on their deathbed wishing they had argued with their parents more.
Just avoid the topic, talk about other things, and when he goes on a rant, nod and listen, then quietly pursue your own interests beneath his radar.  You will be glad in later years that you didn't let this issue poison your relationship.


I'm eighteen
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indianasmith
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« Reply #5 on: July 09, 2010, 08:38:44 AM »

Hang tight, my friend.  You will soon be on your own.
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« Reply #6 on: July 09, 2010, 10:39:03 AM »

I know what you're going through diamond. I am a life long sci-fi fan and when I was a littleolder than you I was diagnosed with OCD. My mom, who understood neither OCD nor the appeal of sci-fi, also somehow felt the two were related. Of course they weren't but she was a parent very concerned about her child and when that happens sometimes reason just doesn't help. I'd say Indiana's advice is solid. That's how I handled it and later, when things were resolved I was glad I did it that way.
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« Reply #7 on: July 09, 2010, 12:57:17 PM »

hi
my heart goes out to you! Like yourself my parents could never understand why i would sit down and watch horror movies. Unlike you i was however, the black sheep of the family,this only fanned the flames of my parents hatred towards horror movies.Now i am a father of three lovely children and my relationship with my father and mother is as solid as it could be.My way of overcoming my disputes with my parents was to engage in things that they enjoyed doing. Example my mother loved gardening so i used to help her with the various plants in our garden ,my father loved messing around with cars/motorbikes.,So i used to help him and go along to our local scrapyard.I am not saying this works for everyone but quality time spent with one,s parents is time that stands still and will always be cherished.
Good luck with your movie and hopefully in time your father will be sat in a cinema with a huge smile on his face as his boy,s name is up there on  the screen.
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« Reply #8 on: July 09, 2010, 03:40:34 PM »

Being 17 myself, I personnaly don't agree with the advice that has been given here. I don't really have a relationship because I don't want to talk to them, a few months ago my father hit my in the face, I hit him back and than he beat in my head. The fight ended and my mother told me I should clean up the blood. (of course I didn't.)
What I'm saying is, if there's one thing I learned, it's to defend yourself. Now I just go around saying something to them if it's necessary, except for that, I just do the stuff I do.
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Flick James
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« Reply #9 on: July 09, 2010, 03:43:05 PM »

I am in absolutely no position to judge anything. Besides, I know nothing about your father. However, there is one thing about your scenario that comes to mind. You can tell me if I'm onto something or completely in left field. It sounds as if your father, however much he loves you and cares for you, may be simply fixating on horror films as a negative to avoid dealing with the problems you mentioned growing up. It may be a defense mechanism. Some parents have difficulty in acknowledging or dealing with real problems, so they project them onto other things. He may subconsciously find it easier to blame your bout with depression on movies than to acknowledge that you went through being bullied (I went through some of that myself growing up). He may actually carry some guilt that the bullying was something he may not have picked up on and has subconscious feelings of failure. So blaming the problem on horror movies is an easy out. I'm not picking on your dad, not even in the slightest. I don't know enough to know if I am even hitting anywhere hear the nail, but there was something about your scenario that brought it to mind. Have you spoken at length with him about what really caused the depression? Is the bullying that you experienced a topic that gets avoided between you and your dad? If so, I would say that this kind of projection could be a real possibility.

« Last Edit: July 09, 2010, 03:45:07 PM by Flick James » Logged

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« Reply #10 on: July 09, 2010, 03:52:35 PM »


Being 17 myself, I personnaly don't agree with the advice that has been given here. I don't really have a relationship because I don't want to talk to them, a few months ago my father hit my in the face, I hit him back and than he beat in my head. The fight ended and my mother told me I should clean up the blood. (of course I didn't.)
What I'm saying is, if there's one thing I learned, it's to defend yourself. Now I just go around saying something to them if it's necessary, except for that, I just do the stuff I do.


Wow, that's some heavy stuff.  I wish you the best as you move on in life.  But, I don't think it equates to the OP's situation very well.

His Dad does not like him watching horror movies.  From what I read, this is NOT an issue of physical violence, just simply a case of "his house, his rules" and how to cope with that given a young adult who is trying to assert his own individuality in that environment.

Physical violence is a WHOLE different matter.
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Vik
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« Reply #11 on: July 09, 2010, 04:11:32 PM »


Being 17 myself, I personnaly don't agree with the advice that has been given here. I don't really have a relationship because I don't want to talk to them, a few months ago my father hit my in the face, I hit him back and than he beat in my head. The fight ended and my mother told me I should clean up the blood. (of course I didn't.)
What I'm saying is, if there's one thing I learned, it's to defend yourself. Now I just go around saying something to them if it's necessary, except for that, I just do the stuff I do.


Wow, that's some heavy stuff.  I wish you the best as you move on in life.  But, I don't think it equates to the OP's situation very well.

His Dad does not like him watching horror movies.  From what I read, this is NOT an issue of physical violence, just simply a case of "his house, his rules" and how to cope with that given a young adult who is trying to assert his own individuality in that environment.

Physical violence is a WHOLE different matter.
You're right, sorry, I gave a wrong example. But yeah, it's a totally different situation, sorry for the misunderstanding.
« Last Edit: July 09, 2010, 04:21:59 PM by vik » Logged
Paquita
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« Reply #12 on: July 09, 2010, 11:01:40 PM »

Sorry about your dad troubles.  My mom hates horror movies too, but my dad loved them and introduced me to them, so she never really fought me about it.  Whenever anyone else would complain about me watching them when I was younger and ask my why I liked them, I'd just tell them because the good guys win in the end (even though we know that's not always true), and that would usually calm them down.

I think Flick James and Macabre give some good advice.  Your dad is probably using horror movies to blame for your problems so he doesn't have to feel responsible, and if you can show you have some common interests (that there's something "right" about you in his eyes), your dad might not be so harsh.

I hope everything turns out OK!
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