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April 18, 2024, 07:08:12 AM
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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Other Topics  |  Off Topic Discussion  |  Weird operating instructions « previous next »
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Author Topic: Weird operating instructions  (Read 3154 times)
Trevor
Uncle Zombie and Eminent Shitologist
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 2125
Posts: 22764
« on: October 03, 2010, 10:54:41 AM »
My adopted brother bought me a HDMI DVD player for my birthday - a region free one, no less. What made me LMAO about it are some of the instructions in the booklet:

DO NOT TOUCH THE PLAYER WHEN THUNDERING, AVOID BEING THUNDERED.
BE CAREFUL THE NEGLECTING WILL HARM THE PEOPLE, VITALLY EVEN.
SUBTITLES: THE WORDINGS SHOWN AT THE BOTTOM OF THE TV.
 BounceGiggle BounceGiggle
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I know I can make it on my own if I try, but I'm searching for the Great Heart
To stand me by, underneath the African sky
A Great Heart to stand me by.
indianasmith
Archeologist, Theologian, Elder Scrolls Addict, and a
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 2594
Posts: 15208


A good bad movie is like popcorn for the soul!
« Reply #1 on: October 03, 2010, 01:07:02 PM »
On a Korean kitchen knife:

WARNING: KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN

On a Swedish Chainsaw:

DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH BARE HANDS

This sort of stuff always cracks me up.  www.engrish.com is a great place to find stuff in this vein.
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"I shall smite you in the nostrils with a rod of iron, and wax your spleen with Efferdent!!"
Umaril The Unfeathered
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 144
Posts: 1826


Pelinal na vasha, racuvar! Sa yando tyavoy nagaia!


WWW
« Reply #2 on: October 03, 2010, 02:25:23 PM »
That's almost as bad as the Turkish poster for the movie Out Of Sight, Out Of Mind that got translated as "Invisible Lunatic" in their language. I read about this one a few years back.   BounceGiggle
Logged
Tam-Riel na nou Sancremath.
Dawn's Beauty is our shining home.

An varlais, nou bala, an kynd, nou latta.
The stars are our power, the sky is our light.

Malatu na nou karan.
Truth is our armor.

Malatu na bala
Truth is power.

Heca, Pellani! Agabaiyane Ehlnadaya!
Be gone, outsiders! I do not fear your mortal gods!

Auri-El na nou ata, ye A, Umaril, an Aran!
Aure-El is our father, and I, Umaril, the king!
Flick James
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 489
Posts: 4642


Honorary Bastard of Arts
« Reply #3 on: October 04, 2010, 09:30:40 AM »
PLACE ONE LEG INTO EACH OF THE TWO HOLES OF THE UNDERPANTS. PULL UNDERPANTS GENTLY UPWARDS UNTIL THEY STOP.
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I don't always talk about bad movies, but when I do, I prefer badmovies.org
Trevor
Uncle Zombie and Eminent Shitologist
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 2125
Posts: 22764
« Reply #4 on: October 04, 2010, 11:28:01 AM »
Quote from: Flick James on October 04, 2010, 09:30:40 AM
PLACE ONE LEG INTO EACH OF THE TWO HOLES OF THE UNDERPANTS. PULL UNDERPANTS GENTLY UPWARDS UNTIL THEY STOP.
BounceGiggle BounceGiggle BounceGiggle BounceGiggle BounceGiggle
Logged
I know I can make it on my own if I try, but I'm searching for the Great Heart
To stand me by, underneath the African sky
A Great Heart to stand me by.
indianasmith
Archeologist, Theologian, Elder Scrolls Addict, and a
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 2594
Posts: 15208


A good bad movie is like popcorn for the soul!
« Reply #5 on: October 04, 2010, 06:38:33 PM »
On an electric blender:

NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE


On a set of Christmas lights made in China:

FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY
Logged
"I shall smite you in the nostrils with a rod of iron, and wax your spleen with Efferdent!!"
Umaril The Unfeathered
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 144
Posts: 1826


Pelinal na vasha, racuvar! Sa yando tyavoy nagaia!


WWW
« Reply #6 on: October 04, 2010, 07:56:11 PM »
Quote from: Flick James on October 04, 2010, 09:30:40 AM
PLACE ONE LEG INTO EACH OF THE TWO HOLES OF THE UNDERPANTS. PULL UNDERPANTS GENTLY UPWARDS UNTIL THEY STOP.

You mean to tell me, that I've been putting them on wrong for years now?
Logged
Tam-Riel na nou Sancremath.
Dawn's Beauty is our shining home.

An varlais, nou bala, an kynd, nou latta.
The stars are our power, the sky is our light.

Malatu na nou karan.
Truth is our armor.

Malatu na bala
Truth is power.

Heca, Pellani! Agabaiyane Ehlnadaya!
Be gone, outsiders! I do not fear your mortal gods!

Auri-El na nou ata, ye A, Umaril, an Aran!
Aure-El is our father, and I, Umaril, the king!
Umaril The Unfeathered
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 144
Posts: 1826


Pelinal na vasha, racuvar! Sa yando tyavoy nagaia!


WWW
« Reply #7 on: October 04, 2010, 08:11:40 PM »
Here's a few I've found myself...

http://www.engrish.com/2009/11/


"THIS IS BATMAN, HE WILL CATCH ALL BADDY!"
Logged
Tam-Riel na nou Sancremath.
Dawn's Beauty is our shining home.

An varlais, nou bala, an kynd, nou latta.
The stars are our power, the sky is our light.

Malatu na nou karan.
Truth is our armor.

Malatu na bala
Truth is power.

Heca, Pellani! Agabaiyane Ehlnadaya!
Be gone, outsiders! I do not fear your mortal gods!

Auri-El na nou ata, ye A, Umaril, an Aran!
Aure-El is our father, and I, Umaril, the king!
Trevor
Uncle Zombie and Eminent Shitologist
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 2125
Posts: 22764
« Reply #8 on: October 04, 2010, 11:34:59 PM »
Quote from: Umaril The Unfeathered on October 04, 2010, 07:56:11 PM
Quote from: Flick James on October 04, 2010, 09:30:40 AM
PLACE ONE LEG INTO EACH OF THE TWO HOLES OF THE UNDERPANTS. PULL UNDERPANTS GENTLY UPWARDS UNTIL THEY STOP.

You mean to tell me, that I've been putting them on wrong for years now?

That's the conclusion that I came to as well.  Wink
Logged
I know I can make it on my own if I try, but I'm searching for the Great Heart
To stand me by, underneath the African sky
A Great Heart to stand me by.
Joe the Destroyer
Guest
« Reply #9 on: October 05, 2010, 12:50:10 AM »
Some more from Engrish.com

On a shredder:

PLEASE KEEP CHILDREN OUT OF SHREDDER
PLEASE DON'T SPAY ANY FLAMMABLE GAS OR OIL ON THIS SHREDDER, IT MAY CAUSE A FAIR.
IF THERE IS A SMOKE OR ANY ABNORMAL SMELL HAPPEN ON THE SHREDDER, PLEASE STOP USING IT AND CUT OFF THE SHREDDER.

Also:

Do not swallow Batteries or it could make you seriously hurt blood stream, or could make your mind damaged.

Not instructions, but very  Buggedout nonetheless:
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Umaril The Unfeathered
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 144
Posts: 1826


Pelinal na vasha, racuvar! Sa yando tyavoy nagaia!


WWW
« Reply #10 on: October 05, 2010, 04:08:23 AM »
Quote from: Joe the Destroyer on October 05, 2010, 12:50:10 AM
Do not swallow Batteries or it could make you seriously hurt blood stream, or could make your mind damaged.

Yes, acid will do that to you, be it from the local drug dealer or a battery. No to mention how it seriously hurt blood stream.  BounceGiggle
Logged
Tam-Riel na nou Sancremath.
Dawn's Beauty is our shining home.

An varlais, nou bala, an kynd, nou latta.
The stars are our power, the sky is our light.

Malatu na nou karan.
Truth is our armor.

Malatu na bala
Truth is power.

Heca, Pellani! Agabaiyane Ehlnadaya!
Be gone, outsiders! I do not fear your mortal gods!

Auri-El na nou ata, ye A, Umaril, an Aran!
Aure-El is our father, and I, Umaril, the king!
Flick James
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 489
Posts: 4642


Honorary Bastard of Arts
« Reply #11 on: October 05, 2010, 01:47:48 PM »
Quote from: indianasmith on October 04, 2010, 06:38:33 PM
On an electric blender:

NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE


On a set of Christmas lights made in China:

FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY

Well, they have to do that to prevent people from trying to use them UNDERWATER.

 BounceGiggle BounceGiggle BounceGiggle
Logged
I don't always talk about bad movies, but when I do, I prefer badmovies.org
Umaril The Unfeathered
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 144
Posts: 1826


Pelinal na vasha, racuvar! Sa yando tyavoy nagaia!


WWW
« Reply #12 on: October 05, 2010, 08:45:21 PM »
Quote from: Flick James on October 05, 2010, 01:47:48 PM
Quote from: indianasmith on October 04, 2010, 06:38:33 PM
On an electric blender:

NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE


On a set of Christmas lights made in China:

FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY

LMAO...

Well, they have to do that to prevent people from trying to use them UNDERWATER.

 BounceGiggle BounceGiggle BounceGiggle
Logged
Tam-Riel na nou Sancremath.
Dawn's Beauty is our shining home.

An varlais, nou bala, an kynd, nou latta.
The stars are our power, the sky is our light.

Malatu na nou karan.
Truth is our armor.

Malatu na bala
Truth is power.

Heca, Pellani! Agabaiyane Ehlnadaya!
Be gone, outsiders! I do not fear your mortal gods!

Auri-El na nou ata, ye A, Umaril, an Aran!
Aure-El is our father, and I, Umaril, the king!
The Gravekeeper
addicted to the macabre
Bad Movie Lover
***

Karma: 85
Posts: 759
« Reply #13 on: October 06, 2010, 10:20:01 AM »
From a chainsaw: DO NOT STOP WITH HAND OR GENITALS.
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