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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Other Topics  |  Television  |  THE BEST MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 riffs « previous next »
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Author Topic: THE BEST MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 riffs  (Read 63093 times)
Rev. Powell
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« Reply #480 on: December 06, 2014, 04:33:56 PM »

GODZILLA VS. MEGALON

Guy: What are they trying to do, wipe us out?
JOEL: Yeah, I hate those wacky morning DJs!

["Seatopia" dancers dance in funny white costumes]
JOEL: Say, these Klan meetings have really lightened up!

[During battle scene]
TOM: I know I should be excited and scared and all, but all I can think about is sweaty Japanese guys.
Logged

"The basic plot is that Donna Speir and Hope Marie Carlton, the two undercover DEA agent Playboy Playmates from the last movie, are still running around in jungle shorts, cowboy boots and spaghetti strap T-shirts, firing their machine guns at drug smugglers, Filipino communist guerrillas, and corrupt federal agents while their two friends, Lisa London and Miss May 1984 Patty Duffek, lounge around the pool a lot and talk on speaker phones that look like fax machines."-Joe Bob on SAVAGE BEACH
Rev. Powell
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« Reply #481 on: December 16, 2014, 11:01:54 PM »

GODZILLA VS. THE SEA MONSTER

[All riffs take place during the scenes where villagers dance to awaken Mothra]

TOM: Rockin' its way to #1, it's "Mothra, You Are Our God." It's got a great beat and you can worship to it!

CROW: How can something sarong be so right?

TOM: It's the Mothra Graham Dance Troupe!
Logged

"The basic plot is that Donna Speir and Hope Marie Carlton, the two undercover DEA agent Playboy Playmates from the last movie, are still running around in jungle shorts, cowboy boots and spaghetti strap T-shirts, firing their machine guns at drug smugglers, Filipino communist guerrillas, and corrupt federal agents while their two friends, Lisa London and Miss May 1984 Patty Duffek, lounge around the pool a lot and talk on speaker phones that look like fax machines."-Joe Bob on SAVAGE BEACH
Trevor
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« Reply #482 on: December 17, 2014, 03:47:40 AM »

MITCHELL

Joel: "Oh, let's see: I see Meatloaf, I see Van Morrison and I see Spoooooocccckkkkkk."  TeddyR TeddyR
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Questions fell but no one stopped to listen
That eternity was just a dawn away
And the rest was sure to come
Leaves, caught in winter's ice
Rev. Powell
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« Reply #483 on: January 17, 2015, 06:58:02 PM »

"Alphabet Antics" short

[Livestock are being loaded on a plane]
Narrator: ..and maybe a cute little piggie or two!
CROW: But now you have to call them 'flight attendants.'

DADDY-O

Dick Contino: C'mon, guys, she coulda pulled away from me in two seconds with that car!
JOEL: Sure, but she was delirious from the smell of bleach.

[Elderly waitress serves Cokes and walks away]
CROW: Thanks mom! Nice caboose... what am I saying?

[Portly villain is pacing with worried expression]
CROW: When is that butter going to get here?
Logged

"The basic plot is that Donna Speir and Hope Marie Carlton, the two undercover DEA agent Playboy Playmates from the last movie, are still running around in jungle shorts, cowboy boots and spaghetti strap T-shirts, firing their machine guns at drug smugglers, Filipino communist guerrillas, and corrupt federal agents while their two friends, Lisa London and Miss May 1984 Patty Duffek, lounge around the pool a lot and talk on speaker phones that look like fax machines."-Joe Bob on SAVAGE BEACH
Trevor
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« Reply #484 on: January 21, 2015, 01:00:09 AM »

[Portly villain is pacing with worried expression]
CROW: When is that butter going to get here?

 TeddyR TeddyR
Logged

Questions fell but no one stopped to listen
That eternity was just a dawn away
And the rest was sure to come
Leaves, caught in winter's ice
Trevor
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« Reply #485 on: January 21, 2015, 01:01:24 AM »

THE BRUTE MAN

[Detective enters boss's office]

Crow [singsong voice]: "How are things in homicide?"  TeddyR TeddyR
Logged

Questions fell but no one stopped to listen
That eternity was just a dawn away
And the rest was sure to come
Leaves, caught in winter's ice
Rev. Powell
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« Reply #486 on: January 31, 2015, 12:59:48 PM »

THE AMAZING COLOSSAL MAN

[Nurse peeks under Glen Manning's sheet just after his hospitalization and gasps]
TOM: Well, SOMETHING'S much bigger than we thought!

Glen: I don't want to grow anymore...
JOEL: I'm a Toys-r-Us kid.
Glen: I DON'T WANT TO GROW ANYMORE!
JOEL: I'M A TOYS-R-US KID!

Doctor: ...since the heart is made up of a single cell...
TOM:: What?!
[Doctor continues mumbo-jumbo explanation]
CROW: You're not a real doctor, are you?
Logged

"The basic plot is that Donna Speir and Hope Marie Carlton, the two undercover DEA agent Playboy Playmates from the last movie, are still running around in jungle shorts, cowboy boots and spaghetti strap T-shirts, firing their machine guns at drug smugglers, Filipino communist guerrillas, and corrupt federal agents while their two friends, Lisa London and Miss May 1984 Patty Duffek, lounge around the pool a lot and talk on speaker phones that look like fax machines."-Joe Bob on SAVAGE BEACH
Rev. Powell
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« Reply #487 on: February 07, 2015, 12:03:51 PM »

FUGITIVE ALIEN

[Woman hears voiceover narration while wandering through the desert]
JOEL: I gotta lay off the shrooms!

ALL: He tried to kill me with a forklift!

[Every time someone says the name "Rocky"]
CROW: Again?
Logged

"The basic plot is that Donna Speir and Hope Marie Carlton, the two undercover DEA agent Playboy Playmates from the last movie, are still running around in jungle shorts, cowboy boots and spaghetti strap T-shirts, firing their machine guns at drug smugglers, Filipino communist guerrillas, and corrupt federal agents while their two friends, Lisa London and Miss May 1984 Patty Duffek, lounge around the pool a lot and talk on speaker phones that look like fax machines."-Joe Bob on SAVAGE BEACH
Trevor
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« Reply #488 on: February 13, 2015, 04:33:10 AM »

MITCHELL

[A groggy Mitchell gets out of the car]

Cop: "You coming, Mitchell?"
Mitchell: "Yeah."
Tom: "You got any moist towelettes, rags, toilet paper or something?"  TeddyR
Logged

Questions fell but no one stopped to listen
That eternity was just a dawn away
And the rest was sure to come
Leaves, caught in winter's ice
Rev. Powell
Global Moderator
B-Movie Kraken
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Karma: 1856
Posts: 15006


Click on that globe for 366 Weird Movies


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« Reply #489 on: February 14, 2015, 08:18:54 PM »

IT CONQUERED THE WORLD

[Title appears in credits]
TOM: They're giving away the ending!

Peter Graves: Paul Nelson here.
TOM: Gunsmoke, nah, itíll never work, call my brother!
Peter Graves: Thatís impossible!
CROW: Mission: Impossible! That sounds great!

Peter Graves: Listen, you know, in the last 24 hours, men have had their minds, their personalities, their moral standards imprisoned? The whole population has been herded like cattle into the desert! That men have been murdered for failing to obey their new master?
TOM: Yeah, I hate the 700 Club too.
Logged

"The basic plot is that Donna Speir and Hope Marie Carlton, the two undercover DEA agent Playboy Playmates from the last movie, are still running around in jungle shorts, cowboy boots and spaghetti strap T-shirts, firing their machine guns at drug smugglers, Filipino communist guerrillas, and corrupt federal agents while their two friends, Lisa London and Miss May 1984 Patty Duffek, lounge around the pool a lot and talk on speaker phones that look like fax machines."-Joe Bob on SAVAGE BEACH
Trevor
Chief Troublemaker at Badmovies.org
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 931
Posts: 11653



WWW
« Reply #490 on: February 17, 2015, 01:21:19 AM »

THE BRUTE MAN

[Poultry truck drives out of a gas station]

Crow [panicked]: "There's no driver! The chickens are taking over!"  TeddyR
Logged

Questions fell but no one stopped to listen
That eternity was just a dawn away
And the rest was sure to come
Leaves, caught in winter's ice
ChaosTheory
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« Reply #491 on: February 19, 2015, 07:40:30 PM »

THE UNEARTHLY:

Tor Johnson: "Time for go to bed."
Joel: "Well said!"

Angry Guy is lashing out at Tor.
Servo: "Tor feel unappreciated."
Logged

Through the darkness of future past
The magician longs to see
One chance opts between two worlds
Fire walk with me
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