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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Other Topics  |  Television  |  Favorite Mystery Science Theater 3000 Host Segments « previous next »
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Author Topic: Favorite Mystery Science Theater 3000 Host Segments  (Read 10688 times)
Rev. Powell
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« on: December 10, 2010, 09:00:15 PM »

OK, we have a long-running thread on best riffs, so it seems a separate thread on host segments is long overdue.

I'll start with Tom's love song to the "beautiful Creepy Girl" from CATALINA CAPER.  I particularly like the lines

"Oh Creepy Girl, oh won't you be mine?
I'll give you scrolls and fish, and tinkertoys, and wi-hi-yine."

What about you?
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"The best parts are watching Sly go through the full range of emotions: deadpan, deadpan with raised eyebrow, deadpan with quivering lip. There's also a great sequence where Sly drives his VW Beetle down the interstate for about 20 minutes, staring dramatically through the windshield.."-Joe Bob on A MAN CALLED RAMBO
ChaosTheory
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« Reply #1 on: December 11, 2010, 04:25:40 PM »

Favorite Joel host segment would probably be the Pants Up song from DADDY-O.

Favorite Mike segment would be either the "Rompelo!" bit from PARTS: THE CLONUS HORROR, or the segments from THE STARFIGHTERS, in which Crow can't get onto the internet and Mike gets "debriefed"   TeddyR
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Through the darkness of future past
The magician longs to see
One chance opts between two worlds
Fire walk with me
retrorussell
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« Reply #2 on: December 11, 2010, 06:21:55 PM »

"Idiot control now" from POD PEOPLE
"You ARE magic, aren't you Trumpy?" from POD PEOPLE
"Torgo's Pizza" from MANOS: THE HANDS OF FATE
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Rev. Powell
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« Reply #3 on: December 11, 2010, 06:26:55 PM »

The "Only Love Pads the Film" finale from SIDEHACKERS. 

"'Cause nothing lasts forever,
Only love pads the film.
Of all the dreams we treasure,
Only love, love pads the film."
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"The best parts are watching Sly go through the full range of emotions: deadpan, deadpan with raised eyebrow, deadpan with quivering lip. There's also a great sequence where Sly drives his VW Beetle down the interstate for about 20 minutes, staring dramatically through the windshield.."-Joe Bob on A MAN CALLED RAMBO
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« Reply #4 on: December 13, 2010, 10:00:34 AM »

The William Conrad Fridge Alert from Human Duplicators.

"Gamera is really neat, he is filled with turtle meat" song by Joel and the Bots, in Gamera vs. Guiron.

Also Mike Nelson entertaining the Mads as piano bar entertainer Michael Feinstein, in Gamera vs. Guiron.
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« Reply #5 on: December 13, 2010, 01:15:10 PM »

Beginning of the End - Mike calls the Mads
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Raffine
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« Reply #6 on: December 13, 2010, 01:33:49 PM »

Way back in the day I was watching the new MST3K with a rather dour friend of mine who (naturally) was a very serious Morrissey fan. I had convinced him he might fine the show amusing.

And then... without warning... this happened:

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He angrily left the room and went home.

 BounceGiggle
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lester1/2jr
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« Reply #7 on: December 13, 2010, 05:19:39 PM »

definately the one about the guy going to the university of minnesota  BounceGiggle BounceGiggle
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AndyC
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« Reply #8 on: December 13, 2010, 07:38:14 PM »

definately the one about the guy going to the university of minnesota  BounceGiggle BounceGiggle

"I'm Peter Graves, and I'd like to enroll at the University of Minnesota."
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« Reply #9 on: December 14, 2010, 06:12:19 PM »

I love that episode and that skit is the best thing ever.
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« Reply #10 on: December 14, 2010, 07:20:57 PM »

I think my personal favorite is from Agent from H.A.R.M with the whole Mike on trial storyline.  I love how Prof. Bobo was able to get the better of Observer for once.
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Then there is the ending segment from Devil Doll.  I use to torture my little brother by telling him "Your an ugly little puppet who can never have ham nor any luchein meats"

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Then there's alwys
DEEP HURTING!
DEEP HURTING!
DEEP HURTING!
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« Reply #11 on: December 18, 2010, 08:57:47 PM »

RING OF TERROR

"If Chauffeurs Ruled the World"

"If chauffeurs ruled the world,
It's what I'd like to see,
Then everyone in the world
Would take a back seat to me.
I wouldn't have to drive,
I wouldn't have to steer,
'Cause all would bow down before me
In total abject fear.
All the gorgeous dames
Would worship at my feet.
I could have any one I want!
Why, even Meryl Streep!
I'd have the complete respect
Of everyone on the planet,
Including intellectuals---
Even David Mamet.
Tell me, why do I have to take
Orders from this guy?
I'd like to drop him in a bucket of boiling grease
And watch him slowly die.
If chauffeurs ruled the world,
It's what I'd like to see,
But I guess some other palooka will rule the world---
No, not me."
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Raffine
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« Reply #12 on: December 19, 2010, 04:32:07 AM »

Crow's Ode To Estelle from THE MAGIC SWORD

As you guys I'm sure remember.
I think it was maybe last December.
I fell, pall mall, for Kim Cattrall.

But now, I'm over that.
We had our little spat.
I'm older, wiser and I know that my true love is really named...Estelle!

She's swell!
She's cute
She's rooty-toot-toot.
I bet she smells like Juicy Fruit.

She can really play a witch
She was even on Bewitched!
And I'm bewildered and bothered!

Crow, you are my buddy,
And maybe I'm a fuddy duddy
But step back please, and think about some stuff.

I'm sure that she seems nice.
But I bet she's more than twice your age.
And with your love it might not matter--
But can she control her bladder?

(spoken)
Joel: Tom, come on.
Tom: Ok, but Joel, there's a whole other set of issues here. If I may, Crow, as a friend? As a trusted advisor?
Crow: Well...

Tom: Ok.
Here's a quick list of people much better looking than Estelle
Fred Biletnikoff, Brandon Tartikoff, Sid and Marty Krofft!
Fred Gwynne and Anthony Quinn and Rin Tin Tin and Pearl Bailey
And Moms Mabley and Mayor Daley and Hank and Phoebe Snow!
Ethel Merman and Pee Wee Herman and Strom Thurmond and Vince Lombardi and George and Jesus Jones.
Edith Head and Mister Ed and Nostradamus and Danny Thomas and Leona and Sherman Hemsley!

(spoken)

Crow: Joel, make him stop!
Joel: Tom, you're not helping things at all. Can you go and clip those coupons like you promised?
Tom: Duhhh, Okay. (Singing) Willy DeVille and Agnes de Mille and Cruella DeVille and Roscoe Tanner and...
Joel: Crow, listen. Don't worry about him. Why donít you tell us more about how youíre feeling?

She's a vision
I got a new mission.
Somehow I got to meet her.
So she's older...two, three, four...
She's got a great motor,
There's nothing that can beat her!

Crow, you have my blessing.
And I feel like confessing.
You're my little pal.
Go on and give it a try.
Cause you're bewildered and bothered!
« Last Edit: December 19, 2010, 04:34:15 AM by Raffine » Logged

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« Reply #13 on: December 19, 2010, 03:18:15 PM »

From The Unearthly - Hard Pills to Swallow.
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Frank's constant bawling in this one just cracks me up.
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« Reply #14 on: December 21, 2010, 11:19:21 PM »

Mighty Jack had a couple of funny host segments.

The commercial for Mighty Jack, from the makers of Mighty Dog and Hungry Jack. It's at 4:16.
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And their spoof of the "blinding light chamber" scene. It's at about the four-minute mark.
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Servo: You'd better tell us what we want to know. The lights in there are capable of blinding you.
Joel: Well, that doesn't bother me. I'll just keep my eyes shut.
Crow: D'oh!
Servo: Foiled again.
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