PRETENDING YOU DIDN'T SEE OR HEAR IT (WHEN YOU OBVIOUSLY DID SEE OR HEAR IT)

[The Burgomaster]

Did you ever pretend you didn't see (or hear) something when it's obvious you did see or hear it?  I guess this would normally happen when an embarrassing (for you or someone else) situation occurs.  Here are two examples from my personal experience:

1) When I was in junior high school, I was sharing a book with a girl during class.  The teacher was reading something and all the students were following along.  Suddenly, a tiny, dried snot fell out of my nose onto the book.  When it hit the glossy page it made a low (yet obvious) "snapping" sound.  I quickly and non-chalantly brushed my hand across the page and knocked the snot onto the floor.  I'm sure my face was bright red, but neither I nor the girl who was sharing my book said anything.

2) Years ago I shared an apartment with a guy I worked with.  One night we had a party for co-workers and other friends.  One of my co-workers was a middle-aged guy named Alan.  He was a nice guy, but sort of a dork, but we invited him to the party out of courtesy.  He didn't show up at the party right away and we were in the living room talking about him.  Just as I said, "Alan's a f**k!" he came walking into the living room with his girlfriend.  Everyone burst out laughing.  Alan and his girlfriend just continued on into the room as if nothing was amiss.  But there is NO WAY they didn't hear me.

[Mr. DS]

I react this way when people fart around me whether it be accidental or intentional.  I'm an oddity, a guy who doesn't like it or find it funny when other people fart around him.  Don't get me wrong, I laugh myself to tears when I stink up a room.  I also find it funny when I watch it on video. But I can't stand smelling or hearing someone else's ass near me.  No thanks.  My neighbor farts a lot during conversations and it makes me uncomfortable.  He's one of those lean forward, raise his ass types too.  Whenever he does he stops in midsentence and keeps going after the fart.  I  hear them but I pretend I don't nor do I react to them. 

I often pretend I don't hear people when they talk sh!t to me.  Mainly if I know reacting to it is going to cause unnecessary violence for myself.  For example, we have a bunch of homeless folk around where I work.  Many of them get wasted by 10 AM and just screw with people who walk by.  One time one of them said some crap to me when I was walking by.  My first reaction was to confront him but I simply realized punching a bum in the mouth really won't cause me much good.   Even if they guy was a drunk A-hole, he could have fallen and smashed his head on the ground.  Figured it was just easier to walk away which I'm glad I did. 

[Mr. DS]

Another instance that just popped into my head that fits this thread.  I recall back in college while working the photo counter of my then employer, this petite cheerleader type comes to drop off film.  She tells me what I want in a sweet little voice then out of nowhere, "BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRP".  She lets out one of the most massive belches I've ever heard.  I had all but to do to hold in the laughter.  

[retrorussell]

When people act really weird, make a really dumb joke or try desperately to act cool.  I will then get back to work, talk to someone else, or hum to myself, acting like I never witnessed anything, after staring at them for a few seconds without saying anything.  It usually p*sses them off. 

[Paquita]

When I used to work in the file room, one of the older ladies walked in and as she passed me, she farted, it wasn't loud enough for me to actually know for sure that it was a fart, and I probably would have just thought it was some other noise if she didn't quietly say "scuse me" after it.  I had to bury my face until she left to keep from laughing out loud... I really didn't want to embarrass her but that was too funny.

I posted this before, but when my husband and I first starting going out, he knocked a bunch of trays over in a cafeteria, and I knew he was already nervous so I pretended not to notice... after a couple months with him, I realized that he's pretty accident prone and it started getting awkward for me to keep pretending I didn't see or hear something, so I just go with it now.

[Allhallowsday]

How 'bout those type of persons who weigh words, but think no one else does, or no one else has a memory, or no one else can detect a contrivance, a manipulation, a lie... I have a "friend" that I'm stuck putting up with who just brought up an issue he created as if it were in a humorous context.  This is the 2nd time this turd has done it.  The jist?  Sorry, dude, I am not going to give you eyewitness testimony that will "prove" the lie you created that ruined the relationship between myself and an ex-friend.  I don't miss any of those people involved, frankly, and I put up with what I must for the sake of peace.  I just pretend I didn't hear and simply don't respond. 

[claws]

At my last job working in a warehouse I would always pretend not to see colleagues opening boxes so they could eat the food inside. It was basically stealing and I didn't want any part of that. I wasn't the type to run to the boss to tell either. Actually, I was always on the run from our boss but that is another story.

[RCMerchant]

Many years ago when I was a teenager my brother Richie walked into the bathroom while I was jerkin' my Gerkin. He quickly closed the door. That kinda ruined the mood. 

[Trevor]

Many years ago when I was a teenager my brother Richie walked into the bathroom while I was jerkin' my Gerkin. He quickly closed the door. That kinda ruined the mood. 

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[RCMerchant]

Many years ago when I was a teenager my brother Richie walked into the bathroom while I was jerkin' my Gerkin. He quickly closed the door. That kinda ruined the mood. 

  + 

Beyond Trevor-I think this may be happining right now. Nobody wants to comment on me self pleasurization. Who wants to admit that they got caught peeling the banana? Dont blame ya-"Eh-Better let RC slide on this one-" Dont let me slide-HIT ME! BE HONEST! "Almost sounds masochistic (yeah-I cant spell) dont it? FREE YOUR SELF! Lets here your inner most creepys! (Unless yer a serial killer---might wanna hide that...)

[SPazzo]

Last term, my lab partner would pick his nose in the middle of the lab.  He seemed to think that no one noticed, and maybe they didn't, but I sure did.  He would just sit there with his finger up his nose while watching the opening slideshow.  The worst part?  When we were dissecting earthworms he touched the worm with his bare hands, didn't wash his hands, and then picked his nose again.  I didn't say anything, but I about to be sick.

At least I'll never have to see this guy again.  He dropped out halfway through the term.

[indianasmith]

WHERE DID YOU FIND A PUKING SMILEY???????

[Doggett]

Many years ago when I was a teenager my brother Richie walked into the bathroom while I was jerkin' my Gerkin. He quickly closed the door. That kinda ruined the mood. 

  + 

Beyond Trevor-I think this may be happining right now. Nobody wants to comment on me self pleasurization. Who wants to admit that they got caught peeling the banana? Dont blame ya-"Eh-Better let RC slide on this one-" Dont let me slide-HIT ME! BE HONEST! "Almost sounds masochistic (yeah-I cant spell) dont it? FREE YOUR SELF! Lets here your inner most creepys! (Unless yer a serial killer---might wanna hide that...)

On kinda the same thing...


In my teenage years, my sister walked into my bedroom and caught me 'copping a feel' of my girlfriend.
It was my bedroom and she was my girlfriend, I was doing no wrong !

My girlfriend had the the duvet up to her waist, so nothing was on show, hopefully my sister didn't even realise.

But the look on her when my sis just barged in: Priceless*



*for everything else there's MasterCard

[Mr. DS]

Many years ago when I was a teenager my brother Richie walked into the bathroom while I was jerkin' my Gerkin. He quickly closed the door. That kinda ruined the mood. 

  + 

Beyond Trevor-I think this may be happining right now. Nobody wants to comment on me self pleasurization. Who wants to admit that they got caught peeling the banana? Dont blame ya-"Eh-Better let RC slide on this one-" Dont let me slide-HIT ME! BE HONEST! "Almost sounds masochistic (yeah-I cant spell) dont it? FREE YOUR SELF! Lets here your inner most creepys! (Unless yer a serial killer---might wanna hide that...)

A few times though I think I covered up just in time.  My mother walked in on me a few times.  She has a horrible knack of not knocking.  One time my brother came to visit and I was in the middle of watching a porno doing my thing.  I didn't even know he had arrived when he came running down the stairs.  Its not easy concealling your unit when its at attention.

[Doggett]

Many years ago when I was a teenager my brother Richie walked into the bathroom while I was jerkin' my Gerkin. He quickly closed the door. That kinda ruined the mood. 

  + 

Beyond Trevor-I think this may be happining right now. Nobody wants to comment on me self pleasurization. Who wants to admit that they got caught peeling the banana? Dont blame ya-"Eh-Better let RC slide on this one-" Dont let me slide-HIT ME! BE HONEST! "Almost sounds masochistic (yeah-I cant spell) dont it? FREE YOUR SELF! Lets here your inner most creepys! (Unless yer a serial killer---might wanna hide that...)

A few times though I think I covered up just in time.  My mother walked in on me a few times.  She has a horrible knack of not knocking.  One time my brother came to visit and I was in the middle of watching a porno doing my thing.  I didn't even know he had arrived when he came running down the stairs.  Its not easy concealling your unit when its at attention.

I wasn't watching porn, but once I had a mag which I quickly through down the side of the bed as soon as I heard the door move. My mum never has knocked on a door, ever !

How come none of our female posters seem to have this problem ?