Time for another off topic thing. Bad fanfics! Share what you believe to be the world's worst fanfics and share reviews with us. Here's mine!
Broly's Love Affection:
It's a slap to the face of just about everyone who loves fiction. You don't even need to be a DBZ fan to hate this crap. It's some of the worst, poorly-written tripe I've seen since "Harry Potter: My Immortal". But as insane and stupid "Harry Potter: My Immortal" was and how over the top silly it's sexual content was it wasn't a poorly-written DBZ porno. That's right, kids! A DBZ porno! I don't know if the writer intended this but by all things good, is everyone in this fanfic a whore! I'd give you a link to it but I'm not going to taint my Google search with "Broly's Love Affection", nor would I wish such a plague of literature upon your house.
Plot summary:
The fanfic opens up in a strange alternate dimension where people make spur of the moment decisions that come right the hell out of nowhere. Gohan was sitting on his couch when he just decided to go to the store. I don't know how he decided he needed to go to the store but he did. As soon as he left, Videl turned into the world's biggest whore since Bella Swan from Twilight and f**ked Gohan's 10-year-old brother Goten.
Anyway the entire length of the fanfic involves Videl f**king everyone including the legendary super sayin, Broly who has for no reason enrolled at Orange Star High School. Then Broly gets amnesia or some s**t (I don't know this story makes no sense) and believes himself to be Pan's husband, despite the fact that Pan shouldn't even be BORN yet. But then again this entire fanfic contradicts the DBZ time line. He f**ks HER too! Is EVERYONE in this story a god damned pedophile?! Anyway Christmas comes around, Broly is living with Goku, and Frosty the Snowman makes a nonsensical cameo and then after he melts is never mentioned again.
It turns out later that Videl is pregnant and she has Goten and Broly take "The Daddy Test" as she calls it. It turns out to be Goten's baby and so it receives the incredibly unoriginal name "Vilten". But then the writer remembers that time travel exists in DBZ and has Vilten's adult form visit from the future. Not only is this strange character covered with the generic marks of bad fanfic original characters but Vilten's traits
COMPLETELY contradict the traits of both parents! Anyway Vilten informs them that something evil has destroyed the future and everyone is dead. She never says WHAT this evil thing is and just calls it "The Evil". I think it's the villain from the rejected plot for the fourth Neverending Story sequel. So Vilten and Broly train in a dojo they find in the middle of the woods and it turns out Vilten is ALSO in love with Broly! I'm sorry but is Broly the most attractive guy in the universe? Well anyway Broly hits his head and gets his memories back and tries to kill Goku. Vilten convinces Broly not to kill him then she randomly turns evil and informs them that the future was destroyed by her. Not only that but it turns out she's a legendary super sayin. How is this possible? It turns out she is actually the baby of both Broly and Goten. How is THAT possible? She says that Goten made the original baby then after Broly did Videl his semen mixed with the baby already in the womb.
Ignoring that little bout of scientific impossibility, that makes Vilten Broly's daughter. It's weird enough that she loves him but it later turns out there exists a SEQUEL fanfic where Vilten HAS SEX with him!
So that means the fanfic contains PEDOPHILIA
AND INCEST!
So Vilten retreats like a retard and Broly kills her as a baby, thus erasing her from time. Boy... Retreating was a smart idea, huh?
So Gohan and Broly start hanging out and they start looking for the Dragonballs. Why? So they can buy a PS3! OF COURSE! PS3s are ALL THE RAGE in the DBZ dimension! Despite not even EXISTING! So they summon the dragon wish for the PS3 then decide they want another wish and go to collect the Dragonballs again. This however is impossible. If you follow DBZ canon you'd know that the balls turn to stone for one year after being used.
So anyway they do the impossible and summon the Dragon and wish this piece of s**t fanfic never existed, but Gohan and Broly retain memories of all that happened. The fanfic starts over from the going to the store scene and Gohan decides to stay home this time.
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That was probably the worst piece of filth I've ever read. One thing I didn't mention was that the grammar and spelling was atrocious. Ever single sentence in the entire thing has errors.
Well thanks for reading anyway and I hope you guys will share your own bad fanfic reviews.
-A.J.