A Question of Sanity

[AndyC]

I've had my own experiences with mental illness - depression, anxiety, mild OCD, obsession - and it's got to be the worst kind of pain, because your own mind is the one thing you can't escape from, and when it isn't working right, you don't perceive things as they really are. I've dealt with it off and on for as long as I can remember, but I had a particularly terrible bout of it about ten years ago - so bad there are one or two places I'm afraid to go, simply because of the memory of a terrifying thought I had there. Mental illness is much more common than most people realize, and there's no shame in it.

My first thought is to see even a medical doctor if you can. No need for a lot of expensive psychoanalysis, if a prescription for a simple SSRI will do the job. Reading this thread and others, I'm thinking it might. I'm hearing a lot of depression and anxiety in what you're saying. For me, the hard part was just going to see somebody, and not trying to tough it out myself. I just went to see my doctor a few years ago, told him what was wrong, and he gave me a prescription without a lot of folderol. I haven't quite found the right combination of meds yet, but what I have is helping some.

Now, if that is still more than you can afford, I agree that activity is best. Get out for a walk every day. Take advantage of the sunshine and get outside. Pump some iron if you can. Physical activity and sunshine will boost your serotonin levels, which will help some. And try to do some activities that require a lot of mental focus, something you can really get into for a couple of hours. Your cartooning seems like an ideal choice. From what you've said before, I think part of your problem is that you have a job that doesn't require a lot of focus, and it gives you several hours a day to get caught up in your own thoughts. Probably a good idea to fill your spare time with mentally demanding activities.

Another good thing you can do is a form of cognitive therapy, which can be as simple as learning to recognize an unhealthy thought and dealing with it in a healthy way. People always want to work through things, as if an irrational thought can be dispelled with reason. If you are depressed and anxious and obsessive, trying to argue with your own negative thoughts can just turn you in on yourself and let those thoughts take over. I know from personal experience. If you can train yourself to recognize such thoughts for what they are, you can deal with them in a way that won't cause them to spiral out of control. That can be as simple as just not taking the bait, and diverting your attention elsewhere.

[Umaril The Unfeathered]

Good post, AndyC.  Focusing on something really does take away that edge. For me, it was creative pursuits... when I had the space, I built model kits all the time. Mostly monsters and classic sci-fi stuff like the Lost In Space robot B9, and such.

I'd be sitting there for hours sometimes, not knowing how much time had passed, and seeing how nice the model kits looked when I got done putting all that energy into creativity really paid off in a big way. So did lessons in airbrushing and general brush techniques, lol

Point is, occupation is a big distraction for negative feelings, as you concentrate so
much on your task that you forget what was bothering you. Mind you, one size dosen't fit all in these situations, but creativity is a good way to go with these kinds of issues. It helps you burn a lot of energy in a good way.